Thoughts on heartlessaspergers.com?

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I think the women on that site are deeply emotionally and/or mentally disturbed and many have admitted having unhealthy romantic relationships prior to meeting their "Aspie" (yes, I've read a lot of the postings). Their viewpoints and how they express them are overblown, but similar to Olivia I believe there are legit things to complain about. My brother is a dear, sweet, sensitive Aspie. My grandfather a was cold, exacting, unloving, critical Aspie. (I always thought, growing up, that I could never pls him and that he didn't like me. I only recently was told by an uncle that Grandpa never liked kids, even his own, so my attempt were fruitless). My grandfather is the type these women are talking about.

Has anyone from WP tried to contact heartlessasspergers to at least discuss the inaccuracies in what they've written on their website? I feel like if they spoke to a bunch of autistics who weren't the partners who treated them poorly they'd get a better understanding of the condition.

It's a double standard that many websites labeled as hate sites, hate speech, etc are dealt with but the HLA site isn't regarded as such.

1. She repeats herself over as though she's trying to drum it into everybody's heads that all autistics are heartless people

2. She blows the "lack of empathy" BS out of proportion

3. It is the angriest site I have ever read

4. She is putting neurotypicals off dating us which can make us feel like we're undatable

5. She makes it sound like the neurotypical is the victim and the Aspie is the heartless monster

6. It is a load of f*****g stereotypical s**t and is not supportive or helpful at all

7. It is very one-sided, as if to be saying "the neurotypical is never in the wrong, the Aspie will always be wrong"

8. It sounds more like a hate site, bashing all autistics and giving us a bad name

I could go on forever here. I just think it is offensive. And NTs can do heartless things to their spouse too, like lying and cheating. It goes on all the time. I wish she will get that into her thick head, educate herself more on autism, and understand that autistics do have feelings.

My ex-wife goes around describing me in terms similar to those used by women posting on HLA. She is both narcissistic and bipolar.

My current wife goes around describing me in terms similar to those expressed by Elizabeth Barret Browning in her sonnets. She is a pastor and a Filipina.

Same Aspie. Two different women. Two opposing opinions.

Meh ... go figure ...

Few people here can express things as well as Fnord can.

That site is full of biased and inaccurate stereotyping and people stumbling across it by accident during a search might think it's medically sound, which it isn't. So we need to raise our profile so that people can see that many of us are in fact more empathetic rather than less so. My own research confirms this! Other co-morbidities are not taken into account there.

My wife, unfortunately, indulges in that sort of superficiality.

If you ask her what I do that's problematic, she can rattle off a bunch of stuff.

If you ask her why I do them, the answer is functionally indistinguishable from "the autism makes him more-or-less a bad person".

What's missing is any acknowledgement that I'm doing it all myself in an environment that doesn't always suit me. My only accommodations are the ones I craft for myself e.g. phone reminders

My main complaint is that, by refusing deeper understanding even when I try to explain, she indulges in victim blaming, and in the interaction between us, the impact of my traits on our relationship is worsened by that degraded mutual understanding.