phenomenon wrote:
I went to my psychiatrist today to get a prescription for anti-depressants and also to maybe see if there's anything I can take for some AS symptoms (what's bothering me most right now is I can only eat one food at a time, so I eat that for lunch and dinner for months until one day I just get sick of it and from that time until I find out what else I can eat the thought of eating anything makes me physically ill). My mom came in with me because I freeze up when I see shrinks and he wouldn't see just my mom to talk about me, I had to be there. Anyway I've seen this guy a few times in the past 3 years, he's the one who originally diagnosed me with OCD. Well my mom is in there and starts talking about Asperger's about how I self-diagnosed and how after doing research it describes me exactly, especially my childhood, and was talking about different troubles I've encountered. She was describing my food issue and the doc asked if I was underweight and she said no (I have amazing metabolism...no matter how much or how little I eat I am always the same weight, give or take 5 lbs). So the doc then says that if I'm not losing weight it must not be that much of an issue and moves on to the next topic (I typically live off cereal until I find the next food I can eat.)
Then she starts talking about my social difficulties and he started talking about how Asperger's is a learning disability in that social skills are delayed but can be learned if the person puts forth any effort...and since I told him I was majoring in psychology he said that as I go along in my studies I will learn social skills from my major (! !! !!). This literally was his solution. He also suggested I pick up social skills by getting a job at a summer camp so I "interact more" with people. He was dead serious. AS to him is like dyslexia - it's tough but if you "study hard enough" you'll "get over it".
When my mom asked him to prescribe me something for depression he turned to me and asked me what I'd like to be put on. After he started talking out of his ass about AS I wanted to just get up and leave because it's 100% clear he needs to RETIRE since he has NO idea what he was talking about, but the fact that he was asking me, an 18 year old patient, what medication I should be put on, was almost too much to handle. This is also a doctor that has fallen asleep several times while talking to me (and my mom). The only reason we go back is because he prescribes stuff at the drop of the hat so it's just easy to go and get refills from him. Although I don't want to go back at all - I hate this guy.
I'm trying to find someone in my area that specializes in AS but everyone's several hours away...the only guy that's close to me has his number out of service so I'm going to drive to his office tomorrow to make an appt.
For all the people that dump all over Aspies for self-dxing...they are almost as full of crap as the ignorant doctors that we have to deal with. I'm not even trying to get a dx (I know I have it), I just want to get some prescriptions and some help with coping skills to help me make it through college (my reaction to stress is that I shut off...the last semester of college I only left my room for work, food, and once a week for the only class I WANTED to go to. I failed one class entirely, got a C in the other, though I have no idea how. My mom thinks I have a B- average and I don't want to disappoint her by telling her the truth).
This is exactly why I think they are psuedo-doctors. I laugh every time I see them referred to as doctors. If you are AS, you have a brain difference, he can't look at your brain so his opinion is just that - an opinion. What you experienced is what most on here have experienced who see any type of Psych "professional" which is multitudes of diagnosis that are sheer guesses.
Your eating habits: You sound exactly like I was. I also ate one thing at a time and went through food making me feel sick whenever I thought about it (looked at it or touched it). I still get this. I eat whatever dh puts in front of me. I'm fine as long as I don't have anything to do with it. I once lived on dry Cheerios for two years. It reminded me of it when I read that you eat cereal. Did you do the Cheerios stint? I'm not sure what drugs would help with this, but if it helps you mentally, I did better after college with this. One day I just started eating more normally and have since (maybe it was that I wasn't on my own any longer or maybe I just stopped dwelling on it?). I do it if I'm living alone now because I hate dealing with food at all. It grosses me out to be frank about it. I only eat it if it's already cooked. I definitely won't touch it to prepare it or I get completely grossed out. Does it also freak you out to decide what to eat? That happens to me. If I have to decide, I won't eat at all. I'm not really sure what causes it or how they would treat it.
I also shut down when under stress (your symptoms actually sound so much like mine it's eerie). I didn't get stress from classes except for the sound of all the people and sitting so close. Is it the actual stress of the work? Could they give you something like Zoloft or some other anxiety med? That sounds almost like an anxiety attack. The other thing you might try that is not meds is taking up yoga or tai chi where you would learn to better control those reactions. That's really the heart of those and other Eastern methods. I prefer those because there are no meds involved and you learn so much about your own body and how to control it. My best friend who is much more AS acting than I am is very much into this and it has really helped her. It would be worth giving it a try if you are off during the summer. They have so much of that on CD now where you can learn it without going to a class.
I think you are suffering from your comorbids rather than the AS itself. If those are your two major things, I would try these suggestions first. Our eating habits are just strange, they don't really hurt anything. People just stare at us, that's all. Tell your mom to pick the next food you'll eat and then you won't have to make the decision. It's the decision that freaks me out. I can't make decisions about food.
_________________
People say I'm crazy
doing what I'm doing,
Well they give me all kinds of warnings
to save me from ruin
15 May 2007, 7:17 am
