A question for the non/self diagnosed

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At a surface level, in that I have paranoia,paranoid PD seems an apt diagnosis. However digging deeper those with it are seen as confrontational and contentious in the descriptors.
In my case though I am an avoidant and fearful paranoid. Both the paranoia and social anxiety stemming from negative peer reactions in my teens to my physical and social awkwardness.

You say I don't seem to fit in here. Is that you paraphrasing what I have said, or is it your opinion on the matter?
I'm not sure whether doubt over fitting in is the same as necessarily not fitting in.
I guess quite a lot of posters who think they may be ,but are not officially diagnosed ,have some measure of doubt as to whether they are in the right place or not even if they may actually belong.

I identify with some, but not all ,of the stuff that's posted here. I am not sure whether that renders me as not fitting in as no two people with any diagnosis are going to be totally alike ,though there should be a measure of commonality.

I do think I fit in here better than I have in many other places ,even if I have doubts over totally fitting in.

I am merely paraphrasing what you have said in the past.

Thanks for clearing that up.

I think any diagnosis is looking for an explanation.

I cane to the conclusion that i may have aspergers as well as other comorbids (adhd, anxiety).

I dont know if im 100% correct. If im not, im very close. I can get professionally diagnosed later if i want.

I fit in quite well here at wp and with others who are anxious. Its a struggle for me esp socially. I am happy that i can find people with similar issues even though my diagnosus has not been confirmed by a professional.

You fit perfectly in here, FireMonkey.....because you don't think you fit in

What Krafty said. You are obviously a misfit in your real offline life. So that alone makes you fit in here on WP regardless of any diagnosis, or lack thereof.

And actually from your posts you do come off as being somewhere on ASD spectrum to me.

But that "paranoid PD" thing (never heard of it before now) does not sound right to me at all. You are not confrontational, and more importantly you dont talk about folks plotting against you (the core meaning of "paranoid").

^this

I personally believe that I am on the spectrum. Where at, however, I do not know. I'm actually one of the people who have done a lot of research on the topic of ASD and Aspergers, however, there is still much I do not know or understand. I guess I may be a bit biased, but it was kind of like finding the explanation for all the little weird things I do or things I experience every day. And that, to me, was very comforting because I thought that I'd never know why I just felt "different" than everyone else. I think a diagnosis is important to me, simply because it may help me and certain people who I am close to understand my odd behaviour, and why I behave much differently than other people.
But again, these are just my thoughts on the matter.

^^^What you said could be said of many on this Site.

They are exploring, seeking explanations for why they are frustrated, and why they have difficulty "making a go of it."

What you said made lots of sense.

When I was undiagnosed, I just wanted to prove to myself that I was not being lazy, careless, etc. and find out if anything can help me. I was 11 and hadn't really heard of ASD or anything like that before. It was very exciting to discover that there's a possibility that I'm not just a lazy and careless person, so of course I wanted evidence that I am messed up.

ASD seemed to account for nearly everything, so of course I looked for evidence to prove that I have it. But I considered myself an imaginative person, and my huge amount of research said that ASD = no imagination. So I explored other possibilities too.

There was a time when I thought, "I don't have ASD. It's probably just a combination of sensory processing disorder, ADHD, probable OCD, being billingual, a klutz, an introvert, a huge weirdo, and brain fatigue from being overworked by my school." Well, something along those lines.

Then I was diagnosed, and found that I fit in on WP.

In the US it's pointless and probably counterproductive for an adult to get a diagnosis on record. Parents who get one for their children can get some services, but even when I went back to college, I couldn't think of any accommodations that I would have needed for my situation.

I had other diagnoses before this, but they didn't help me much. As soon as I talked to a psychologist with expertise in Autism, my ability to cope started improving by leaps and bounds. That satisfies me that this is the correct diagnosis, or at least the best available at this time.

No. I had been trying to define the dysfunction in my family for well over a decade and never finding a fit, until I read about Asperger's. I don't fit in much here, and I have not found any smart help elsewhere, but at least I'm not frustrated by my unusual limits paired with unusual abilities so much, and my counsellor is also somewhat more helpful with at least a vague map to work with.

I was self-diagnosed for the better part of three years before I finally found a doctor I could afford. During that time, I experienced a lot of what you here describe concerning the frustration of not knowing, and being "in limbo" as I described it. I even posted about it here on WP after a particularly frustrating day of playing, "yes you are, no you aren't" with my brain. I used to identify with symptoms, and then a few hours later, ridicule myself and convince myself that I was just play-acting in an effort to fit the criteria. It wasn't until I was diagnosed by an expert who used a lot of detailed and complex psychometric tests that I couldn't possibly know how to fake autistic answers on, that I finally settled into myself and just let my existence be what it was, without hyper-analyzing every new stim and every sound-aversive response to see whether it was genuine of if I was just tricking myself or subconsciously faking it.

To me faking something would be a deliberate act with intention to deceive. I think that is quantitatively different from thinking mistakenly something applies to you .
Sometimes I wonder whether I am attributing things to me that are not really attributable. I guess I would call it the equivalent of a person who takes online tests and ends up thinking he has a host of different disorders/illnesses.
I describe my symptoms as they really are, but whether I am reading things into them that are not there is something that is an area of fluctuating uncertainty.

What I do know is that from a young age I have been socially out of sync, and had difficulties with making friends,initiating conversations, making small talk. I am not sure whether those can be attributed to ASD or ASD traits though.

If you can be honest about your abilities you can make a reasonable case for self diagnoses. I've strongly suspected I had ASD for over 10 years. I've only recently had a formal diagnoses which confirms what I suspected, if anything I've been diagnosed as more severe than I suspected as well as having other co-morbid problems.

One benefit of having the diagnoses is I now feel I can post here about ASD issues with the knowledge I do have ASD. Before the diagnosis I was reluctant to participate here.

I feel exactly the same way , I am waiting on a Dx and usually mention this in relevant posts just in case.

At 45 I'm not sure how a Dx of ASD is going to help my mental health TBH but if nothing else I would feel part of the autistic family here rather than an outsider.