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My parents want me to be in a group home or something

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ConverseFan
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07 Aug 2019, 8:58 pm

Fireblossom wrote:
I don't think people will judge you about having a caretaker any more than they would about living with your parents in a few years. If you lived in a group home, you could always say that you have lots of roommates or that you live in a dorm, but living with parents is living with parents. Depends on the culture of course, but I've heard that an adult living with their parents doesn't look good in USA either.
Also, I would recommend learning basic living skills (can you cook? How well can you clean?
Can you do grocery shopping?) now rather than later; it'll make moving out easier when it's time since there won't be so many new things to learn.


Yeah. I just feel scared to leave home. I honestly also wish that I didn't need to go to a group home. My cousin who is my age is going to be fully independent next year. I have a hard time with cooking. I like to clean. I have a hard time with the vacuum due to sensory issues. I wear headphones for that though. I do have a hard time starting tasks though. I don't know how to start or finish tasks sometimes. I can go grocery shopping with some support because I struggle with math and social situations. I struggle with budgeting. I also get sensory overload and I sometimes struggle to ask for help or with talking to people in general.



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08 Aug 2019, 8:22 am

ConverseFan wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
I don't think people will judge you about having a caretaker any more than they would about living with your parents in a few years. If you lived in a group home, you could always say that you have lots of roommates or that you live in a dorm, but living with parents is living with parents. Depends on the culture of course, but I've heard that an adult living with their parents doesn't look good in USA either.
Also, I would recommend learning basic living skills (can you cook? How well can you clean?
Can you do grocery shopping?) now rather than later; it'll make moving out easier when it's time since there won't be so many new things to learn.


Yeah. I just feel scared to leave home. I honestly also wish that I didn't need to go to a group home. My cousin who is my age is going to be fully independent next year. I have a hard time with cooking. I like to clean. I have a hard time with the vacuum due to sensory issues. I wear headphones for that though. I do have a hard time starting tasks though. I don't know how to start or finish tasks sometimes. I can go grocery shopping with some support because I struggle with math and social situations. I struggle with budgeting. I also get sensory overload and I sometimes struggle to ask for help or with talking to people in general.


I am also 18 almost 19. I also have a cousin my age so I probably know how you feel. It is not easy to see how things have gone for him compared to me because of my autism.



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08 Aug 2019, 9:09 am

I live in California, and the group home concept seems very depressing to me. I see people with disabilities being herded into the library where I work. There are people confined to wheelchairs trapped in their bodies and screaming in pain they can't understand. The higher functioning ones, who could probably benefit from the company of typical adults, see only other people with disabilities and their caregivers. Autism groups and other support groups seem only to be misery sharing groups here.

All in all, it seems pretty bleak.



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08 Aug 2019, 9:35 am

EzraS wrote:
ConverseFan wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
I don't think people will judge you about having a caretaker any more than they would about living with your parents in a few years. If you lived in a group home, you could always say that you have lots of roommates or that you live in a dorm, but living with parents is living with parents. Depends on the culture of course, but I've heard that an adult living with their parents doesn't look good in USA either.
Also, I would recommend learning basic living skills (can you cook? How well can you clean?
Can you do grocery shopping?) now rather than later; it'll make moving out easier when it's time since there won't be so many new things to learn.


Yeah. I just feel scared to leave home. I honestly also wish that I didn't need to go to a group home. My cousin who is my age is going to be fully independent next year. I have a hard time with cooking. I like to clean. I have a hard time with the vacuum due to sensory issues. I wear headphones for that though. I do have a hard time starting tasks though. I don't know how to start or finish tasks sometimes. I can go grocery shopping with some support because I struggle with math and social situations. I struggle with budgeting. I also get sensory overload and I sometimes struggle to ask for help or with talking to people in general.


I am also 18 almost 19. I also have a cousin my age so I probably know how you feel. It is not easy to see how things have gone for him compared to me because of my autism.

I have three younger sisters in their twenties and I feel the same way about them compared to me.



ConverseFan
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08 Aug 2019, 10:14 am

livingwithautism wrote:
EzraS wrote:
ConverseFan wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
I don't think people will judge you about having a caretaker any more than they would about living with your parents in a few years. If you lived in a group home, you could always say that you have lots of roommates or that you live in a dorm, but living with parents is living with parents. Depends on the culture of course, but I've heard that an adult living with their parents doesn't look good in USA either.
Also, I would recommend learning basic living skills (can you cook? How well can you clean?
Can you do grocery shopping?) now rather than later; it'll make moving out easier when it's time since there won't be so many new things to learn.


Yeah. I just feel scared to leave home. I honestly also wish that I didn't need to go to a group home. My cousin who is my age is going to be fully independent next year. I have a hard time with cooking. I like to clean. I have a hard time with the vacuum due to sensory issues. I wear headphones for that though. I do have a hard time starting tasks though. I don't know how to start or finish tasks sometimes. I can go grocery shopping with some support because I struggle with math and social situations. I struggle with budgeting. I also get sensory overload and I sometimes struggle to ask for help or with talking to people in general.


I am also 18 almost 19. I also have a cousin my age so I probably know how you feel. It is not easy to see how things have gone for him compared to me because of my autism.

I have three younger sisters in their twenties and I feel the same way about them compared to me.


I also have a younger sister who is much more independent than I am. My parents let her do more. They don't seem to trust me for some reason



livingwithautism
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08 Aug 2019, 4:52 pm

ConverseFan wrote:
livingwithautism wrote:
EzraS wrote:
ConverseFan wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
I don't think people will judge you about having a caretaker any more than they would about living with your parents in a few years. If you lived in a group home, you could always say that you have lots of roommates or that you live in a dorm, but living with parents is living with parents. Depends on the culture of course, but I've heard that an adult living with their parents doesn't look good in USA either.
Also, I would recommend learning basic living skills (can you cook? How well can you clean?
Can you do grocery shopping?) now rather than later; it'll make moving out easier when it's time since there won't be so many new things to learn.


Yeah. I just feel scared to leave home. I honestly also wish that I didn't need to go to a group home. My cousin who is my age is going to be fully independent next year. I have a hard time with cooking. I like to clean. I have a hard time with the vacuum due to sensory issues. I wear headphones for that though. I do have a hard time starting tasks though. I don't know how to start or finish tasks sometimes. I can go grocery shopping with some support because I struggle with math and social situations. I struggle with budgeting. I also get sensory overload and I sometimes struggle to ask for help or with talking to people in general.


I am also 18 almost 19. I also have a cousin my age so I probably know how you feel. It is not easy to see how things have gone for him compared to me because of my autism.

I have three younger sisters in their twenties and I feel the same way about them compared to me.


I also have a younger sister who is much more independent than I am. My parents let her do more. They don't seem to trust me for some reason

My parents don't trust me either. They may have good reason for it in my case.



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08 Aug 2019, 5:30 pm

Most people with disabilities can do more than their parents think they can do.

So many household tasks can be done automatically.

Many people shop for groceries online and have the food delivered. Many people live on frozen dinners and sandwiches. Banks and some companies can help you manage your money. And these are "regular" people, not just people with disabilities.

The quality of group homes varies. Some are horrible. Others are good or even great.


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11 Aug 2019, 6:22 pm

madbutnotmad wrote:
Hello. I am afraid i am unable to give you any advice from experience, as I am high functioning and never needed support to live independently.

I know a few people who do have support, who appear to be fairly happy.
I can not answer for them however.

I was wondering if you had considered the sweet water spectrum housing development.
Although that development is in CA, perhaps that is too far for you to travel to live.
Although from the pictures and reviews it does look like a well designed place with a good
ethic and understanding of autism.

Perhaps one option worth considering if you are a US national?
i am not sure if there are any restrictions, but sure looks like a place that is very autism friendly, as well
as considerate to people's individuals needs.

sweet water spectrum housing


Is this a group home?



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11 Aug 2019, 6:27 pm

blazingstar wrote:
Most people with disabilities can do more than their parents think they can do.

So many household tasks can be done automatically.

Many people shop for groceries online and have the food delivered. Many people live on frozen dinners and sandwiches. Banks and some companies can help you manage your money. And these are "regular" people, not just people with disabilities.

The quality of group homes varies. Some are horrible. Others are good or even great.



My grandmother probably think I can’t fully take care of myself, I think it’s because I lived with my mom for 37 years.