Coping with work

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Lots of things. It is very unpredictable. Different shifts. Anything from 13 hours to 8 hours. Days, nights, weekends. It changes day to day week to week and I'm a planner. I need to know what's coming, where I'm at and what I'm doing minute by minute, hour by hour. It makes me anxious. Just looking at a new rota gives me palpitations and I will have worried about it coming out weeks/months in advance, even losing sleep over it. Then there's the job. As I say, unpredictable. Could be working anywhere, in or out of my department. Then there is the generic lack of staff and lack of support. I know realistically and when I am being rational I am good at my job, very capable and I know what I'm doing. Yet since I've been depressed and started with the anxiety and the bullying happened I have just lost my confidence and need re-assuring. Yet there is never any senior staff to ask. At times, there is just no one at all. It is always feast or famine. The next minute there could be loads of staff and students hanging about with no work to do and all socialising. I struggle the most with this. I don't like idle time because then I have to try and blend in and socialise etc and it just exhausts me. I have to communicate constantly with patients and when I get five mins I just want peace and quiet, I don't want to have to try and fit in and be part of the team. I want to be quiet and recharge my batteries and retreat to my own little world but apparently that's not okay. I just don't feel accepted for who I am (quiet, reserved and in my own little world) and I don't feel appreciated for what I do (or try to do) either. Whether it's in my actual job or the fitting in part. Then there's the constant noise and interruptions. The phone, the bleep, the general chatter, the porters, students and doctors and nurses and so on constantly interrupting. My head just can't take it. Sorry, I got a bit ranty there

I should have also mentioned it is also to do with routines and my obsessions. So a large part is sticking to routine and fitting it all in. When i can't i just get a whole lot worse

Perhaps you could find a private practice to work for that has regular hours?

I personally haven't worked in many years. The depression I have to live with, and the fact that I have no motivation for much of anything has stopped me from trying to find my own happiness, which for me, isn't really possible since whatever it is I do I don't get any enjoyment out of it, or if I do it's very little and doesn't stick. I adopted the "Why should I try?" stance. I also consider Autism to be a curse myself.

Unworldly think there's a lot of stress with nhs workers an you all do such a great job regardless of this.

I don't have any tips unfortunately but do you have someone to support you financial whilst you are going through all this?

^^sorry, predictive text and my phone won't let me edit.

Two things that I think should be available to you under the Equality Act 2010.

The first is a regular rota. This comes under indirect discrimination because it is a rule that applies to everybody but puts you at a disadvantage. It is a reasonable adjustment to give you regular hours, it could even be a 2 or 3 week basis but it would enable you to plan and develop a routine.

The second is a "quiet space" that you can retreat to if you need 5 minutes to recover from noise and social interaction. Another thought is perhaps you could spend some of the idle time tidying the stock cupboard or catching up on paperwork or something which gives you a bit more space.

If you have problems with how other people are treating you, perhaps you could make an appointment to talk to someone- either a boss or someone in HR. This also gives you time to prepare what you want to say and gives you the space to say it. I find it very difficult trying to catch someone to talk in the middle of the work day- I'm in a school and the NHS has to be even worse!

I hope these ideas help.

I had a look through this "Equality Act" for the UK and it's pretty awesome actually! I wonder if we have some sort of equivalency in Canada? This is something I definitely need and should look into. Many of the provisions are there to protect Autistics like us.

Especially the part about retreating to a safe space because I work in a very noisy and distracting environment and it can be hell sometimes. It causes me to stim for hours on end and I'm usually quite angry after work for several hours.

Bravo UK! The mother country of Canada!

Sadly, there are none local so that would be ideal. I would have to move which is a little drastic. But thanks for the ideas



I can understand what you say about the motivation. Mine is starting to come back in that I don't spend days in bed at a time and some days I am managing to make myself something to eat. In fact I probably have every day this week which for me is amazing! What did you do when you did work?




My parents are supporting me at the moment. I have been refused PIP (0 points - what a joke but that's another story) and housing benefit doesn't even cover half my rent so I need to appeal both decisions because I don't know how they came to their decisions.

No wories



Thank you, these are all things that I have thought could be adjustments but my solicitor friend has advised me to just go back to work and not ask them for anything because she thinks they are looking to terminate my contract and says that it will not help, because there is the law and then there is what people actually do. Her take on it is that they see me as a problem and now as HR are involved I am on their radar. So she seems to think I should just get my head down for 6 months and not ask for anything or create waves. She basically makes it sound although I am a problem and I have done wrong. I don't think that's really what she means and she is probably being objective but it doesn't help me, does it. It's not something I can control and I'd be lucky to make it through a month to be honest, nevermind 6 months! This is the same friend I mentioned before. She is a great friend but very shrp tongued and direct and can lay the boot in when I'm down without even realising!

Anyway, I got a bit side tracked there. What I'd really like to do is work set nights every week because I think it'd be one of the least harmful to me. Yes I will be knackered and there's the sleep issue but worrying about shifts, rotas, routines in and out of work, plus duties when working days I won't sleep much anyway due to anxiety. Then at night I won't have as much noise as I'll be lone working, except for when I have a student or I'm needed by a nurse, doctor or patient etc. It'll just be the bleep and the phone to drive me insane but I'm thinking there may be some way to put them on vibrate or a special phone I could plug in when I'm on shift that gives of light instead or something daft. Or maybe I could just turn down the volume on the phone? I never thought of that but that's an idea isn't it.

They are going to refuse me that though because they don't trust my reliability because I've been off sick so long and often lately. So the other option is days. and that isn't really an option. I can only get my head around 2 days, possible 2.5 days but the full days would need to be spread out.

As for a quiet space - I've also thought of that and a reasonable adjustment being that I can just take 10 mins if I am getting anxious or overwhelmed without having to ask or there being repercussions. There is no real quiet space in our building. The staffroom isn't even fit for purpose considering the amount of staff and even if I wanted to go in there on my lunch, I'd be lucky to get a seat that wasn't on someone's lap! But I try and find little tasks like checking stock, removing out of date patient records and things like that.

When I returned to work last year, everyone treated me much better and they are doing so now. I don't really think it is my boss breathing down my neck, I think it is HR and my friend is probably right in that they see me as a problem and a hassle, and are likely to just want to redeploy me or terminate my contract.