Having little to nothing in common with neurotypicals

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And don't take this as an attack, but this is what I mean.

We don't know what we're missing. A blind man (I'll keep with that example) can never perceive the color blue, no matter how many sighted people he hangs out with. He'll never experience sight, and thus, can never experience the individual color blue, no matter how many sighted people attempt to describe it to him.

You say, "I am fully capable..." This isn't about YOU the individual. (Theory of mind problem?) WE, as Aspies, don't know what we're missing.

Sorry, but I agree with Sandpiper. The people whose company I've enjoyed best throughout my life have also been NTs for the most part. Most have excellent social skills and some are very extraverted; they are open-minded and share similar interests to mine.

On occasions on which I found myself in the company of mostly autistics, outside of this message board, I haven't found them to be particularly relatable or even welcoming. There were individuals in those crowds I really got on with well, but that was neither in spite of nor because of their ASD.

As I said, we'll have to agree to disagree. I am certainly not in denial of anything. You may speak for yourself. You do not however speak for me ("Theory of mind problem?"). If you believe that you will never comprehend the neurotypical experience that is fine by me. However, I am not blind. I am capable of understanding things which I do not personally experience. If you would only open your mind, you might "see" all sorts of interesting things.

Sounds reasonable to me.

I have something in common with everyone. They just don't always realize that.

What are we missing according to you?

I do know what I'm missing, and know why I'm missing it. Pure and simple, I started too late in accomplishing certain adult milestones and, consequently, failed to establish the routines that would have led to a more normal life. I spent my whole life doing things that were meaningless and let anxiety and my silly obsessions take hold.

^^^I'm sorry to hear that you regret the life you had.
I think ezbzbfcg2 meant by "We don't know what we are missing" that we would not be able to understand NTs and though we don't know what we are missing. ezbzbfcg2 is speaking about something we would be completely unable to understand in the way NTs perceive the world. I'm eager to know... I think NTs lack of a true deep consciousness, they only have a well developed self-consciousness, no global consciousness, and they don't know what they are doing. As an aspie, you need a lot of mercy and a very open mind to go and meet them in their tight selfish world, most of them.

Doesn't really pertain to ANYTHING I've said. It's okay to disagree with something, but at least understand what you're disagreeing with first...do you people even know what I'm talking about, or even tried to ponder it?

What is it you think I'm saying?, because you're responses indicate you're clearly not comprehending.

Like here:



Uh, what does this have to do with anything I've said? I'm not talking about what sort of people YOU like better. I'm not even talking about YOU personally. This has nothing to do with what neurotype most of your friends are. You've all missed the point completely. (Though I'm not surprised.)

LaetiBlabla, thank you for addressing what I was actually talking about. Maybe I didn't do the best job articulating it, but if you re-read everything I've said since my first elaboration, everything I predicted came true. A bunch of self-centered answers followed by people "disagreeing" with me while not even comprehending what I was saying. And you're correct, IstominFan also fell into this trap of speaking about herself and missing the mark completely. She described the typical outcome of her impairment.

I never said we can't be friends with or get along with NTs. Not at all what I was getting at. You're the only one who seems to get it. There's a whole level of perception they have and we don't. We don't even know what it is to feel it. Talking with them and "having an open mind" won't ever truly give you the natural NT sensory perception.

Explain a rainbow to a blind man all you want...he might think he gets it, but if all he's ever seen if blackness his whole life, words like red and blue and green are utterly meaningless...even though these words do have meaning for the majority of people (as most people can see).

Perhaps I'll start another thread (this one wasn't "mine" to begin with) or you can PM me. Thank you for at least comprehending my point.

The idea that there are fundamental, irreconcilable differences between NTs and NDs is belied by the fact that autism is not an absolute state but a spectrum on which everybody sits regardless of his neurotype.

^ Good point.

Look man, I'll keep with the blindness analogy. Maybe one blind man sees total blackness, another can kind of see a slightly lighter shade of dark when standing in sunlight, but it's still solid nothingness. Both are on the blind end of the spectrum regardless of where they fall on that side of the line. Maybe you have 20/20 vision and your friend needs glasses to see better. You're still on the sighted side of the spectrum. There are indeed differences.

The same holds true with AS vs NT...regardless of spectrum. A line exists somewhere.

The phrase "we'll have to agree to disgree" means "I don't want to argue with you about it." Sandpiper has told you that twice, but you've ignored it and continued to argue. Personally I don't think I fully comprehend the point you've been trying to make. Your writing style isn't of the type I can readily follow, I don't know whether that's down to my need for extreme clarity or whether it's just that your argument doesn't ultimately make sense. But the main thing is, when a person says they don't want to argue, it rarely does any good to keep on trying to argue with them. I don't want to argue with you either.

I think this thread is trying to say that all ASD people are selfish and ignorant because of our replies. But the title is what it says: "Having Little To Nothing In Common With Neurotypicals", with a couple of brief sentences in the OP. Plus the OP asked if anyone else feels this way, to which some of us replied that they individually do have some things or a lot of things in common with NTs. But apparently that is the wrong answer, and according to the OP we are all selfish just because we replied about our experiences on what we share with NTs and what we don't, as individuals.

There are significant differences, but the difference is one of degree rather than kind. Unless you can point out what particular quality is wholly lacking in the autistic population; if it's primarily social skills (for example), then there is a social quotient on the analogy of an intelligence quotient. Nobody scores zero on an IQ test other than a dead man, though obviously some score lower than others.

Last edited by Prometheus18 on 30 Dec 2018, 12:53 pm, edited 2 times in total.