Faking it for so long

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Sai
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31 Jul 2016, 3:58 pm

TheSilentOne wrote:

I used to try way too hard to fake it. I think that my attempts of covering up my ASD made it show even more. Now that I'm in college, I find that people are more accepting than they are in high schools. I don't feel the need to cover it up as much. I still find myself "faking it" in social situations, but I don't hide my special interests and I don't feel as afraid to disclose with my instructors.

I think the problem is that I don't have to try to fake it, I just do it without thinking. Sometimes the real me will still slip through (I don't want to talk about how many people I've made cry in my office!) but even if I did figure out how to be "me" again I'd still have the problem of having to fake it at work (where I haven't disclosed). Thank you for your comment.

Sai
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31 Jul 2016, 3:59 pm

the_phoenix wrote:

Most of you seem to have an ability that I don't,
the "luxury" of faking it.
I guess my lack of choice in the matter is for the best.
I can fit in up to a point I suppose.
That said, I really don't,
not even when I try.

I think maybe you can find some solace in knowing that you're at least honest to yourself? Thank you for your comments.

C2V
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01 Aug 2016, 8:14 am

Quote:

I don't consider this a "luxury" at all. It's actually a highly destructive thing to do.

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jcfay
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01 Aug 2016, 2:38 pm

I am OK at faking it, by my assessment. I am pretty good at feigning interest in what people are saying, but only for a little while. After a few exchanges of chit chat, I'm out. I can't take it and I bail. But I absolutely do it. I've been doing it for so long I think most people don't notice it. They probably just think I'm a somewhat distant, maybe arrogant, but decent dude. At least I think that's what they might think!

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Dillogic
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01 Aug 2016, 3:22 pm

I don't really understand "faking" in the context of autism.

I mean, saying what is expected? "How are you?" "Have a good day." That's what everyone does.

Pushing yourself seems like a better way to describe what goes on with higher functioning folk and the negative effects of doing too much "faking".

InNomineLux
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01 Aug 2016, 10:32 pm

All. The time. I find myself agreeing with something someone said about a topic I know nothing about (movies or music, for example). Or quoting lines from movies I never watched, but heard someone quoting them and just matching pitch. I don't even realize I'm doing it until after it's out of my mouth or my head's done nodding.

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-Welcome to Night Vale

jcfay
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02 Aug 2016, 8:49 am

Dillogic wrote:

Sure, it could be described as pushing oneself. I'm happy to push myself in a number of areas that I need improvement, but I have so little interest in emotional dialogue and much of other dialogue that it isn't worth it for me. It's an incredible hassle and actually exhausts me and generates significant anxiety. Yes, they are social norms that most comply to, but that doesn't mean everyone should. Unless you want to, in which case, good effort. I guess that's my take, but perspective is just that, so kudos to you.

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Pieplup
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02 Aug 2016, 11:27 am

Sometimes, I like to act like someone I don't, but not really acting not quirky either. I wouldn't really call it faking it. I like building fake Personalities. That's why My World is so complicated. My Sister says that I need "real" friends. My response to that is imaginary friends are real since.

Pieplup wrote:

Reality isn't real it's illusion...

Pieplup wrote:

Truth is a lie...

Also, Unlike most people. I honestly don't care what people think if they think I'm jerk unless they going to be violent about it. It doesn't effect me. If they like me unless they going to stalk me. It doesn't bother me. You can't really say what the truth is because right and wrong is all a point of view. Point of views are all based on your mind. Your mind is what you make it.

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anelynn
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02 Aug 2016, 2:09 pm

It's so exhausting pretending to be something your not. Thinking about every word before it is uttered, and every act before it is begun. I spend so much time and energy trying to be like everyone else that I don't get to be me. Heck, I spend so much time pretending, that sometimes I don't even know who I am. The world that humans have created sucks. One day I hope for a world that values each person for who they are and NOT how well they fix in with the crowd. Or maybe a time when I can say "screw it" and just be me regardless of what others think. Or a zombie apocalypse.

Sai
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02 Aug 2016, 4:39 pm

anelynn wrote:

This!

saxgeek
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02 Aug 2016, 7:36 pm

I used to try to fake being NT for a long time, but it didn't seem to do anything for me other than make me more exhausted. I can't even tell if I actually seem like an NT or not.

InNomineLux wrote:

I realized that I've fallen into that habit, too, and I've been trying to break away from that.

zeldazonk
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02 Aug 2016, 8:35 pm

Yes, it's like a defence mechanism, which is why it's so hard to drop it.

My nervous system instantly gets heightened / hyper-aroused when I have to be social. The more important / stressful the situation, the more heightened I get, and then I'm on automatic pilot. While I'm chatting away in that state, the real me is sitting in the background cringing and saying "shut up"...

I've pretended so hard for so long I now have chronic fatigue.

Zel.

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the_phoenix
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02 Aug 2016, 9:17 pm

Sai wrote:

the_phoenix wrote:

I think maybe you can find some solace in knowing that you're at least honest to yourself? Thank you for your comments.

Thank you, Sai.
It's nice to see things from another viewpoint, so I appreciate your words.

the_phoenix
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02 Aug 2016, 9:19 pm

C2V wrote:

Quote:

I don't consider this a "luxury" at all. It's actually a highly destructive thing to do.

Thank you, C2V.
I've been learning lately that sometimes,
ignorance really is bliss!

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