Why Do We Struggle In Social Circles?

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For me it's a combination of things. Straight out auditory processing challenges, it takes me a second to figure out what a person means by what they say, and in a group the conversation has moved on by the time I get it. Also, in a group when people usually end up gossiping or talking about abstract things they don't really know about, my fake radar goes off and all I can think of is how their behavior is some weird previously agreed upon human ritual. I don't ever know how to respond unless something comes up that is an obvious place I should be nodding along with or asking a question I already know how to ask. I also am usually just not interested in the things people talk about in groups.

I believe that a few people made a point of saying that it was a matter of interests, like the relevance of the conversation topic and in what you have interest. I think we largely struggle because while most neurotypicals claim to only wait until there is a lull to insert their piece while half-listening, we put in everything towards listening and following the conversation and basically constructing another response every time the subject changes. It gets frustrating when the contribution you prepared becomes irrelevant so you say to yourself that you'll just be faster. But by the time three turns go around, you've most likely become tuckered out from not really saying anything. I can braid hair for 15 hours straight but if I stay still for more than 20 minutes after such a session, I completely konk out. It's like revving the engine of a car but not engaging.

Honestly, I think the real difference is that we put unfettered attention in something while others are able to turn their attention to the next shiny thing. As the world gets faster, it seems like we get slower when in reality - we're moving at the same speed we've always moved at. I bet it would have been easier to converse had the group been smaller.