making a living out of "doing it for the art". naive?

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Sometimes people discover that their hobbies cease to be fun once they turn them info full time jobs.

But, you won't know until you get there.

it's not that i don't love it. it's just that i never designed a game before and i'm nervous and not sure what i'm doing.

I hate moving to a new computer. It takes so long to get familiar with the options, and they are so different that I have to re-think whatever I got it for, if I have not forgotten about my project past the point of recovery. I have set up new systems for four jobs, and never made more progress on any of them.
It has been observed that creative people can't wait for a "better" time to work - they'll write novels on the subway or in between serving customers.

Sometimes more is less, in computers. Our provincial medical system wastes at least a half-hour per day per employee, including MDs, because they are entering medical records on screens with lower resolution than the software developer's.

I'm going to also add that you are only 20 years old. My older brother is 24 and he still has not found his true job. He takes part-time jobs, and still has not found a full-time job to pursue.

There are many people in college and in their 20's who are undecided.

You don't need to have a career immediately. Even if you are in the low working class.

i never said i could design one

i turn 21 this September...

You can learn to design one at any time in your 20's, and you don't need to make a decision immediately. In fact, unless you are pursuing medicine or mechanics, your first focus should be having enough money or getting through core courses in college before choosing a major. A major in video game design.

Go learn C++ and Visual Basic.

If you start now, then by the time you are 25 years old with a bachelor's degree you will be proficient.

Don't let anyone make you as a bagger in Walmart.

You can be a game designer.

Oh and go to art school that way you don't make straight-to-dvd crap like the drop-outs and anti-art school folks who constantly use famous people as examples.

you've met people like this?

I see them all over Facebook, Reddit, and Forums.

They criticize their audiences for being disappointed for not liking their film after they funded their films on Indiegogo or Kickstarter. I have to admit also that even though those people know how to present themselves. Their films are just as flawed as someone who has gone to an art school. The worst part is that they film parts of their backyard, and make out that because they filmed their backyard that they are as talented as a National Geographic videographer, and which of course I say I just see trees, flowers, and rocks, yet no story. Footage is sharp and crisp, but there is no story.

One of the reasons why they are able to make so much stuff that looks good is because they have a lot of money, and they are fortunate enough to live in a good area, and which of course not that many people are fortunate enough with.

the way you worded it, it sounds like they're more egotistical than anything. i'm not like that (actually i have rather low self esteem...), but really don't have much money for art school or for even big budget projects, so the best i can do right now is use this desktop and gain the knowledge that i need and want through many, many articles and videos.

strangers on the Internet are not psychic.

professionals in the field that you want to get into, might look at your work, and tell you yes you have that potential. or no you do not have that potential.

however, you can't just ask anyone. b/c precious lil "friends" told me i should (or could) get published. but none of those precious lil "people" had ever gotten published before themselves. so they do not know how to get published. nor do they know about the numerous rejections.

in other words, they were biased.

likewise, it has to be a professional in that field.

if professionals in that field say you can make it, then that is as good as it gets.

if they say otherwise, then that is that.

in any event, in the meantime, you need a day job.