Being told you're in your own little world

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There's nothing little about being in my own world.

Yep....it certainly is. You're hurting nobody if you're in a "fantasy world."

As long as one foot is on the actual Earth, fantasy does no harm.

Being "in my own world" was a constant complaint from my parents, teachers, peers, etc, growing up. It was expressed in a variety of ways including "What's wrong with you? It's like you're in your own world", and, "Get your head out of your ass" because I was seemingly not paying attention. I actually had a nickname as a result of this through high school (I'd share it but it would give away RL details that I'm not sure I'm supposed to). I didn't always realize when people were talking to me or I would just be too absorbed in a thing or my thoughts so I often didn't respond when people tried to get my attention. Either way I guess I seemed out there a lot.

I've been told that I'm in my own little world many times. I was told by my mum that I appeared to be in my own little world at the age of 17 because I enjoyed dressing in hippie fashion. My mum overheard me talking on the phone to one of my friends about how I felt that there was nothing wrong with that, so she didn't mention anything about those clothes again.

I was told that I was in my own little country by some guy that I went to college with, because he was angry that I didn't get on the same bus with him.

I was told that I drifted off into my own, little world and my mum was afraid that I was going to do that. She was talking about the way that I was taking the British 60s a little too far in 1998 when I had my breakdown. I didn't think there was anything wrong with that. I thought it was just my mum's vanity.

In early 2016 on Valentine's Day an hour before dinner, my mum caught me hiding in the spare bedroom, opening the door of the spare bedroom wearing my self-made Schultz helmet and waving a small German flag. She asked me if I was 10, told me it was like I can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality and she wish I never found the TV show, Hogan's Heroes. I told her that I wanted to go home after dinner. I was obsessing over my mum's vanity. Two and a half months later, I took an 11 week break from her presence because I prefer Germany over Britain and I don't feel that I can grow in a womanly way for obvious reasons. I still called her on the phone most days.

Dean is always asking me if I'm in my own, little world with Peahawk, Om Nom and Sweet Peas. He thinks it's cute.

I have issues with this. I get told I'm in my own little world more than I'd like to hear. I don't care about it too much, considering I don't care about other people or their opinions in general, but the isolation which comes along with doing my own thing is somewhat frightening. It brings on an existential crisis, an infinity paradox. Other people can keep that from happening because when you talk to them it feels like you're not just in a giant empty white room all the time.

My own little world is massive though, it's not little by any means. It's more like what a Schizoid would have rather than what someone with ADHD, Aspergers, or Social Anxiety would have (I'm not saying those 3 are similar, but I more mean a similar range of severity). It's all consuming and acts both as a buffer to the outside world and a means of experiencing small but fascinating parts of it.

Yup, all my life. My co-workers joke about it at times. One of them (my mentor) has a small bell in his lab coat just for me. He rings it to bring me back to reality. They even named it the "Kimosabe bell" (replace "Kimosabe" with my real name of course ) Nothing malicious, it's quite funny really but unfortunately he lost the bell for the past 6 months or so...

I've always become lost in imagined conversations. It can be very therapeutic. In real life I get talked over. In fantasy, I can converse normally.