skibum wrote:
Yeah. It's tough. Nts are always telling me that I need to adapt to accommodate their needs. But they never feel like they need to adapt to accommodate mine and they get angry if I ask them to do simple things. They are always telling me that I need to understand that they don't understand me and that I need to adapt so that we can get along. What they don't realize is that I am adapting everything about my entire existence every single time I am around them so I have to do that all day every day unless I am alone so that I can be acceptable to them. So it makes it very difficult for me when they refuse to adapt a small thing for me. I can't sustain life this way and I am getting to a point in my life where I am no longer able to sustain it neurologically and physically because of decades constantly having to adapt everything for them and not being allowed to exist as my Authentic self.
The things I am asking of them are not going to shorten their life spans. What they are demanding of me every day of my life is shortening my life span.
1) Do the NTs you are talking about include family members whom you live with, or other housemates? If so, what is your living situation like generally?
2) In my opinion, you need to make some in-person autistic friends, if you have not done so already. Is there an in-person autistic adult support group anywhere near where you live?
3) You're probably pretty much stuck with dealing with NTs on the job, assuming you have a job, but hopefully you can find ways to cut down your contact with the NT world in other aspects of your life. Having autistic friends would likely help with this.
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- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
01 Oct 2019, 6:55 pm
