Treated like it's OUR FAULT

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It's OK scrulie, one day cats will rule the world and everything will be alright. It won't be long.

Woohoo!! !

Remember how lucky I am!

How lucky are you exactly?

I'm lucky in that I've met a lot of nice people lately!

That's good!

I've had an intention to make my life good for a while and I think I've done it!

Excellent!! !

I think it's because I'm growing!

I agree with you when u say that for every deficiency u have , you have a strengh NT don´t.
I dont think its an impairment either,(at least the ones i know) i see it more like a different personality thing.
The brainwashed thing, not sure if u mean psichologists and shrinks. As for me or other NT in my family, they see my mum not impaired at all, but having a strong and different personality or character (not sure which is the rite word) to them. Thus i am not telling anyone she´s got AS cos then they would start seeing it as an impairment, not before.
Besides, my mum doesnt even know and shes happy this way, she likes the way she is, just like my sis.

Instead of knowing how to socially carry myself, I can remember things better than other people. Whoop-dee-doo. Relationships? Pfft, I am really good with numbers! And I'm good at multi-tasking... when I don't overload.

What a bloody waste.

My mom says that it's my fault that I couldn't get any help in school because I was a "bully" and disruptive. If I was such a "bully" how come I still got picked on?

I really hate to say this -- but the truth is -- people with Asperger's are exactly the same as everyone else and when push comes to shove, they need to learn how to suck it up and make life work. There should be no special treatment. If a family member feels compassion about the way you feel or are treated because of AS -- they should be rightly scolded, insulted, and even cussed at because they are doing you a grave diservice by assuming that you should be treated with care and compassion and be given encouragement and help with the tools you might need to live a comfortable, functional life.

Don't believe me?

I didn't either, not until I was handed my ass on a platter for seeking help on how to reach out to a loved one in my own life who lives with AS. For making the effort to *try* to help him make peace with the drastic and (to him) devastating changes he has been facing in his life. For suggesting that we help him seek an independent living facility or get the ball rolling on a home for him.

Very rarely have I stumbled across such blatant contradictions as I have here. A majority of the posts are based on coping -- how hard it is to cope, how shafted people with AS feel, how hard they have it and even how some feel "cursed" Yet the instant you stick your hand in with the intention of helping, understanding, or encouraging -- you're met with the venom and anger of a pack of rabid dogs, "we're fine, he must hate you, you are violating him, back off you mothering, meddling, ignorant know it all, leave him to figure his own life out!"

Mixed signals?

Yeah -- but given the circumstances, I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

Part of the problem is you are dealing with two distinct sets of Aspies here: Those who have bought into the idea that we're somehow disabled, and those who haven't. Many of us, including myself for most of my life, truly believed ourselves to be inferior because of our "condition". Consequently, we learned to think of ourselves as helpless. (Check out "learned helplessness" in a psychology textbook. It really happens.) Once a person believes they can't do something for him/herself, that person stops trying and starts "needing" help from others. These are the people who whine and complain about people not being compassionate and how hard it is to cope, etc.

The other group are those who've had their eyes opened to the fact that all of that is a big load of steaming crap. Not only psychologists, but members of society in general automatically assume that if someone doesn't have the same set of capabilities as them, that person must not be equipped to care for him/herself, and consequently they must need help in order to survive. For those who are compassionate and good-hearted, this causes them to feel pity and/or guilt. For those who are not, they look at the "disabled" person and see someone who is clearly inferior and therefore should be laughed at or even removed from the picture.

Either way, the person with different abilities percieves only signals that they are somehow less. The most awful thing about it is that different is not the same as diseased. I am different. I am not diseased. There may be some who are diseased on this site, but I don't think its the Asperger's that is the disease; it is the learned helplessness which disables and causes misery and self-destructiveness. We have been trained from birth to think of ourselves as inferior, and many of us have never heard anything to the contrary. Consequently, the thought that their differences might not be debilitating or demeaning has never even crossed their minds. That's what I'm talking about when I mention "brain washing".

It's also why some people get mad when someone tries to help. It's not the act of helping that is the problem. It is the implied message of inferiority. If you want to help someone with AS, show that person just how much they are capable of. Show them how they are not inferior or diseased, but simply different. And call them out when they whine and say they "can't" handle it. It's the best thing that ever happened to me. I just needed to realize that though I might have gotten short-changed in one way or another, in the end I still had all the means necessary. Only when life doesn't give you favors can you learn just how capable you are, how magnificent you are as a human being with your own mind and your own strength. But those who get favors will keep asking for them.

I don't think AS makes me "disabled", either. It's the other people such as co-workers, employers and such that I have a hard time convincing.

Have you tried saying "If I could help it, I would've stopped AGES ago! It's no fun on many occasions."