Do you feel like a piece of u is missing because of Aspegers

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I feel like many NTs has pieces missing from them, especially their brains. I don't feel like anything is missing from myself at all.

I mean no disrespect to any poster here but I'm so tired of hearing "I don't know if I have it". Asperger's is a bunch of symptoms in all different degrees super-imposed by personality and upbringing. The way they say "it" is almost like saying, "I'm not sure if I have leprosy." It's just disgusting as if there are no problems with the NT world whatsoever.
Look at Hollywood - the most social people of all - look what they go through - look what they do to themselves - pedopilia, drug addiction, alcohol addiction, NAMBLA, orgies, unhappiness, suicide at parties, suicide at home. What about all that?? What so horrible about Asperger's? So what? People here should stop beating themselves up. If you want fond memories, do charity and reflect on who you helped.

DITTO!! !! !

Well, if we aspies get the hell up off our asses and stop being depressed over lack of invites and just make the best of our gifts whether they be savant or not, maybe we can take control of "our" part of the world and make it comfortable for ourselves.

Good!! The part missing in them is the fact that they would tell you that.

Maybe I should retract my earlier statement. The wiring of my brain does make me feel frustrated when I'm not doing things I should reasonably be expected to do. I also believe I missed out on a lot of learning that would have helped to make important connections in my brain and move forward.

Asperger's is horrible in many ways. I've got lots of fond memories, a loving family and a job I love, but that still doesn't make me hate having Asperger's any less. If I was more intelligent and able to focus on intelligent things like memorizing facts and hyperfocusing on something that could make me successful, and naturally didn't want friends or be associated with neurotypicals, then maybe Asperger's would be easier to accept. But sadly not everyone on the spectrum are like that. Some of us struggle, have co-morbids such as anxiety disorder and ADHD, and Asperger's feels more like a disability or disadvantage, not to mention an understood one.

Yes people with downs syndrome get misunderstood too, normally being treated like they're stupid or ret*d. But some of us autistics have that treatment too - plus the lack of empathy thing being took so literally by the public and people starting to believe that us high-functioners are angry loners capable of murdering without remorse. I don't want to be in that category. It makes me uncomfortable, ashamed and worried about my future.

Also Asperger's is the reason I've been socially isolated in childhood, and all the social rejection I suffered still hurts to this day and makes me reluctant to get too close to NT women in case they accuse me of "intruding". But at the same time I so badly want to fit in and belong, especially at work. But Asperger's denies me these things that most NTs take for granted.

Also going out in public is a challenge because I just hate being judged but I feel like people judge me when I'm in public. They stare and I've even been laughed at before. I shouldn't be that noticed with my good abilities to mask, dress presentably, maintain normal gait, not stim, and just conform to their standards. So if it's "invisible vibes" that I give off that makes people stare mindlessly, then that's where I feel helpless. I can definitely know how people with facial deformities feel. Some don't even like leaving the house. I feel like that, except I don't have facial deformities. I just have this f*****g annoying vibe that I cannot fight.

Many Aspies take drugs or drink their lives away to deal with their pain. Luckily I haven't taken that path. I do have an addiction of coming here and getting things off my chest, which is much better than abusing your body. But even then I still get the impression from some here that coming on an autism forum to express myself is wrong.

Interesting.

For me, it gives as much as it takes.

What's sad is simply that the system doesn't allow me to make use of my talents within the capitalist framework. Because jobs require interviews and I lack the skill to do them well. Self employment requires advertising skills and same.

But I don't think an NT who'd been drawing for as little time as I've been drawing would be able to have the patience/attention to detail to draw the picture I'm drawing right now. I don't think they'd be as good at cataloguing books etc.

They'd be better at social things, sure, but social things aren't everything.

Yes and no. (Ambiguous.)

Yes, because I missed some parts of the "normal human experience." I'm sure shortfatbalduglyman would say that we don't have a right to a "normal human experience" because it's different for different people, which is correct.

No, because I wouldn't be me without it. With Aspergers' even though it is a disorder, it makes me fit into a niche in the world where I can fit, belong, exist. It makes me able to enjoy worlds of literature, history, philosophy, the beauties of nature and of people, without getting too worked up over popularity and such.

It's not easy but I wouldn't reverse it if there was a choice.

I was going to say something along those lines. I was afraid to do so.

Sometimes I feel that some NTs are missing a heart. They think that they have all the empathy in the world. If that's the case, they sure have a funny way of showing it.

This is why we need Autistic-friendly workplaces where, among other things, the hiring process would put more emphasis on tests of skill than on an interview.

Have you tried to make friends with any local autistic women? Have you looked into any in-person support groups, and/or have you met in person with anyone from the UK here on WP?

It might be easier for you to make friends with autistic women than with NT women, although making friends among autistic people is likely to happen more slowly than the ways that NT's make friends with each other.


What kind of neighborhood do you live in? Do you live in a neighborhood with just one dominant ethnic group?

If so, I would suggest moving to a neighborhood where there are lots of immigrants from many different cultures all over the world. You won't "fit in" there, either, because there's nothing to fit in to, but the people there are likely to be much friendlier overall, less likely to look down on you, and you won't be an outcast.


I'm sorry you get that impression. We don't all agree with each other here, but I think the moderation policies here are good overall, and it seems to me that people with many different points of view are welcome here.

Anyhow, to answer the original question: No, I don't feel like I have a missing piece. Partly this is because I'm one of the relatively lucky ones for whom autism comes with abilities as well as disabilities. Also I've had a lifelong strategy of seeking out fellow oddballs rather than trying to fit in with the mainstream.

In terms of what's considered "normal, " I probably do have a few missing pieces. But from my perspective, most NT people also have some missing pieces, and that's what often makes dealing with them so frustrating.