The Trend I Noticed on WP During My 5 Years Here

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Don't think it hasn't gone unnoticed it makes you a much easier member to get along with.

Only 3 or 4 minutes , that's nothing , try every post

Bare in mind that some members might be on a free holiday at the moment.



Don't get me wrong , some of the advice that Fnord provides is sound , his method of execution not so sound And some members are not ready to listen yet due to the depths of their problems , if you are unable to notice this or are unable to be sympathetic , your advice is going to come across as cold even if you don't mean it. And I don't mean enable these people , as Raleigh said we are not trained counselors it's a difficult situation.

This is a big problem. You'll see people thrusting into someone else's thread where the OP is asking a questionabout their own issue. But they just have to comment along the lines of "well that won't work for me. I'm doomed and ugly and everyone hates me."

It's better to ignore those comments and continue the original conversation.

I've slowly learned this.

It's on my list.........

The funny thing is: is that most of these people aren't actually "ugly."

They formed an ideology, for whatever purpose, that assigns "ugly" and "unloveable" to them.

Agreed. If the interlopers want to discuss their own problems, then they should start their own threads instead of derailing others.Same here. One of the nice things about WP is that I have learned some of the more subtle social graces, albeit s-l-o-w-l-y. People in the off-line world have noticed this, and even some of the people at church are starting to smile back at me!.

I also joined in 2013 and WP was at the time a more positive place about autism and the members in general less negative about themselves. That radically changed in 2014. Since then it has gone back and forth but never gotten back to as positive as 2013.

I am more and more beginning to believe that 2013 was an anomaly and those of us that joined that year were spoiled and in a bit of a bubble. The studies showing rampant suicide ideation amoung diagnosed adult aspies and the suicide is the leading leading cause of early deaths among autistics without disabilities the type of autistic that posts here strongly suggest this is so.

There are probably many reasons for this trend on WP, autism traits/symptoms itself, the co morbids, people escpecially younger ones desire to fit in, internalized ableism, society encouraging victimhood, helicopter parents spoiling children etc. Each merits its own discussion. I think Autistic black and white thinking is a factor. People are either in the my autism is going to prevent me from accomplishing mentality discussed in the OP, or the if you try hard enough you can accomplish what whatever you want mentlity. As a older person I find both of these ways of thinking as unrealistic for most people and probably partially a result not having regular contact or only hostile contact with those diverse group of people known as NT’s.

I'd also add our entire world culture has become more pessimistic in that time frame and that filters into each sub-culture, autism sites included.

Since you have become the topic of conversation and it relates to something I posted above I will add my two cents. Above I mentioned how if the mentality of if you try hard enough you can do anything you want is unrealistic for most people. You are not “most” people. For those that do not know Fnord was physically and verbally abused regularly at home and at school. He has been homeless, abused and discriminated against regularly as an adult. Using autistic hyperfocus he is an example of a person “pulling himself up by his bootstraps”. He has a job, nice home, an apparently successful relationship. My guess as a non qualified, non professional is this. Executive dysfuction is thought to be common amoung the autistic population. One part of executive functioning is known as initiation. It is fine to be able to start things but one has to be persistant and smart about it meaning good planning skills another part of executive functioning. I believe you have extraordinary executive functioning skills not just for the autistic population but the population as a whole especially with initiation.

Seeing your posts since 2013 you do not give yourself enough credit for the changes you have made in how you post. This is especially true after your posting break from but it was noticible beforehand. Recently we has a pregnent poster who was very anxious about things and you told the other posters something along the lines of lay off her she is going through a lot right now. That demonstrates a lot more than understanding social graces.

Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 21 Dec 2018, 11:25 am, edited 2 times in total.

Similar to dysmorphia, perhaps?

Aw, crap! Sorry about that! Didn't mean to derail. Carry on!

despair begets despair, and to some people, little helps a bad mood more than spreading it around.

severely depressed people literally do not have the same thought processes as others - often thinking in self-defeating ways and enabling their own situation - and i think sometimes here that is overlooked, by others who have very logic-based approaches to helping others. nothing wrong with that of course, but it helps greatly to remember that we don't think in logical ways. we all just want to be understood and accepted, but seeing eye to eye is hard.

Completely off topic, but I love your avatar.

I noticed your changes right before you took a hiatus a few years back, and especially now that you've come back. The real question though, is do you feel better and less pessimistic?

I find all the points of view rolling in interesting. ASPartOfMe, I wish I had joined earlier to see if postings before 2013 were more positive or negative. I haven't exactly been here full time so I didn't quite notice the roller-coaster trend you did, after a while I tire of WP, and eventually I come back again.

Regarding Fnord, whether old style or new, his advice is sound and always something to heavily consider.

I feel better about myself, and I'm still pessimistic about other people.

WrongPlanet.net can be a portal to self-improvement if only people were more introspective instead of merely self-centered.

thankyou

it's my own design.

fnord is great