Unfairness

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I am not a turkey was posed as a question, as if to ask "i am not a turkey (what do you mean, i dont understand)?"

I think it is quite obvious i am not a turkey, i dont understand why that was a respons from you.

At least, I understand you.

Whether I am making cereal or studying calculus, I need to be concentrating very hard to consciously follow the steps. So, making changes is difficult. That is why I have routines in the first place!

It is probably much easier for her to just move back to her seat (which she had the privilege of picking out) than for you to process this change, right? That is not someone trying to be difficult; that is someone struggling with a difficult symptom of autism. She, however, was trying to be difficult, to upset you, to make a point, to start an interaction...

You can try to have a conversation with her, explaining what you are struggling with and how these accommodations help. You can also offer her another opportunity to change the seating arrangements for the year, maybe make it a regular thing or for special occasions (as long as you get enough advance notice to cope). And even though I believe what she did was rude, whether she apologizes or not, you can forgive her this time and hope she learns from your conversation.

You sister is messing with you.

I hope your therapist can work on rigidity, because if everything is your way or the high way, life is going to suck BADLY. Heck, I'd like to have my way 24/7 because it is more comfortable.

If this chair situation is truly causing grief, can you talk to your parents?

-I'm really struggling right now. Can you explain to sis that the musical chair deal at dinner time is really stressing me out. It's an issue I want to work on in therapy (or whatever). For the time being can she stop?

This is advocating for yourself.

This is letting your parents truly know that it isn't just bratty sibling stuff. On the surface it's a sibling being a pain. Your parents may have no clue how this affects you.

The chair is more important than people right now. I get you wish your sister would vaporize and anything else that is annoying and stressful. That everything could just be a cozy bubble with minimal interactions and demands. The problem is, even hermits have to deal with people BS. No one is truly an island.

Does your family get that you are autistic? What are they doing (besides little sister being a pain in the ass) to help you along?

Hang in there! My husband ran duct tape down the middle of his and his brother's bedroom because they fought all.the.time. Then his brother out slide his big toe over the line, and my husband would lose it. This was in 1974 and no one knew about autism like today.

Hang in there!

Growing up, we all had our set seating arrangement. I was the youngest and the only girl and right or wrong got my own way much of the time. So my seat was nearest to the furnace vent. (We lived in an old drafty house). If my brothers took my seat I would really holler and they were told to give me back my seat. I don't remember ever sitting in other than "my" spot.

From her statement "oh, so it's not okay when i'm being difficult for once", I think she feels you get to be difficult more frequently than she does. I believe she feels that is unfair to her.

Yeah,
my parents know im autistic, although they dont fully understand what it means (for me).
Right now i am actually not in therapy, but i am being transferred to a place that knows about autism, so i can go to therapy there and get help.

Me and my sister have our own room, but when we shared we had a curtain that acted as a fake wall to divide the room

Any change in routine is often quite difficult for us on the Autism spectrum. Yet these changes are going to keep on coming and while eventually you will get somewhat used to it you are not going to like it. Eventually you will learn prioritize and figure out which routines are "just" important and which routines are crucial. That takes time and experience. The Rolling Stones said it best decades ago when they sang "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes well you might find You get what you need"

Hey Teksla!

I hope your day is going better with minimal grief.

Your family probably doesn't "get" how severe mundane things affect you.

How do you think you will fair during the holidays? The holidays are hard for my husband. Our home is really low key, but the fact that there is a holiday and people are suppose to do x, y and z, stresses him out. I expect nothing, and have no agenda, but that still doesn't make him feel better.

Waving hi from Michigan...