Is it too much to ask for acceptance of our differences?

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Honestly, I think that it's hardwired into them at this point. I have some theories about that.

It's a fact that ethnocentrism in particular is deeply ingrained in the human psyche, and to restrain it takes constant self-denial. You can perceive that when talking to white SJWs, even as someone with AS, if you pay attention. They are constantly policing themselves, using crimestop to avoid thoughtcrime as if we were 30 years into 1984. Some of them go so far overboard that they come off completely submissive. We have a good word for that in French, aplaventrisme, or the action to lie belly down as if you were some carpet to be walked upon, without pride or dignity. Obviously it's hardwired into "PoCs" too but unlike whites they aren't compelled to crimestop, so as a result they're quite open about it.

They get away with it due to being in a position of relative power - unlike us, they are numerous, visible, well-organized and can draw on a long list of claims and historical struggles. This is all extremely powerful in our new victimhood society, where popular support is obtained by loudly complaining and playing the oppressed card, some people going so far as to fake hate crimes against themselves. People with autism are a tiny, invisible minority, and most of us grin and bear rather than denounce and complain, so we don't have much clout in the victimhood industry and we simply can't play this game. As well, the reason non-minorities support them is that they also gain something out of it : namely, they get to show everyone what good and tolerant people they are.

My point is that there's a very real human tendency to shun people whom they perceive as incompatible or too different. Unity may be strength, but I think true unity can only happen between relatively homogeneous people, in appearance and mannerisms. Perhaps that when we were cavemen, people like us would have been perceived as a weight to bear instead of a useful member of a tribe and expelled or shunned. Being able to successfully navigate caveman society would definitely have been a huge evolutionary advantage. I wouldn't know, I don't remember living as a caveman.

However, to counter myself, I remember reading that it was theorized that high-functioning autism traits survived that long in our genome because there would have been a certain evolutionary advantage to having functional autism. For instance, while hunting, it would have been useful to have a greater capacity to recognize patterns (thus tracking better) and obsessively computing data, even if on a narrow subject, making some of us the best at what they did in caveman society.

Then again, that was probably a time where surviving as a lone wolf or a very small band was feasible with the right skills and tool set, while this heavily socially interconnected society is a big disadvantage to us, so perhaps modernity turned on the exclusion instinct whereas we were pretty useful in caveman society, and here we find ourselves.

The other theory I have is that there is something in our demeanor that activates some kind of predatory instinct in people. One of the defining criteria of AS is gullibility - we can't tell what people think so we always take them and their motives at face value. I think that once they realize there is a person from whom they can extract something useful in their midst, they will pounce on the chance and do it. I've had many superficial relationships at the start to my quest to integrate normal society where things would go swell for a while, then I would visibly screw up by showing my gullible and trusting nature in some way. Very often people would do a 180 and start abusing my naivety until I disconnected from them. It took a while before I could find the solution, that is, I became very suspicious instead of very open. It was the only way to protect myself. I think most NTs are suspicious people by nature and the game is to hide it and appear friendly. That's why people so readily blame the victim when he gets cheated - if you really thought x deal was true, then you are a sucker, and suckers get sucked of all they're worth.

Of course I might be talking from my butt. I haven't studied the matter heavily. I don't know the exact mechanism behind their near-universal rejection of us, but I think it goes beyond not understanding us. I think that at some level, it's hardwired and they can't help it. Some might be able to control it by crimestop like they do with racial or gender/sexual minorities if they saw an advantage in doing it, but I don't think we'll ever reach some kind of utopia where we can all live harmoniously with each other, no matter our differences. Western democracies are bursting at the seams and I predict a meltdown in our lifetimes that will modify our societies as we know them, and I don't think it'll be in a more tolerant direction.

However, I maintain my "forgive them for they know not what they do" stance. At this point I just hope for live and let live.

I think that there is a problem with how NTs perceive ASD. Some of them (including my mother, who tells me that it's selfish to think that people should accept me the way I am) seem to think that a person with ASD is inherently 'normal', but makes a decision to act in a strange way, or behave badly.

There is plenty of acceptance for those with physical disabilities, and also people with Downs Syndrome etc. because it is generally accepted that those people cannot help the way they were born, or did not have control over the circumstance which caused their disability. Increasingly, people with mental illnesses are being viewed in the same way; people may think that they're 'scary' or 'weird', but they are generally seen to be afflicted by problems without their control.

I think that this is why those with higher functioning ASD are subject to more hostility and intolerance. We are seen as 'normal' people who should be able to control how we act. People with low-functioning autism are more tolerated, and even pitied (not that much better), because they are expected to be 'different'.

I certainly recognise that predatory behaviour from the neurotypicals. I also know that my autism triggers something in them at a sort of primal level. They just can't help themselves.

I am no longer accepted at work since I 'came out' with my aspergers diagnosis. There is a subtle disconnect and rejection there now. My manager also seems to think that asd is optional and that I'm just being perverse by being the way I am.

My youngest son who is 12 also has been driven out of his secondary school by predatory behaviour towards him.

There is no acceptance anywhere and tolerance is even short on the ground for us at the moment as well.

I've decided to follow my heart and let myself fall in love with Schultz and Germany all over again.

How was that in poor taste exactly?

Ugh, I'm not in the mood for this right now. These people came here from another site specifically to target me. Somebody just ban them and let's continue with the thread topic.

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text removed. Don't import material posted by members of another website.

I already mentioned in another thread here that I made a mistake in that chat. I apologized for it, and now you're coming here to try to stir the pot. You're not acting any more mature than me, you know. Go away.

Moderator edit. Personal attack is not acceptable here.

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Text removed by moderator. Wrong Planet is here as a support forum, it is not a place for people to come to in order to continue some personal dispute from another website.