Is it really a gift?

Post Reply New Topic

This describes me perfectly, except the expectations come from myself, not my parent.
Is it a common thing for people with ASD to do well in their earlier years, but then start to fall behind later on?

I had no expectations from myself. I just wanted my family to get off my back, and quit hounding me about my grades. In fact, I fantasized about running away and living on the streets as a child, so nobody would give a damn about how I do in school. Plus, wouldn't it be nice, if a teacher said to me "I'm going to tell your parents you got a C on this test", and I said: "Up yours, _itch, I live on the streets!"

My parents' obsession with my grades was one of the main reasons for my anxiety while growing up. It also contributed to my determination to never have kids of my own. Which I've been upfront about with the women I dated.

As for doing well early on, then falling behind, remember this: a star twice as bright bright burns half as long. In other words, cursed (not gifted!) kids who breeze through the material in early grades---because they're ahead of the curriculum intellectually---quickly hit a brick wall later on, when the difficulty escalates beyond their ability. Why? When cursed kids breeze through the material, they don't learn an important skill: actually studying. Simply because they don't have to---until they do.

I don't know. I had the opposite. In the 1'st grade I struggled with writing and a lot of subject what bored me or where I was bad (painting, singing, sport...). In high school I had better results. More subjects I enjoyed (computers, accounting, typing - now on trainings I can write notes what I can later read ) and it was more practical and useful.

Maybe I was lucky when everyone considered me stupid.

I have suffered too much to call it a gift.

I dont consider it a gift. Just who I am.
No different than my allergies.

It's not a gift of course but it made me more sympathetic to the needs of others in a way. Like, because it doesn't come naturally for me to recognize their needs i'm more careful not to hurt them and try to be a good person. So i guess it has good parts too!

It depends on the person. For me, it has been a gift. That is probably because the people around me or people at school don't make fun of me for not knowing social cues. But the thing is, I don't have that much of a high IQ and I am one of the worst students academically at school. But still, I take it as a gift because I am very creative. But for people that get bullied because of it, its probably a curse for them. So, it depends on the person.

You being "one of the worst students academically at school" may the best thing that ever happened to you, as an aspie/gifted person. It means you get to be left alone, by the narcissistic parents and teachers. Who, if you think about it, don't really see you as a person, but as a robotic doll or a trained dog that brings in straight A's, that they can show off to people and say: "Look what I made!". All under the pretext of "caring about you" or "wanting what's best for you", of course. And when those A's don't happen, they get angry , not unlike someone flying into a fit of rage when their computer freezes. It's the same mindset: "Why isn't this thing doing what I want it to do?!"

When I was in school, being left alone was my dream. The dream that never came true. As a result, I was constantly jealous of street children who didn't need to worry about their grades, and I made suicide plans every time a bad report card was coming.

I wouldn't consider it a gift. Whatever success I have had is a combination of supportive parents and teachers and a will to succeed. It was also very helpful that English and writing were my strong subjects. My academics were generally strong as a result. One thing I wish I could get rid of is anxiety.

Lol, no, aspergers is what made me develop PTSD, I've never had any friends and I never had emotional support like most nts have in order to fix their own problems, I'll never delude myself and say aspergers is a gift, because that's such a lie, let's look at it like it actually is: an invisible disability....

It's not outright a gift, it's just part of who someone is.

If you could take away the autism from someone, it wouldn't even be close to the same person and would be basically replacing them.

Autism isn't easy, it is hard. But that doesn't make it bad.

And a lot of the time when people think of autism as a curse, they are blaming autism for things it isn't responsible for, like depression or bullying.

It’s like being a mutant in comic books - it’s both a gift and a curse.

I wish I did not have autism, that I would understand my feelings, could process everything normally and socialize on a normal level. People call me smart but I am insanely sensitive, have sensory problems and always feel like I don't belong. Like the OP, a burden and with a caring character, being a protector, a supporter at heart, I hate myself for that.

Saying autism is a gift, those people often don't have it themselves or don't have the problems I mentioned. They function very well or their environment accepts them completely.

It hurts me to hear it, know how many people suffer from it. My uncle did, he hated himself as well. Always wished for aliens to come and pick him up, finally free from this god awful place. As a kid I always kept my window open at night, hoping for something to come and get me, to free me from here. Nobody should feel like that.

A gift... Well, I wish I could give it away, you can have it.

Wow, the grades thing made me think.
It doesn't really apply to me, as my older brother and I were capable of getting As and Bs through high school, which was enough to satisfy our parents (who never considered me aspie anyway).
But I have a friend in Indonesia who is probably on the spectrum. And he's a firstborn and an only son. And he got top grades all through school. And his parents put him in university. But he can't handle university. And the honor culture that already has high expectations for sons isn't doing him any good.

I have various mental & physical disabilities besides my autism that cancel out all the gifted parts of it. I do NOT have any of the stereotyped strengths/skills/talents that us Aspies are supposed to have. I see my Aspergers as kind of a weakness compare to the rest of society. That said I don't hate myself for it & don't try to put myself down all the time over it. I see it as a chronic mental issue that I deal with everyday that partly makes me who I am. I'm not sure I'd want to change it if I could since I am who I am. I used to hate myself but now I accept myself & try to go on with my life instead of worrying about it. Sure I make posts where I complain about different Aspie issues but venting about it makes me feel better & try to find a way to address the issue if I can & I move on instead of dwell on it.

@nick007 Im wondering, what are these other disabilities?

For me its both, but in the end I accept it, because it makes up alot of what I am and how my personality is.