Why is everyone f***ing lying? are they insane?
I'm good at spotting liars I think because I'm a very observant/Sensitive type. It still frustrates me because you cannot call them out and people tell you to be more trusting. I'm also talking about truly deceptive people. If they are a person with a good vibe there is the off chance that they're telling a lie around me and I did not detect it because it's the same energy. My observance and sensitivity is more vague like that.
Also I do really get frustrated at this world. I am often told I am too honest and for what you said that means a lot of things I can say can be a lie and they would never know. For all I know they might be a terrible observer and see me as the exact opposite. Most likely they probably are too because I find that many people are naive in this world.
I'm a terrible liar. I might have lied a few times in my life but almost every one of those lies came back to bite me and to my knowledge I have never lied to an employer. I don't know how. I even have trouble spinning the truth positively if it deals with omission of something that seemed important to me. Even if I'm omitting by words, my body language never lies. If I don't like you you'll know it. That's how authentic I am.
If somebody is wearing an outfit that doesn't look good on him/her, do you comment on it? If you're asked if the outfit "looks good," do you give an honest answer if you feel an outfit doesn't look good on the person?
Also: most people don't say they are "doing bad" (especially if they are actually "doing bad") if asked "how are you doing?" In essence, they are lying--but they are lying for a reason--so as not to get socially ostracized for being a depressing person to be around.
If people always told total strangers how they "really feel," we'd probably go extinct. People would just want to kill each other LOL.
Social rules were developed for a reason: the preservation of our species, and the preservation of civil order.
I probably would especially if I care about them. I always tell my mom I don't like her short hair. She's fine with it. If they didn't want to know the truth then they shouldn't ask for our opinion.
Ugh I hate that question. I'm not even good at lying about that. At best I say fine I guess or meh. I don't understand the purpose of that question if they're not interesting in knowing how you're doing. It reiterates the fake nature of society. Everytime I hear that question I know it's code for "I don't really care how you're doing. I'm just asking to look like a nice person or I have to for my job" Considering this you would think it's easy to just lie about so I don't know why I struggle with it when they don't care anyway but my mouth just won't let me especially if I'm really depressed. I have thought about saying "I'm going through it" though. Since they don't care anyway they won't care what it is but it also satisfies my nature because it covers many situations.
I realize now people lie if it's not going to hurt anyone and if it's going to spare your hurt feelings and make you happy like how parents lie to their kids all the time to keep them from being afraid or to get them to eat healthy or because some things are too advanced for them to understand so they lie and lot of people don't see it as a lie because it's at the level of understanding for the child. I once read a post on another website about someone learning about diabetes in school when they were five and he was scared of getting it so his anxiety got so bad it was consuming his life his mother finally told him that only adults got it and kids didn't. I was sure that was a lie his mom told him so I said in my response "I bet she was lying so you would stop worrying about it because kids can get diabetes" and he said he knows that now and so did she then. But yeah some things are too much for a child to process so the parent lies about it to get them over their fear so they will go back to normal. I see that part as a gray area for when it's okay to lie because you are doing it for the child's sake and it's not going to hurt them. Just as long as there were good intentions for the lie, I am not bothered by it. But sometimes these lies backfire because kids are so literal like one four year old freaked out about going to the hospital because she thought she would never see her mom again because her mom had told her her dad was in the hospital so that is why she never sees him. He was in jail and the mom didn't want her to know that. Sometimes I think how hard is it to just tell your kid the truth like say her dad is in jail because he did something very naughty and jail is a place grown ups go when they broke the law. Did the mother think her daughter knowing her dad is in jail will be too much for her to process and make her fear her life thinking she will go to jail if she does something wrong it takes over her life and keeps her from living a happy peaceful life because she is so afraid of making a mistake? But even honesty can also backfire because it can make the child be very afraid they can no longer live a normal life but that also depends on the child. Some kids can handle the truth better than others so parents can be more honest with that child than they can with another one. So either way can backfire.
Well like you said either way can backfire. Personally I don't see the point in sparing feelings in many cases. A good example I would give is telling your mate you weren't looking at that guy/girl. If your face says otherwise why say you weren't? It only makes it more suspicious when you lie.
You mentioned children though so that gets a bit more tricky but I would probably be careful not to lie kids either. At best the birds and the bees talk would be "that's a conversation for when you're older". I'm not even sure if I'd do the whole Santa thing. When I was 10 years old I caught my parents being Santa and that was it.
I have caught my mom in her lies several times as a child but I didn't put two and two together so I just assumed she was mistaking and some I didn't know until years later because she told me or I just speculated she could have been lying. Occasionally it would backfire like the time I started saying the f word because I thought it was just a word my mom said was bad even though it wasn't because she had said that about other words that were not bad words like stupid or idiot or duh. To a child those are bad words and most kids even forget they were told they were naughty to say but I took it so literal I never forgot. She had to slap my mouth to get me to stop saying it. It just never occurred to me of she has lied to me about one thing, what else has she lied to me about. I just assumed she only lied about X, Y, and Z.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
