wanting to be autistic
ASPartOfMe
Veteran

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 38,084
Location: Long Island, New York
You probably did not intend to insult people but you might have unintentionally hit some sore spots. Many autistic people including proffessionally diagnosed are constantly bieng told Autism is a fake disease, or you are claiming to be autistic because it is an excuse for bad behavior, or you are an attention seeker latching on to a fad diagnosis. Others are tired of media portrayls of autistics as cute socially ackward savants. If you struggle with autism or elements of autism you are really tired of hearing and seeing these things. Self diagnosis is also very controversal in this community.
I think Autism like any human condition has its good and bad points. If you have gifts and positive traits that have been associated with autism and want to share them go ahead there are probably other people here with similar experiences.
I think knowing who you are and why you are the way you are is important. Wanting the explanation to be specific thing because you think it is better or is percieved to be better then some other condition often leads to confirmation bias.
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Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity.
“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman
The OP was talking about her talent in running......
Autism to one person is very different to autism in another person.
I have a really neutral attitude towards "autism." My "attitude" towards people depends on how they treat me, autistic or not.
It could mean someone is gifted. It could mean no such thing. I'm not gifted. I'm smart in some ways, and dumb in others.
No, I don't think it's wrong of you to want to be autistic at all. Clearly you've been having problems for a long time and two possibilities that have been put to you are autism and schizophrenia. While autism affects every area of ones life, schizophrenia strikes me, and I think most people, as more frightening. That you hope you don't have it seems very sensible to me.
My advice is to do lots of research on both, talk to people in both communities. You will then be able to find your place and people with similar issues based on the answers you find rather than on what you hope to be true. You might be both, you might be neither. Your issues might be due to something different. The more you look the more likely you are to find the right answer.
It's clear to me that you are not wanting to be autistic because you find fitting in all the time makes life boring and you think autism is a fashion accessory.
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Petition against Amazon selling 'make downs extinct' t-shirts. And other hate speech paraphernalia.
I can relate to not being labeled as "schizophrenic" even though I have never heard voices. My mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia in her 50's and it is definitely a factor in me not wanting to seek a diagnosis. I'm scared that professionals won't listen to me since I have a family history of schizophrenia which can sometimes be genetic.
From my knowledge, though, she never displayed symptoms of schizophrenia prior to her 50's and I believe that if she had gone in for a diagnosis when she was younger, she would have been diagnosed as autistic. She certainly had many of the characteristics of autism but I can only speculate about that since she was never diagnosed. It makes me wonder why it's not possible to have both, especially if it shows up late in life. Or maybe if she had been diagnosed as autistic, her later symptoms would have been seen as a psychotic break? I'm not sure.
I do, however, think that if you're experiencing symptoms you should seek help. At the end of the day, just speculating on what's causing the problem is not going to help you as much as going to seek a diagnosis.
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