Would you leave your partner in the ER even if they told you

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Yes. But that's us and our particular bluntness, practicality, history together, and not having any qualms asking for what we want. It's quite likely that I would be told to go home, fold the washing, feed the cat, and pack an overnight bag for them, for instance - we both know that ER medical personnel would be far more qualified and equipped to address any complications or issues which might arise before I could get back.

As an aside, I highly recommend a support person or patient advocate. Especially for an ASD (or undiagnosed) person or even for an NT. If the partner cannot be that person, then hopefully there is another. I would like my NT partner to be that person but he is not at this time, so either he gets the know-how or else I would request my ASD-like BFF or ASD-like mom to help out. Ideally the staff would know how to care for an ASD patient: common hypersensitivies, including to medications, behavior... but it's not generally so.

I have yet to read "The Complete Guide to Autism Healthcare", but hope it has ideas on this.

If I had a close enough relationship with someone to call them a partner, I think they'd probably know me well enough to know that I'd take their words at face value. But I would probably ask if they were sure it was all right, and then they'd probably tell me if they were being sarcastic or something.

If she had said no and wanted him there and he still insisted on going to the gym and started whining and grumbling about it, then I would say he was a heartless person and TA. My thoughts change once someone has been direct because how can you be more direct than "I don't want you to leave me here, I want you to be with me" and saying no to the gym?

If he was on the autistic spectrum it would make some sense. One of the attributes of an Aspie is "does not understand the use of gestures or sarcasm (may not understand the subtleties of language, such as irony and humor)"

My wife is NT and many times she says something she doesn't mean. It is sarcastic response. It throws me for a loop almost every time.

He doesn't come across as heartless in the least, just way too desperate to get to the gym! Surely loads of us have come a cropper the same way he has, wondering what we've done wrong. It sounds like a situation that neither of them were prepared for, one that's left them unstuck.

If the bloke is an Aspie, maybe going to the gym is a rigid routine of his and breaking his routine makes him anxious. Some Aspies can't cope with change, even if it's a matter of life and death.

I'm an Aspie but I've never had much trouble with sarcasm. Like when I was about 8 I wanted to draw a picture on my wall, and I demanded about it until my mum yelled, "all right, fine, ruin your wall!" That suddenly made me feel bad for wanting to draw on my wall, so I yelled back, "no!!" And she said again, "go, draw on your wall!" Her sarcasm made it more clear how wrong it was to draw on the walls in my house than what just saying "no you cannot" did. Strange how that works.

I used to have problems with breaking my routines it would cause me anxiety and distress if I didn't do them. Now I am more flexible and I will just work out another time. If he wanted to go home and get his art supplies or get his Nintendo Switch or get his laptop, people in the comments would be saying his computer and games or drawing is more important.

I find it ironic in the comments in the link and on Twitter how heartless everyone is towards the guy but here were are sympathizing with him and I am the heartless one lmao. I am just having a hard time sympathizing with the woman because she told him to just go and said she didn't care.

I bet if any of those commenters had autism or had a love one with it or had a similar condition that makes it hard for them to read people and understand subtle cues, they wouldn't be responding the way they would. They would sympathize and empathize with both people.

Even mental health professionals say communication is very important in relationships and expecting them to read your mind can damage the relationship and destroy it.