What is the Autistic Dream?

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I covet what most neuro typicals want; A partner, own home in a decent, safe area, a well-paid and fulfilling job/career, friends and a holiday or weekends away every now and then. Nothing out of the ordinary. As yet, I don't have any of those things. Maybe I never will.

I'd also like the opportunity to utilise my Autistic abilities without having to hide behind a badly cultivated facade.

I just want to live the best life I can despite being born at a huge disadvantage.

No crazy dreams, no celebrity, attention, fame. Just want finance, good health, love, and the freedom to enjoy my hobbies with those I love.

To be happy and have the capacity to make others happy (within reason, of course)

I want to leave a legacy and not get so nervous when I'm with others. I actually perform better in smaller groups. Not because of one-to-one access but because I'm keyed up with trying to appear normal. You think it would be the reverse since smaller groups tend to be more intimate. More faces, more minds to appease.

I honestly don't feel like I want for anything right now. I'm left a lot of free reign to be imaginative in my job. I have decent pay, good vacation time, and some new friends (I just moved to a new city). I even get a lot of quiet alone time outside for my job, which is my absolute favorite.

I know I'm lucky that I can easily function on my own. If I needed support in the home I wouldn't have been able to pursue this career in the same way that I have. When I was a kid no one thought I could even be trusted to have a house key, or to remember to bring a pen to school. When I think about it now as I organize research expeditions into remote tropical sites, it kind of makes me laugh. I feel like the same person, yet somehow society pivoted around me.

I suppose my dream is to keep doing this, as long as possible.

I would bet, Fern, that people were flexible enough in your life to know there is no "one right way" to do things.

That's the problem we autistic people frequently have. What we're doing might not "look good" at first glance. Or might not be the "right way."

However, I am a person who believes the end result is more important than the process leading to the result. You were able to come up, in general, with alternative ways of doing things.

You were able, on your own terms, to organize expeditions to tropical lands, despite some sort of "defect" in "executive function." You got around that "defect."

I had to "get around" a lot of things, too, in my life.

I still, sometimes, feel sorry for myself, and don't accomplish some things I need to do.

Your post is inspiring because I didn't (and still don't) believe I can plan things like you plan things. But then I think: maybe I should try to "get around" my deficiencies in this area.

I think this is true. I also suspect that people who frequently find new ways to do basic things might be better equipped to deal with bigger problem solving situations. Figuring out what to do when someone's GPS malfunction has led us off trail in the wrong direction evokes the same calm and thoughtful problem solving behavior that helped me to find a way to get into my house when I was locked out as a child. Unexpected events will always eventually happen in the wilderness. I actually think all of us are "out of our element" in an unfamiliar forest. I'm just used to being out of my element, unlike most people. It helps me to take care of them.


I'm not sure which particular hurdles you are facing, but I bet even if you feel like you come up short in planning, on-the-fly problem solving is often a more important asset in a tight pinch.

to get a job