Self-harm, seeing my own blood. Nothing else causes the same or similar sensation in my mind, I can't find anything to use to replace it with or help me "step down" from it - it seems like I've tried everything there is. It just feels really good to me, and when my chronic depression is at its worst, sometimes it's the only thing I can feel that isn't numbed by the depression. And nope, the initial pain doesn't put me off - sometimes it too creates a pleasant sensation in my brain, kind of like
ASMR (which I also experience), and never is it enough to deter me. I've been struggling with this to varying degrees over the past few years.
Everybody hurts and everybody deals with their pain in a different way. I respect it. Stay safe.
11 Jul 2018, 3:49 pm
