Why is it difficult to say your sorry?

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In a word Pride.
It goes before a fool, It comes before a fall.

Thank you very much for this thread. This sort of discussion gives me greater insight into my aspie realtives.

i think saying "Sorry" sounds gay. i hear myself say it and its liek all whiny "saaarrrrieee"

Problems saying sorry can be for both NTs and Aspies.

This goes for NTs as well for Aspies who don't say Sorry because of their Ego and Pride, and the thought that apologizing or saying "I am sorry" is a sign of weakness.

For aspies only, the problem is expressing it when you are really sorry.

In my case, I have trouble expressing it in real life situations when I am truly sorry for offending anyone, I try to apologize and I think I do, but it seems the other person doesn't get that or even doesn't hear it. In online situations it is a lot easy for me

NTs are just as likely to refuse giving an apology as aspies are. The term for the problem is likely "Bonehead syndrome", or something.

I don't have a problem saying sorry, I have a problem meaning it.

I don't like it.
I HATE saying sorry.
Just because of the emotion behind it. Even if I see I'm wrong.
It's like... You have to show a part of yourself that is very personal and private to yourself. Then at the same time there's so much else going on.

-Focusing on not letting too much emotion show through.
-At the same time not letting too little.
-Thinking about what expression to use and how to form it, and how it will look on your face.
-Thinking how to aproch, how to show the right emotion in the way you walk. Like weather to use eye contact or not and how fast you should walk
-Wonder if you're showing the right emotion and weather your way of showing it is diferent or not.
-Wondering weather they'll believe you through your body language.
-Wondering what words you should say.
-Wondering what pace to say these words.
-Wondering what questions the other may ask and thinking about responses to these.
-Concentrating on the other's body language trying to tell if they're in the mood or not.
-Wondering weather or not you should be thinking so much and weather it is slowing you down or not.

All these things spinning through your head... I now ONLY appologise through a writen note, an email/IM or a gift. It's usally just as effective.

I actually apologize far too much.

Here is what the majority of you are saying. Stop looking at everything as and AS thing. Seperate what might be "normal" behavior. I'm going to help by understanding this as a normal behavior and work on turning this apology which is needed into a feel good thing.

Because it means absolutely nothing. If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place. Sorry is just a meaningless platitude that people use to pretend they are being nice. It's like the other useless platitudes that people say and don't mean. "How are you?" They could care less, but claim they are being polite. Or, I tried to let him down easy. There's nothing easy for the person who is lied to. When you don't say what you mean it is not nice, it's lying. Platitudes are nothing but sugar coated lies. Not to mention they are extremely immature.

I say sorry all the time-whether it's appropriate or not. It's almost an automatic response in some situations. Half the time I say it it has to do with me interrupting someone while they are talking if I have a thought, because I want to say it before I forget. Luckily, most people understand it. The other half of the time I say it, it's just for stupid things. I'll do something and mess myself up on whatever it is I'm working on, then turn and apologize to whoever else is in the room because I'm taking so long to finish whatever I'm doing, lol.

I may be stubborn but I actually probably say I'm sorry too much as a reflex and figure I'm in the wrong even if part of me knows the other person was being a twit. So perhaps we should consider that some of us swing the other way and instead of having problems saying sorry do the opposite.

I hate being wrong too. It's so embrassing and it makes me look like an idiot.

I agree that "sorry" is usually a vapid word,and it's used too often to perpetuate a climate of lies.But I have known people who made myopic mistakes,and faced with the reality of their actions were actually remorseful.In those cases an apology was the best acknowledgement of remorse as was possible.That verbal/social reinforcement means they will possibly remember what they've done.To suggest "sorry" is only and entirely a platitude means all people are logical and fully aware of what they do at all times.I have found this is often not the case.

Quite often I use an apology to act as a security blanket; like I've mentioned, I'm sensitive to how I'm perceived by others and if I feel I've offended someone, I'll apologise to clear away my doubts. Most of the time this is all unnecessary.

This was one of the main points of focus during an intense period of introspection where I doubted that any of my actions were altruistic, rather that of an egoist.

sometimes it's hard for me to say im sorry cause when i go to explain my reasoning... i feel like ppl never fully acknowledge or recognize why i might have done (whatever i did) and so why would they accept my apology? seems pointless and awkward... cause i really feel bad when i mess up... but if there's no real positive reinforcement not to make the mistake again... then why try to apologize.