Being diagnosed as an adult and informing your parents

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So I visited my parents yesterday. I was fortunate enough to get a few minutes with my step-mother while my father wasn't home. I shared and at first she had the "oh everyone is being diagnosed with that" response, but then she got emotional and admitted that she has had discussions with my father in the past about how I go through life, how exhausting it must be. She was describing how I'm always analyzing every situation in life and putting pressure on myself to be different, to conform. What she was noticing was my cognitive reasoning trying to override autistic traits. She acknowledged what we've all known but never discussed, that there's something distinctly different about me. It was encouraging. We talked about the friction that's existed between me and the family for years for the first time. I'll let him know at some point soon, it definitely seems like it will do more to repair past failings than create new issues.

Wow, That is fantastic. Now you have the ability to talk about it and to start to heal as a family over past hurts and to start to move forward with a new understanding. I am really proud of you Billy. That is great.

Hahahaha so much more? You have a BA and a Masters. I have only an AS that I took awhile to get since I had to pay for it myself.

Ok, fair enough. To put things in perspective, I have accomplished a lot despite the challenges. I could write chapter and verse about my failings though. Every relationship I have (and I don't have many) is strained, I'm a job hopper who gets run out of town everywhere I go, I have a mountain of debt and a house that's falling apart. It's a miracle I'm not divorced but we haven't been without our problems. For someone who works so hard and has an IQ literally higher than 90% of people in Mensa, you'd expect more. At least, I do. (My perspective on intelligence has changed as a result of all this. I see clearly now that IQ isn't the be-all, end-all.)

The one thing I would ask you to perhaps revisit is your conclusion that you never reached your potential. "Potential" is one of those words like "Average" that get abused when used to measure your self against everyone else. Don't let Society pigeon hole you. Try to separate the vagueness of "Potential" into your actual Dreams, Desires, Goals. Also, you're "only" 41. (spoken from an almost 56 year old.

I've managed to figured out the things I'm really good at and do them.
I'm trying new things I suck at and it's Scary.
I very much feel like I am in the middle of reaching my potential.
What more is one supposed to do ?

True, the "potential" I've strived to fulfill my whole life has been built off of the expectations of others, there's no doubt about that. I'm going to be more true to myself now, and that's going to take some time to figure out.