Aspie solidarity is a big fat myth

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The term "high functioning" is deceptive. It assumes that a person who is diagnosed as "high functioning" must be so in all areas of life. That is not true. I am extremely intelligent, even gifted (verbal IQ of 134), and I hold a full-time job. Despite that, I struggle massively. I'm barely hanging on to said job, and getting ready to quit and find something less stressful because the office politics and bullying have driven me very close to suicide, as recently as three weeks ago.

I've only stuck it out this long because I don't have the skills to find work that pays a living wage on my own. I'm having to wait for my job coaches (plural, because I need more than one) to help me organise services that will help me get a direct support worker for my next job. It would be this person's responsibility to remind me of things, help me stay organised and on top of my work, accompany me to work functions or trainings that are otherwise so overwhelming that I can't attend them, and be there as physical support for the massive, self-injurious meltdowns I have on the job once to twice a month, which 50% of the time involve my bolting. Last Friday's meltdown almost caused me to get hit by a car as I ran into traffic, oblivious to my surroundings. It was only my friend who saved my life.

So. Yes, I'm female, yes, I have a college degree and a full-time professional career, yes, I'm intellectually gifted, and yes, I can drive. But I also can't adequately feed myself, forget to take regular showers, don't know how to clean a house, would forget to pay my bills if I weren't living with my sister, and require full-time support in order to maintain employment. How would you describe a person like that? High functioning or low functioning?

Honestly I wonder how much circumstances affect how high functioning someone is. In my first year of college at 16-17 years old my social skills increased greatly for the first time in my life I was able to hold a semi decent conversation with a stranger, at the time most students were getting £30 a week my mothers income being over £30k stopped me from getting this so she gave me it instead. I thought my social skills were good enough to get a job so I applied to the easiest place as possible Mcdonalds. On my first day some gay lad was flirting with me a lot, the stress was too much so I quit then my mother decided to stop giving me the £30 a week, so I was the only person I knew not getting money I was further Isolated and which started my regression. Now at 29 I have achieved nothing with my life and live in isolation and my social skills are worse than ever. If I had not gotten that Job I would have continued to strengthen my social skills and would have went to Uni and have a life now.

people like Darryl Hannah and Dan Ackroyd [both Dx'ed] i'd call high-functioning, IOW they could "pass" for NT. the people in the functional hierarchy beneath then i'd call "high-ER functioning."

I'm female, have no circle of friends, never had a job, couldn't finish school (not due to academic performance--which was always very high--but due to my inability to make friends at school and to network socially which is essential in higher education and academia and because of my anxiety and depression.) But I am labeled "high-functioning" because I am verbal and my personal hygiene is good and I don't visibly stim a lot when out in public.

Can we please stop it with the "girls have it so much easier than guys" BS, PLEASE???

I have seen posts from people in this forum where they implore people to get a job.

Do they know how that makes people like me feel? I have had strangers say that to me even though I am on the verge of a mental breakdown.

It is a trigger. I find it offensive people lecture others. I have seen people write things like 'you can't expect others to pay your way'. This sounds like a backhanded insult to aspies like me who for whatever reason cannot work.

And some people here I know ignore me deliberately. I have posted replies to them several times and they never reply. And they never reply to one of my threads, but do start ones or answer others on the same day, making it obvious they don't want anything to do with me. And yet they talk to most people.

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