Fake it till you make it and Positive Attitude

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I guess that is true.

Yep...one has to find an alternative path vis-a-vis the Conventional—if the Conventional doesn’t work.

The Conventional never worked for me, even if it was shoved down my throat. I was a square peg seeing many round holes.

Therefore, I had to succeed through “seeing openings,” and showing off my skills rather than my social abilities.

When I started working, I was shy and didn’t speak to anybody. People thought I was all right, though, because I followed seemingly “superfluous” social mores like saying hello, and saying “fine” when asked how I was doing.

One lady decided to try to get me to “open up.” She was a very rude and rough lady—but she saw someone who needed a little boost. She trusted me, and knew I wouldn’t snap at her if she tried to help. So she felt it worthwhile to give me advice.

Not following simple, seemingly superfluous social rituals instills fear into people. People are always skeptical in a working environment—not being superficially “social” only heightens the skepticism.

This is why following irritating social rituals could mean survival in the workplace, and increased tolerance for “oddball” tendencies. It could mean the difference between keeping and losing a job.

This presumes that one is capable to find out what works for me especially without major support, guidance, and detailed instruction.

Just keep it simple and experiment with what makes you happy. Don't you want to be happy? Forgive me for asking but why can't you believe that you deserve happiness? You need to reset your brain to new expectations that are tailor- made for you.

What I wish is to create a better life not just for myself but for all autistics. And, begging for acceptance from others especially the corporate world will not work. And, fitting in and conforming and contorting ourselves from square pegs to round holes does not work either. And, besides what are we conforming to. Who are we begging acceptance from? This is the policy of ASAN and other autism orgs including parent centered ones. Either acceptance begging or conforming. Has either worked for the autism community? And, how has both views impacted our mental and physical health.

What I want is for those like us to live our lives for our own sakes not everyone elses. As long as we're reduced to either begging for acceptance of conforming we can't do this. We can't do the things that are in our best interest and good for us and reject the things that are not in our best interests and are bad for us even if they're not bad for NTs. For us to be able to say No to differing things we have to be able to be financial independent of others including employers. I don't want to work for someone who demands things of me I can't do and are harmful for me like eye contact and I don't want to be dependent on social security which can be taken from me at any time.

I wish my parents would've just accepted who I was, never mainstreamed me, saved up some kind of inheritance for me that would be good enough to live on and maybe have other sources of income for me as well. Think about it! If I had this who knows? I would be able to pursue my interests and maybe come up with novel things. I want the autistic community to give a big emphatic no if something is not in our best interest and/or is harmful to us. And, as long as we're dependent and begging like ASAN and other orgs wants us to do we can't do this.

ASAN is like the NAACP begging acceptance from the white man. Acceptance can't come w/o respect. Respect comes from setting boundaries. We can't set boundaries with those whom we're dependent on. This is I wish parents would forget the mainstreaming and make it to where their children can say no even to them.

Are there any steps that you can take to ensure that you don't lose your social benefits? That seems to be the highest priority just now.

Please understand that many parents just cannot “save up for an inheritance.” It would be nice.

And there are opportunities for jobs outside the “corporate world.” I am outside the “corporate world.” I work in criminal justice.

Yes, it's the ability to be flexible that is our key to survival. If one thing doesn't work then let it go and try something else.

Cube perhaps save your programming for a hobby and find a less demanding job to fill your days productively in a different field. Working just enough hours to protect your disability benefits. A routine that takes you out of the incessant ruminating about things that exhausts so much.

1. What do you do for work?

2. Maybe, maybe not but I think this entails further questioning. What if the child is extremely low functioning. What then? What happens with them? Point is, shouldn't parents be preparing for the worst case scenario before having children. It makes no sense to date, get into a romantic relationship and have children before both parties are emotionally and financially ready to have children and save up especially the worst case. And, wouldn't the smart thing is for each generation to make sure the next generation is a bit better off? How does the current model that our society is going by make sense at all?

3. Even outside of corporate work like in government jobs certain things apply as they do in the corporate world. The question we as autistics should ask is there a way we can be in a position to be able to say no and we're shielded from certain negative consequences? Begging and Conforming does not work for some of us.

Maybe what I'm asking for is simply a pipe dream. If it is, I'll accept that. Still though, it makes no sense that those who are lower functioning are exempted from being flexible, trying, contorting, conforming, etc yet those who the NTs consider higher functioning per their standards are not and all kinds of standards are placed upon folks making square pegs fit into round holes.

Where would we be today if people stopped persuing their dreams?
Perhaps you can work at something less demanding while pioneering for autistic programmers in your spare time. One step at a time. You don't need the answer to every scenario that could occur before you start. Calm your overactive brain and take small steps. Not everything must be perfect.

In the movies which heroes do you admire most, those who sit and feel sorry for themselves or those who get up, dust themselves off and have another go at it?

Autism is an enigma to me. It is difficult for me to process how someone on the spectrum functions. I see physically fit, (one friend of mine won a sports scholarship) highly intelligent people who struggle to manouver their way through the routine of the day. How can I comprehend the internal struggle that is endemic to autistic people? Add on OCD, ADHD, PTSD and other comorbidities to this.

People don't have a clue what you deal with, it's impossible for them to put themseves in your place. I know a good looking, brilliant and talented, physically fit young man on the spectrum who banged his head on a wall repeatedly and came to my lesson bleeding and injured because the bus didn't stop where he thought it would. It is beyond my comprehension. I could feel his intense anguish to a degree but I don't have a clue how he feels, what would trigger such an episode or how to help him. I just sat and waited for him to calm down then cleaned his wounds and bandaged him. How can a bus not stopping bring a person to almost kill himself?
There need to be more Ted Talks from Aspies, there should be Aspies speaking in classrooms and work environments. People have no idea that Aspies have such difficulties.

My prediction:

Well, let's think about this. What makes up the system today? People interacting with each other in an exchange of goods, services, etc. If good percentage people came to believe they could not function within the system or pursue their dreams the system would collapse? If more and more people come to believe they couldn't achieve the american dream the system would collapse. Unless, they're extremely short sighted the elites and one percenters are not going to let that happen not out of the kindness of their hearts but to preserve the system and maintain their money and power.

The elites will offer all kinds of incentives to people including autistics especially if autistic people are the first in a series of dominoes to trigger a collapse.




maybe

I work in data entry. Been doing that for 39 years. I've almost been fired a few times---but not within the past 20 some odd years. People think of me as an oddball, and pretty much ignore my eccentricities. They know I'm a good worker.

My second job is at a library. I have to deal with students at the library. It's a bit difficult at times---but I manage.

That's great! Well done you!

I was in the "right place at the right time" for both jobs.

I have a strong "lazy streak." Fortunately, it didn't manifest itself too much when I went for the interview for the first job. I was tempted to not go to the interview because of laziness and anxiety---but I went, anyway.