Does anyone else believe that their issues were caused by...

Post Reply New Topic

I think its a cycle.
Being different makes you angry (bc nobody understands you, nobody agrees with your perspective, people make fun of you, etc).
Then you have to repress that anger, which is not healthy and makes your more different.

Yeah, but my anger could end up making me act embarrassingly toddler-like.

aja675, yes. That's exactly what I think too. I don't think it's okay to censure anger. It has to come out somehow, and sometime. You can't just tell someone not to feel something that they clearly do feel! My son had major meltdowns, for no apparent reason (having been fine all day), almost every night. I suspected that the meltdowns were linked to his experiences at school way back, and that he had no way of knowing or expressing what the cause of the anger was -- he was too young to even remember what happened. If he were not able to take it out with me, on me, my feeling was that he would begin to turn it on himself.

One night this is what happened. after lying down, he sat up suddenly and started pounding the pillow, and his bear, really angry.. it went on for a while, I always just stay there and tell him I love him and am there when he needs me (usually it ends with him falling asleep exhausted in my arms). This time when he was finally calming down I said tentatively 'could it be, maybe, that you're still really hurt inside, you had these awful experiences at school and you can't even remember why or what happened, because you were too little.. ' (I said this because strangely he had come up with a couple of memories recently, really traumatic ones, from his nursery school, so 4 years ago now, so it made me think that the hurt could have come from there). He suddenly went wild, attacked me - he's never done this before! - he hit, kicked, bit me, it was an instant reaction to what I said! I didn't really do much except shielding myself a bit, i was in shock I guess.. he yelled at me 'I HATE you, I wish you were DEAD!', so then after thinking a bit I asked him 'do you think that someone else, a different mummy, might have been better than me?', and he went all quiet and after a bit said 'no, no-one would be better than you', then just sat there, all floppy. I started telling him about the people who think he's amazing, special, see his qualities - not his relations or anything, just random people we know who happen to really connect with him, so he knows this is true. I started by saying 'stop me if you don't want to hear this'.. he listened, and slowly came closer and closer, and ended up in a full-length body hug. his speciality. Then we read comics till midnight and finally fell asleep, exhausted but peaceful. That was 6 weeks ago, and since then there have been NO MORE RAGES. So far
He doesn't go to school now (we homeschool) he's been bullied in 2 different schools and that's quite enough. If I have my way, he'll never go again.

So, I reckon, BETTER OUT THAN IN. I think we're all so obsessed with making a good impression, who gives a darn??? Anger is always coming from pain, and hurt. If you can't express it, things will probably end badly.

I think that for autistic kids, maybe public 'tantrums" (I don't like that word much) could often come from overload, since if my son's anything to go by they really can't cope with overstimulation. I avoid situations where that will probably happen, and I know the signs if we're getting to that point, and it's time to scoot. What I find hard to see is people getting angry or upset, or demanding that they 'calm down', through gritted teeth.. with children who are losing it - they're not doing it on purpose! It's hardly an intentional thing, and it's certainly not something they're doing TO anyone. It's a myth that tantrums are manipulative. That kid needs to feel your support, sympathy and loyalty. When I see other kids freaking out, if it's possible, I give the stressed-out parent a sign that I'm supportive and I don't care about the noise.. like pushing the pram if they have to take the child in their arms, whatever. We can be so uptight in our culture, and so judgemental.

I'm really interested to know more about you, what your issues are and what happened? If you feel like telling about it, that is....

My thinking being that disordered neuronal growth and interconnectivity could be caused by a lot of things, but that heavy metal exposure in the womb is pretty much top of the list. It is a bit like asking "what causes stains" or "what financial practises result in unpaid bills". I would have no problems with the idea that a lot of things could cause the equivalent of neurological eczema, and that if that happens to a person in the womb or very young, autism is the result (not that all autisms work the same, or that the same pathogenic influence happening to different organs / different aspects of the nervous system aren't assumed to have a totally different etiology and are diagnosed as quite unrelated conditions.)

After all, we only proved that lead was toxic (rather than inert) in the 1950s. Now we know that there is *no* safe exposure level.

The way I see it is that toxicology is a totally underrated influence in most modern diseases.

It has not escaped me that the companies that make the chemicals are the same companies that fund medical research and produce the synthetic drugs.

Monsanto's aspartame (with food safety trials pushed through in the shade my none other than Donald rumsfeld, which made him a very wealthy man) and the obvious links to neuro degenerative and auto immune diseases, this is a very ugly example of the medical industry having a huge toxicological blind spot.

Autism is not a psychological disorder brought on by negative or traumatic childhood experiences. Although one can develope behavior problems similar Asperger's such as being asocial and reclusive.

Autism is not caused by exposure to lead or getting vaccinated. Although ingesting lead could cause brain damage that resembles autism.

People are born with autism.