Officially NOT Autistic

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What is AQ? Is it that online test which gives a score out of 50? Is the only test I have tried, and I habe tried it twice. First a couple of years ago when I was dating a lady with asperges and I had a boarderline mark (And some questions I said "No" to as I didn't know what the terms mean), and the second time was just before joining this site when I learnt what the terms meant. I scored either 32 or 34 the first time and 41 the second time, which I thought can't be right? As I don't have any big issues... So I don't think the test I did was intended to be anything more then a rough guide. (So I probably think I am the asperges side of being boarderline, or I am an NT with many traits. That would be my rough guess. Anyone placing bets? Hahaha!).
I am actually interested in how the assessment is made etc, but I dare not look into it because I do not want to influence my assessment results in any way. It is like I am scared incase I am classed as being on the spectrum if I am not, and also scared incase I am classed as being an NT when I am on the spectrum if you get what I mean...

Yes, it's that test.
Taking it online is not supposed to diagnose you but its score is used in clinical applications. It can give you the general idea of, say, probablity of being autistic.

My experience with misdiagnosis made me doubt diagnoses if they don't match my experiences, no matter how official they were. I used to be where you are now, doubting and wanting some external specialist to tell me what I am, but now it's gone. I learned to know myself what I am and not care much for labels. I am myself. A fairly weird person with considerable AS and HSP traits but not weird enough to apply for disability benefits, at least in this country.

Well this is confusing. Joe90 did pretend play as a kid and was also normal until she started preschool and she still got diagnosed Asperger's. She has anxiety too.

Dan, you could very well have AS traits and it seemed like the doctor was implying it too, but the doctor feels you fit into anxiety better and you are just gifted. It's good you are accepting it than thinking the doctor is an idiot.

Autistic children point, but what is missing is the joint attention or their lack of eye contact. They will point but they don't look at the person to see if they are looking their direction of their finger. Saying this is also selective mutism, is she implying that normal kids don't point?




Not all autistic kids have a language delay.



I also showed my mother things too like if I got an A or if I thought I achieved something. Just like a normal child.

Yes kraftie, I did feel for her when she said at one point "diagnosing autism is hard!" lol. She also made it clear that she spent many hours trying to solve the puzzle and that she actually made a case for my having autism and a case against it but the one against came out stronger. So I wouldn't be surprised if she also thought I had these traits. She was just not happy to give a diagnosis of autism which I understand. I get the feeling she's a very pragmatic, rules based professional who maybe thinks the DSM-IV led to a lot of over diagnosing of ASD? Like she's the type of psychologist who probably did a fist pump when they brought out the DSM-V I trust her judgement though, and her.



Yes, as I said to kraftie above boating, she does seem to have a very strict definition of autism. I think she normally works with kids (it obviously gets picked up a lot earlier these days) and then, mainly with profoundly autistic kids that will need more support. It's possible that because of absolutist definitions people like her will still let some autistics go undiagnosed (especially with the new DSM) but in my case I think the anxiety is a perfect hit where autism was kind of 50/50? But yes, I will be reading the report very carefully. And even though our business is now concluded she assured me that I can stay in touch and even send my long winded, detailed emails to her which she seems to like poring over lol. So if there are any issues down the line where I do disagree she's openly told me to let her know or even seek a second opinion.



Exactly extreme, the selective mutism seems common with autism but only because anxiety is also common with autism lol. Mine was so bad I also had physical freezing (I could walk but refused to do it in front of people but Mum or one of my sisters would walk in a room unexpectedly and just catch me toddling around doing my own thing haha, but when I saw them I'd drop to the ground and act shy). And for me, an autism diagnosis probably would have been an excuse. I've always felt impaired in some way even though everyone told me I was smart. I wanted a reason to say "see? I wasn't lazy, this is why I struggled in school!" But now that a professional has told me that's not likely I feel I have better self clarity. She even explained how high anxiety/giftedness can also produce poor academic results. So I still got a little understanding of my self even without an autism DX. Now I just have to try to understand and utilise my abilities better. Easy! ...



This is a great point Mountain Goat. I could be wrong but I think the distinction is age and mannerism. Meaning that quite young austistics (toddlers to maybe preschool age?) don't think to physically share interests or achievements with others but by the time they reach primary/elementary school age they become the classic "little professors they love to verbally express and profess their interests. So to my specialist, a non inclination to physical gestures but later an inclination towards verbal oversharing is classic autism. I was kind of opposite in both cases. I would run and show my Mum novel creations I'd made from my lego box but when I got older my interests (ancient Egpyt, dinosaurs, outer space) were very private, not intentionally so I just enjoyed learning quietly alone.

Magz, that is horrible. Getting misdiagnosed with schizophrenia! My younger brother is schizophrenic and I know the process of doctors experimenting with dosage and drug types is ghastly. If I was in your position I would be hesitant about any more testing, diagnostics as well.


Thanks League Girl. I think her having two masters degrees in psychology is probably justification enough to trust her judgement But besides that she really managed to gain my trust which probably isn't very easy. I loved when she gave me the report yesterday and just outright said "I don't know how you feel" because I must have been masking with a flat affect. God I wish other people would do that so then I just explain how I feel instead of probably thinking "What the hell? This guy is a freak/robot/psycho" etc.


Maybe I can clarify League. My Mum explained to her over a phone interview how I selectively wouldn't talk to most other people including my Dad. So when I wanted juice in my bottle for example I would just point at the shelf where the juice was kept. So she's saying it was my way around being non verbal and showed the presence of Theory of Mind I guess? Whereas from what you're saying autistic kids might point but they don't show an understanding that they are communicating with another sentience, they are merely using pointing as a kind of "tool" to enact a chain of events to get what they want. That's kind of how she explained it to me.
And thank you for pointing out these examples of pointing and talking at a normal age etc. Once she emails me the report and I've read it I might raise these as questions with her so thanks again everyone

It does not neccessarily matter what the label you have. Has the diagnosis helped? Is there help available in your circumstance if you need it?

(It is excellent that the lady is open to communication etc.).

Hmm, I'm not sure if I can say it's helped yet because I guess I'll need to take some time to adjust but I'm pretty certain it's for the best. One thing I can do is start looking at the experiences of other people similar to me ("your clan" as she put it ). If I find I can relate to their stories as much as or even more than I've related to people with ASDs on WP that will be amazing. Then I can maybe use their experiences and advice to relate it back to my situation. I guess that's how I typically do things. I absorb external information then try to solve problems alone.

So there are others who have the same you can meet to ask advice from?

Well I've started by searching circumstances similar to mine here on WP. Makes sense to start here before searching the whole web for people with a similar story (ie I'm being lazy hehe). I went to the home page and typed in things like "High IQ and anxiety". I've already found some threads describing my exact situation, people that got anxiety diagnoses rather than an ASD! So far so good

Is there doctors help if needed?

I was referred to this specialist for autism assessment from my regular psychologist (they are colleagues). So now that the assessment process is complete I can attend regular sessions again with my original therapist. The specialist will forward my report to her with some suggested treatments but that mostly relates to anxiety (exposure therapy, CBT, work on strengthening my sense of identity and some other things but I can't remember everything she said).
All of that will be great but what I feel I also need is basically something like career guidance. I want to actually test myself now and see if that IQ test is worth a damn thing (I've been sceptical of psychometrics in the past, especially when misused by racists and sexists).

You might want to get a second opinion, if you can afford it. What you describe below sounds more than a little out-of-date.


A lack of language delay should NOT disqualify you from what used to be called "Asperger's syndrome," which by definition did NOT include a delay in acquiring language. And a language delay is NOT part of the current definition of ASD. See the diagnostic criteria here.


The question should be whether your social anxiety is due to bad experiences caused by a lifelong innate neurological difference or just due to bad experiences having nothing to do with any innate neurological difference. In the latter case, it would be a whole lot easier to fix, with social skills training and practice.


Was her evaluation of your "imagination" based primarily on testing or on your life history?

The idea that autistic people lack imagination is out-of-date. Autistic people tend to fail tests of imagination, but only because the tested kinds of imagination are too spontaneous and out-of-the-blue. But we can be very imaginative when given enough time to think.


Was there any discussion at all about sensory issues? Multitasking and other attention control issues? Other executive functioning issues? Unusual habits and routines?

Well with my diagnoses, they found I did not quite fit the autism spectrum disorder exactly. SO they instead diagnosed me with Developmental Disorder NOS, which essentially means a developmental disorder (not otherwise identified) but as close as they can see it's simular to autism so that is the closest thing to call it, but it might not be 100% accurate.

At the very least I have an official diagnoses of having some form of developmental disability along with depression, anxiety and PTSD, though from how I feel I think the PTSD is in remission so not really an active concern right now.

What's "Developmental Disorder NOS"? Do you mean "pervasive developmental disorder NOS" (PDD-NOS)? That was part of the autism spectrum under DSM IV; it was just not quite the same thing as what was then called "autistic disorder."

Oh yeah that is what it was pervasive developmental disorder NOS, maybe they do consider it aspergers...but I think I recall they could not give me the ASD diagnoses because they had determined it was the PDD NOS.

I mean either way I was able to get on disability which was my main reason for getting a diagnoses. Still not really sure how PDD NOS is different from aspergers or ASD, but I know that is what is actually on my medical records.

I also got this result one time I was tested for some cognitive abilities but they didn't tell me what it meant (having way above average processing speed). I am guessing it means I might be (a little bit) gifted.

I am currently trying to undergo an ASD evaluation, as well. Exactly because I want to know myself in that way better. It doesn't matter if I get an ASD diagnosis or not but at least I would know why I feel the way I do.

My psychologist tells me I might just have had life-long anxiety since I was a toddler. But she is also not qualified to diagnose ASD which is why I'm going for this evaluation separately.

However, I'm confused about your evaluation mentioning that you need speech delay. Asperger's doesn't include speech delay. Also the fact that your diagnostician is specialized on children is important to know because the way it presents in children and the way it manifests in adults is different.