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Missing my childhood.

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BenderRodriguez
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19 Jul 2019, 9:32 am

^
Good for you!

My life actually improved significantly after my mid-30s, I'm happy to stay right where I am too :)


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Olivia_H
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19 Jul 2019, 9:39 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I'd do almost anything to relive my childhood: not school, but everything else.


School, or at least high school, was the worst part of my childhood. After the age of 13 it was all downhill. I could get away with poor grades and not understanding *literally anything* up until that point, but after 13 is when they started saying that "these exams are important for your future!" and things like that, which sucked because I didn't have a clue what was going on or what the teacher was even asking me to do. I lived for the moment the bell rang and I could go home and play video games and watch dinosaur documentaries.



MagicMeerkat
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19 Jul 2019, 10:14 am

BenderRodriguez wrote:
There's literally nothing you could offer me to go back to being a child. Or under 30 for that matter :twisted:


Same here. I wasn't allowed to do anything because my mother assumed "autistic" meant "low functioning, ret*d invalid". I couldn't even do normal kid activities such as summer camp or horseback riding lessons unless it was "special needs" specific. Not autism or Asperger's, just generalized special needs. Most of the kids at the camp were in wheelchairs or had some sort of physical disability.


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BenderRodriguez
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19 Jul 2019, 10:17 am

MagicMeerkat wrote:
BenderRodriguez wrote:
There's literally nothing you could offer me to go back to being a child. Or under 30 for that matter :twisted:


Same here. I wasn't allowed to do anything because my mother assumed "autistic" meant "low functioning, ret*d invalid". I couldn't even do normal kid activities such as summer camp or horseback riding lessons unless it was "special needs" specific. Not autism or Asperger's, just generalized special needs. Most of the kids at the camp were in wheelchairs or had some sort of physical disability.


Feels good to be finally free, doesn't it? :)


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JD12345
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21 Jul 2019, 4:24 am

Olivia_H wrote:
I've found myself missing being a child a lot lately. I know a lot of other autistic folk say that they hated their childhood because they were always confused and things were very tough for them, and I agree, I also struggled with confusion pretty much all the time and nothing ever really made sense to me. I struggled academically due to dyslexia, ADD and being somewhat developmentally delayed.
However...I used to be able to come home from school and immerse myself in video games, specifically fantasy MMORPGs. I'd have this sense of wonderment and awe whilst I embarked on virtual adventures, I rarely made friends but I felt like I was on an even playing field with other users.
Now, I'm an adult and I still struggle, in fact I struggle more now than I did as a child. My OCD, anxiety, and all the other struggles I faced as a child are still there and more, only now I can't escape into a video game because I've totally lost that childlike sense of wonderment and it feels futile. I don't enjoy it as much as I used to, not even about 10% as much as I used to. I miss enjoying things like I used to.
My OCD pretty much removed the passion I had for my "special interests" (I hate that term, It feels so condescending) so I don't have those anymore.

Anyone else feel a similar way?


Much of this is familiar to my own situation. My reading skills in particular have been harmed; I don't know for sure if it's OCD because it hasn't been diagnosed, but I used to be able read books for hours at a time. Now I can only read in spurts of a few minutes, and often have to re-read words, sentences and paragraphs to make sure that I've fully digested them.



CockneyRebel
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21 Jul 2019, 10:44 am

I hated my childhood and teen years. It was a constant struggle to hide my gender identity and my love for Germany from my family and my peers.


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Mountain Goat
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21 Jul 2019, 12:12 pm

I don't miss the school bit, but I do miss the rest.


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