Worrying that age 30 is middle age

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I'm only 21 and already have two children so straight away I had to grow up a bit in the first year alone. I've found that sometimes I have to be very stern to make sure my girls are well behaved but I'm still very childlike which I think is good as it helps us bond . But I can turn as cold as ice when I need to.

I'm a fan of Doctor Who and rather like this quote from Tom Baker's Doctor: "There's no point in being grown up if you can't act childish sometimes."

A great quote and I fully agree with that. It's good to be half serious and adult but don't lose that younger innocent part of you that makes you unique. I didn't and it's shaped me into a much better person .

I feel I'm not a very young woman at 34. I never been to college, I don't have a full time job, only a small job and I don't have many friends. I also hate myself, so I do know whats it like to feel like I'm having a pre-midlife crisis.