Son swore at me and nt wife told me how it was my fault.

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Fnord,
I understand what you're saying, but other than telling me what I do wrong, she's a good wife who takes care of the kids and helps me out. We have fun together and have been together for almost 30 years. It just seems like she has zero empathy for my condition. I feel like I'm going crazy.

I agree with you. It is frustrating when people here side with the NT. In my post here I didn't bring ASD into it, just the old-fashioned "mother-son, father-daughter" thing. But really, your wife should have said, "don't swear at your father!" Parents yell at their kids all the time, no matter what tone you speak to them in, that still doesn't give them the excuse to swear at you.

Playing Devil's Advocate:

Why didn't you let your son finish explaining? And when you interrupted him, what did you say? Before he cursed you out, what tone was he using and what tone were you using?

It's hard to determine if the wife is simply taking the son's side or if the OP's behavior was so dramatically out of place that the son started swearing and the wife was appalled at the OP.

You may be right, OP. It may not be on your end at all. But then again, it might be. Hard to tell without a little more detail.