Is my view on forgiveness aspie-like?

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All the same, it sets up a standard, with both aspects, that I can't possibly meet.

Yes, I probably will have revenge fantasies in the future. I prefer the zen approach of viewing it as an ocean wave which will rise but will also fall. If I get down on myself for merely having a revenge fantasy, it seems like that just makes the whole thing worse.

And as far as the 'not forgetting' part, it's like a health worry. With health worries, I had to give myself permission to potentially forget something which might be very important. So, with a person who has proved not very trustworthy, I mean, how much mental energy am I going to spend trying to hold this in my mind? And to complicate things, I'm a little in the direction of being 'face-blind' (prosopagnosia). So, if I'm going to get on with my life, which I very much want to do, I'm going to have to take the chance that I might forget something important. Maybe the first time someone lets me down, 80+ percent chance that I shy away on this topic area and protect myself. If they let me down a second time, 95+ percent chance. And that will just have to be good enough. Anything like a hundred percent is a fiction and the attempt is too dearly purchased.

I'm a little lost now. So what do you do? Not forgive and then eventually forget? I'm sorry for not understanding.

When you talk about holding it in your mind do you mean the grudge/revenge wish, or the memory of the incidents that cause you to mistrust them?

When you say you shy away to protect yourself it seems like you're referring to what I mean by not forgetting. When I talk about forgiveness I only mean I cease to hold ill will towards the offender. But I may not let them back in my life, I will "shy away" too. Like your percentages the more times a person hurts me the more likely I am to eventually just shut them out entirely. I still feel like I'm being obtuse and missing something

Thanks for the link, soloha. I took interest in a lot of the posts, there.

I guess that everyone views forgiveness, and even defines the terminology, a little differently. Maybe forgiveness should just be a fluid kind of a thing . . . the main goal being the healing of relationships and disputes if it's healthy for everyone, and less emphasis on the exact how, and when, and why.

CuriousButDepressed, I forgot to say that it seems like maybe a bit of your childhood moral teachings stuck with you, even if you didn't realize where they came from to begin with.

I hope you have a nice day.

If it's something big, I don't forgive - period. I cut people off if I'm better off without them or they do something I find unacceptable. Burning those bridges are good, I've never regretted a single one.
Life's too short as it is, so I prefer to spend my time and feelings on those who deserve it and the activities I enjoy.