Why Are Aspies Suspicious Everyone Is Lying About Autism?

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Well yes, if someone does say that's exactly what they've done (read one Wiki page) then of course they are in line for suspicion. There is still a way, though, to be gentler with that person while still telling them they seem to be jumping both the gun and the bandwagon, kinda thing. Also, that brush tends to get swept broadly over even the sincere people who post that they've done very much more than that, or who are even diagnosed.

It's when that broad sweep of cynicism is applied not just to the "I read one Wiki!" person but also to everyone even the officially diagnosed, that it becomes very damaging.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_Grandin
This claims that Temple Grandin wasn't formally diagnosed until her 40s.

Despite her family having a ton of money for special services and educational opportunities that most parents would love to have today.

good points, all. Do you think those with diagnosed GAD or depression or bipolar or ADHD feel the same way? I doubt it. I see no cache whatsoever in any diagnosis of any "disorder". But I also totally understand with a crazy, wild and super varied diagnosis like ASD that some on the spectrum would find it terribly hard to relate to others. Impact on quality of life, level of physical function, ability to have a job, relationships, it all varies, but they can all vary and be present to lesser or greater degrees in anyone diagnosed with ASD.

I'd recommend anyone get a formal diagnosis if they feel they need one and it's warranted (and they can get one). Then you know for sure. That's what I'm doing. But I don't think I'll ever doubt a majority of those self diagnosed, if they fit the picture. I don't think it's a freak flag that most would want to wave high (Jimi Hendrix reference, couldn't resist). And I doubt that it's label that most or any would want to self-apply without considerable thought and introspection (save some trolls, I'm sure).

Absolutely: Asperger/autism is not a "disease of the month." Jerry Lewis isn't hosting any telethons pertaining to Asperger's/autism.

There is a different lie that we aren't talking about. Some lie to themselves and deny their spectrum issues.

A cousin is not aging well and is regressing. The accumulated traumas of his life have taken its toll. His family is rich and can afford the best treatment. But, they all refuse to address his problems.

Speaking about only starts an unpleasant fight.

Same here, C2V. I don't even disclose. I get absolutely nothing from having been diagnosed except my own closure and even that is complicated.

And a every so often a ton of grief here among people who are the only others who know about me and the last ones I would expect it from.

When one has first been diagnosed, they have to first forget all the other inaccurate diagnoses, outdated labels and cruel names they have been called (not that they can ever really forget that), and next they have to forget everything they thought they knew about autism. When I was first diagnosed with Asperger's I knew nothing about it and I only vaguely knew about autism. Weren't autistic people severely mentally challenged and trapped in their own world who couldn't talk and were in a constant state of fear and confusion? Also I was female, so I may as well be non-existent. But it didn't take long for me to know that it had to be true. And I'm glad it was.

Now I worry that other people will think I'm lying about being on the spectrum because of their own ignorance and misinformation, that they will think I'm using it as an excuse to be asocial or having meltdowns. After all, there are people who still think people with epilepsy are possessed by demons and need to be exorcised or burned at the stake, and I don't just mean underdeveloped countries.

I think it may be harder to recognize older people as being "on the spectrum."

On the one hand you have people who have been diagnosed, assisted, supported since they were young.
(Jealous, jealous.)

On the other hand you have the crusty older folks who, growing up before autism and Asperger's were
easily recognized, only have the scars from their experiences instead of the benefits they might have
acquired through therapy.

This creates two viewpoints; either one is often difficult for the other to understand.

When younger people look at older people (who say they're on the Spectrum), they may not see the signs of the claimant's well hidden Aspieness, and they can't see the scars underneath. Perhaps larger scars than you may imagine.

And when older, self diagnosed, aspies hear someone claiming to be the "TRUE" aspie, they can't see those patient years of frustration. Instead older people may only see only younger people that have been lucky enough to be given a break and just want to complain about sharing their so-very-small piece of the ((I call it "pain easing") pie. This attitude is also created by not understanding what the other person has gone through (which I don't very well).

I'm not talking about movie stars "coming out." I'm talking about our friends here on the forum.

EDIT:...to remove: "This kind of upbringing could either wreck you or make you tough." (Now where did "that" dumb thing come from)?

My only logical guess about all this is because it's the internet and anyone can lie online about themselves. But isn't it the same in real life too? Wouldn't anyone also lie about their diagnoses in the real world? They don't know you so how would they know you aren't faking it?

I don't even tell anyone in real life about my diagnoses. I don't say anything about my other labels either. Maybe on rare occasions I might.

By the time I signed up for this forum, it had been two years since I read that first wiki article and took that one online quiz. I did read other articles and blogs over the course of a few sleepless nights after, but then, like birdinflight (whose posts on this thread I relate to very much) I put it away. The initial 'this makes so much sense' and 'I'm not alone!' was replaced by anger and denial.

I didn't want to be autistic. I certainly wasn't going around like, 'OMG guys, I'm an aspie, isn't that cool!?' (Because, what the hell is 'cool' about being awkward, isolated, overwhelmed, and still having 'tantrums' as a 30-year-old?) That I had been trying so hard to do things others found easy and natural, only to fail again and again because of this 'disorder' I'd never be rid of, wasn't something I saw as an excuse. More like I was the butt of a very cruel joke. Two years passed before I had the courage to do something about it. I finally joined this forum because I believed I'd finally find acceptance and understanding here, and the strength to seek out a professional diagnosis. And I found those things.

But I also found people who believed my input has no value because I lack a diagnosis, to where I actually wondered if I was welcome (not through posts directed at me, personally, but at others in a similar situation). And, even worse, an alarming number of people who questioned the validity of others' professional diagnoses. People who expressed resentment toward those on the milder end of the spectrum who'd learned to (sort of, somewhat, cope) for appropriating 'their' label.

I get that coming from neurotypicals who only see the fake constructs we show publicly, who are ignorant of what autism really is, but from people on here? Yeah, it hurts a hell of a lot worse.

Because regardless of whether some professional will diagnose us as such (based on the ever-changing accepted criteria of a condition that even the most respected experts will admit is not well understood), even if we're not 'really autistic,' if we're 'just' the product of some perfect recipe of depression/anxiety/poor social skills/PTSD/hyper-sensitivity/executive function issues/obsessive compulsive traits that only resembles autism but lacks the fancy brain wiring, do we not have a place here? Can you not relate to us? Does our input not matter? Do you really have to the right to tell us 'no,' regardless of whether you believe our (professional) diagnosis, based on your interpretation of what we choose to share on this forum?

Is it really okay to shun us until we can properly convince you? What would that even take? Publicly revealing the darkest, most embarrassing moments of our lives? Going to a psychologist you personally trust and respect? Your psychologist, specifically?

Even for people who come on here going 'hey guys I took the aspie quiz and I'm autistic!' - well, what if they actually are? Yes, coming from a person who didn't dare join this forum until after they's done hours of research over the course of months, it's kind of annoying. But I think there should be a more constructive response than 'no you're not, go away.'