How to tell my BF I think he might be AS?

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I could not disagree more. Autism has common traits with many other conditions. Most people have Autistic traits. Autism varies a lot. An autistic may and are often very obvoius in one area and have no problems in a closely related area. Masking or pretending to be normal may make a person seem not to have obvoius autistic traits but it may present as a mental illness. A person may have most or all of the autistic traits but not be autistic because they suffered a brain injury or PTSD. A person may be autistic while also having another developmental disability. Another words a proper self diagnosis should involve months of research into Autism and other conditions that are linked to, common with, or commorbid with autism.

I love the quote in your signature, ASPartOfMe.

Last edited by KindaSortaNT on 11 Jun 2016, 5:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Or anxiety.

But how does one distinguish between all of them. I suppose if one has a history like abuse or if they were language delayed for a long time or had hearing loss and then could hear again, it can make it very difficult for the person to tell if they are on the spectrum or not. I even wonder how doctors can tell too. I am sure it's very possible to appear to be very well on the spectrum when it turns out the kid just had anxiety, ADD, stereotypical movement disorder, SPD, dyspraxia, OCD, language disorder, all these labels. Those seem to be enough to have an ASD because of all those traits they have especially if they miss social cues and have a hard time with teasing and sarcasm and fitting in and being accepted by their peers and reading body language and if they are literal and concrete.

And one last thing, can they still be called autistic symptoms even if they are not true autism symptoms of they are a result from another disorder or environment?

I think you all don't have a point.

If core traits are identified (and they all fit on just one page), yet you misdiagnosed it instead of another disorder, guess what? It still merits a trip to a specialist. And guess what? Your months of research still don't qualify you to make a diagnosis anyway - that's the specialist's job.

You go to a specialist because you think you have AS, the specialist find schizophrenia. It worked.

You're discussing how to approach someone, who shouldn't want an approach. Be blunt and mechanical, like stereo instructions. The leadup, window dressing, and uneasiness are far more annoying than an objective description of anything, no matter how bad.

A solid relationship requires that you can deal with issues that come up, big and small, and real big. Ultimately if either is afraid to bring something up you don't have a completely open communication, which is not good. The issue is not only 'does he have ASD' but also unmet needs. Better addressed now then later, and if it works out you should have a better foundation. Be tactful/respectful and patient. It can take time for people to let things sink in. Initially reactions are sometimes kneejerk negative. Being told you might be autistic can be pretty shocking.

If he investigates it reasonably, good. If he goes into denial or refuses to investigate it, put things on hold until he does is my suggestion. Talk about the physical aspects too.

Capthca problems, will this work?

Wow your story seems familiar...

So is my wife.



Neither is my wife!



So am I!!



Especially that part.



My wife's therapist suggested that I might be "on the spectrum" two years ago.



My wife's therapist hadn't met me.



I am also sensitive to these things, particularly light touch.



I can't tell you how he'll react, but I suspect if he is on the spectrum, he probably has been called lots of things through the years, and this will be just one more. That's how I felt. Actually, I thought it was neat, one more thing to cross of the bucket list. Seriously though, it was absolutely not a problem for me personally to hear this suggestion, though I didn't believe it. Everyone is different though obviously.



Yup, my wife told me what her therapist said two years ago.



After some problems at work 6+ months ago, I decided to revisit the therapists suggestion. I was diagnosed with ASD two weeks ago. When I first read the DSM criteria, I said "there's no way that's me". I persisted a little and I watched a video that completely opened my mind to the possibility. Google "Michele Vines Houston Oasis" and watch her talk. If he's at all inclined, have him watch it. Without that, I'm not sure I would have sought an evaluation. The DSM criteria are so abstract and there is no context to any of it, so with no experience, they can be really tough to relate to. check out her presentation, it's what opened my eyes to it.

um, so, the sexual facet of your relationship is the only facet that is proving a barrier to growth of your relationship? correct me if i misunderstood. if that is the case though, how important is bringing up autism spectrum disorder to him? if he is functioning well in life and is as awesome as you say. sensory issues are not exclusively autistic. if he cannot handle light touch...then dont touch him lightly. if you talk with him about how his peculiarities are a barrier to intimacy, talk about your own peculiarities. in other words, im sure there are types of touching that you dont like.

You do not understand how I define self diagnosis. To me suspecting one is autistic is not self diagnosing which is bieng convinced one is autistic. Whether the person goes for a proffessional diagnosis eventually is irrelevent to defining what is self diagnosing. Even to have anything but the most minimal suspicion you should do more the reading one page of traits. Reading one page of traits is fine as a start but should be nothing be more then the first step. The next step could a proffessional diagnosis, the final step is up to the individual.