Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

I'm antisocial and I want to fix it

Page 2 of 2 [ 24 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

Awkward
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 28 Oct 2016
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 187

09 Dec 2017, 4:04 pm

Well. I'll keep studying at home. But i dont think i have enough knowledge to help others study. But there are several problems.

At the moment one of my biggest fears is dying as virgin. I've never had a girlfriend. I'm almost 20 years old, and the time is passing. :( The university exam is in June 2018. If i pass i'll start going to university on September 2018. And i'll become 21 years old, it's too much. In this timeframe i have zero chance to socialize, probably. Because i'll be usually studying at home. :?



fluffysaurus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,723
Location: England

09 Dec 2017, 4:25 pm

It wouldn't have to be uni students, how about adults with poor literacy skills. Helping other, helps others obviously, but it also gives us a different perspective on ourselves. And we need that, because if you're anything like me, your a self absorbed introvert.
On your other point, the guys will give you better advice, but I can tell you that every male 19 year old virgin on the planet worries about this a lot, your fixating on it because your autistic. Tell yourself it's ok to be concerned, but that it's not ok to obsess. Obsessing about being a virgin, obsessing about loosing it by a certain date or age are the very worse things to do. Concentrate on making acquaintances, and then building those acquaintances into friends, though even if that doesn't work it's still good practice.


_________________
climate change petition, please sign

Petition against Amazon selling 'make downs extinct' t-shirts. And other hate speech paraphernalia.


Dear_one
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 77
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,721
Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines

09 Dec 2017, 4:26 pm

Awkward wrote:
Well. I'll keep studying at home. But i dont think i have enough knowledge to help others study. But there are several problems.

At the moment one of my biggest fears is dying as virgin. I've never had a girlfriend. I'm almost 20 years old, and the time is passing. :( The university exam is in June 2018. If i pass i'll start going to university on September 2018. And i'll become 21 years old, it's too much. In this timeframe i have zero chance to socialize, probably. Because i'll be usually studying at home. :?


I was surprised at how much people appreciated my help with physics. Perhaps I covered more basics than the teacher. You never know until you try a few different approaches.

I would guess that a more accurate wording would be "At the moment, one of my biggest desires is to lose my virginity." Presumably, you have decades before you will die. To get from near-zero social ability to getting laid, a prostitute is your only reasonable option. I did hear of one 30-odd virgin who was helped by a woman mostly out of pity, and he then made her life very difficult.



BTDT
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Age: 63
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 8,488

09 Dec 2017, 4:59 pm

A common mistake of Aspies is to discount our strengths because they come so easily to us. And to fixate on our weaknesses. Interacting with others may help us better appreciate what we are good at.



anti_gone
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 18 Jul 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 237

10 Dec 2017, 7:49 pm

Awkward wrote:
Hi all.

SUMMARY OF MY LIFE

I'm 19 year old and I need some help. I started going to therapist at the age of 12. I was using antidepressants called "Prozac" and "Abilify" until last month. I gave up using these pills because they were useless, and have side effects (weight gain + acne problem). By the way, my psychiatrist was also useless, he was just writing a prescription and sending me home.

I'm autistic, antisocial and socially anxious. I struggle when talking to strangers, cant make eye contact and i get severely anxious. I have 0 friends, i go out rarely, only when special occasions. I feel like i dont belong to this world. I have nothing to do outside.

EDUCATION

I'm preparing for university exam right now. The exam is in 6 months. But i cant keep motivated, because i think nobody loves me except my family. I feel like im the unwanted person. So i'm an introvert. I was a little more social in high school, and i was more successful than my peers. But now? Im an introvert and i just do NOTHING in my daily routine.

I'm asking if it is possible to fix my problem(s)? I know my problems are worse than any other autistics. But i cant live my whole life in this way


According to my experience, the most important thing is to find a place with like-minded people where you can feel at home. Some shared interest or some place which is very welcoming.



anti_gone
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 18 Jul 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 237

10 Dec 2017, 7:52 pm

Quote:
My mom wants me to go to gym to lose weight. Because i'm fat (97 kilograms). I want to lose weight, but i'm scared of such places. There will be too many people there, and im socially anxious. I'm afraid of being bullied there.

You won't be bullied at the gym. Everyone minds their own stuff there. It's not a school classroom. And you won't be the only overweight person there.



Pieplup
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Dec 2015
Age: 23
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 2,658
Location: Maine

12 Dec 2017, 3:18 am

Awkward wrote:
Well. I want to go to university next year. But i was a very antisocial person in high school. I was sitting in the classroom usually. I'm afraid if everything will be the same in university, too. :( Because university is a social environment. I can't sit in the classroom all the time, i need to socialize, make friends, talk to teachers when necessary.

I know life is too hard for autistics. :(

So, can you give me some advices, about my life goals. Should i give up studying? Should i continue being an introvert, or socialize? Where can i be more social? My mom wants me to go to gym to lose weight. Because i'm fat (97 kilograms). I want to lose weight, but i'm scared of such places. There will be too many people there, and im socially anxious. I'm afraid of being bullied there.

Throughout my life, my mom helped me with social life. She was coming to therapist with me, for example. I do very less things by myself. But i need to do, because i'm 20 years old, i'm growing up constantly. My mom cant help me with everything, right? I'm an adult! But i doubt if can do something myself. For example I'm afraid of registering to gym by myself.

I dont know what to do, to solve my problems. Please give me advices. I'm desperate.

I believe your misusing the term anti-social.


_________________
[color=#0066cc]ever changing evolving and growing
I am pieplup i have level 3 autism and a number of severe mental illnesses. I am rarely active on here anymore.
I run a discord for moderate-severely autistic people if anyone would like to join. You can also contact me on discord @Pieplup


Pieplup
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Dec 2015
Age: 23
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 2,658
Location: Maine

12 Dec 2017, 3:30 am

Awkward wrote:
Hi all.

SUMMARY OF MY LIFE

I'm 19 year old and I need some help. I started going to therapist at the age of 12. I was using antidepressants called "Prozac" and "Abilify" until last month. I gave up using these pills because they were useless, and have side effects (weight gain + acne problem). By the way, my psychiatrist was also useless, he was just writing a prescription and sending me home.

I'm autistic, antisocial and socially anxious. I struggle when talking to strangers, cant make eye contact and i get severely anxious. I have 0 friends, i go out rarely, only when special occasions. I feel like i dont belong to this world. I have nothing to do outside.

EDUCATION

I'm preparing for university exam right now. The exam is in 6 months. But i cant keep motivated, because i think nobody loves me except my family. I feel like im the unwanted person. So i'm an introvert. I was a little more social in high school, and i was more successful than my peers. But now? Im an introvert and i just do NOTHING in my daily routine.

I'm asking if it is possible to fix my problem(s)? I know my problems are worse than any other autistics. But i cant live my whole life in this way

Maybe not "fix" but you can attempt to lessen them. I'd attempt to atleast have some place to go to outside of your normal life to lessen social isolation. Also It might help to take it slow. Remember it is better to do one thing than to do nothing.


_________________
[color=#0066cc]ever changing evolving and growing
I am pieplup i have level 3 autism and a number of severe mental illnesses. I am rarely active on here anymore.
I run a discord for moderate-severely autistic people if anyone would like to join. You can also contact me on discord @Pieplup