Rewire the brain- self care

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In the past I turned all the anger inwards, the anger piece for me to work on atm is directing it in a more constructive way.

Agreed. Anger can be used constructively. And it can be used as a special tool. I used anger to fuel my attempts to get out of a horrible place I was in.

This reminds me of the story I heard that gave me an idea? Impression? For my first baby step out.

I met with a canoe designer and builder. We were in his workshop. Behind the door was a photo of a woman in a canoe. It was not a sexy picture at all, bundled up with helmet for whitewater. I asked who she was.

He explained that was a woman he canoed with; that his wife did not permit pictures of her in the house. He told me that every time he goes canoeing with her, his wife goes out and buys something very expensive for herself. I'm sure I'm not remembering this correctly, but my impression was that the last time he went canoeing with the other woman, the wife went out and bought a grand piano.

I know she bought something extremely expensive, but my memory has inserted what I would love to have.

I have no idea whether this story speaks to your condition or not. I am always looking for stories from other lives to help me understand life and how I can navigate through it.

My initial attempts at using anger were quite flawed and I likely hurt some people on the way. It was confusing and distressing, that period. But at least I was attempting to steer my own life.

Anger can be used constructively, yes.

But as a catapult in the form of positive action, rather than in the form of overt anger....in most cases.

^^^^ Exactly. Kortie has once again hit the nail on the head. Thank you!

yes agreed......
Next off, ..., IF PRICE of beans falls so doeth the eastern world.china big consumer of soy . But if you have false cofidence , you might invest in price of soy .. figuring soy will go up in value .?and not consider usa grows huge amounts of soy....uhm.... it sounded revolent while i wrote this , at least.
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The idea is through repition , to oneself , it slowly changes point of veiw .
IMHO this is best when recieved by a mind that still has retained its plasticity.

Digest compliments , but dont be ignorant .of circumstances also , to see value in your worth . This method best used if you start small and work up . If you hae ever done anything that ,( you had learned how to do it), and then done it on your own . You need to take advantage of this, and acknowledge to yourself , HEY
I did that ! . Even verbally outloud . This is not done to ingraciate yourself to anyone but YOU . I mean really simple stuff..start somewhere anywhere.
It is a project you do for yourself . Better than any education you shall ever recieve . You may not believe yourself at first, but dont stop . As you do this with small things, if you overcome other, larger challenges , and still acknowledge yourself , surviving, successfully getting through something.
It will slowly happen in many aspects of your life .
I CAN speak to this firsthand . If you seriously BOTCH something. It is not a bad thing ,it merely is on the road to learning , stuff to avoid . Or negotiate better. Allow yourself the disappointment ,but you made it through it.
DO Not overthink this process , it is a life practice for yourself . If could share my experiences like a mind meld .method or something . You might be able to clearly see my experiences that got me to where i am .
Have had to completely as i could from paralysis . After short coma with , nerve damage . Am not special ! . It was just not undermining myself with bad self talk .And i built on these abilities to survive and recover into most all other aspects of my life . Positive knowledge acknowledgment . Is a biggy .
Simple as , ( i survived yesterday.tomarrow is another ) . (Things always change), not good, not bad, but always change . By using these learnt tools.
To can affect in what direction change can go .
THINK FOR A MOMENT have you ever seen a flower or plant trying to grow out from underneath a rock . To find sunlight . Life is like that on a simple plant level . A million generations later evolution and , then there was humans .
Ten million times more evolved .
But that is our legacy . If you manage to get a wound , body will heal it or try to.
That is just like the plant under a rock . Human basic programming .
《Occassionally messed with by ones own mind.》
Btw beware of surrounding yourself of even neutral ! Or semi supportive
Environment. Just NOT negative .at least when your practicing these things for yourself.
♡ dont even try to share or explain this to anyone,it is a learning , just meant for you (yourself).

No worries marknis, you will die .! But you may choose , how you spend you time in your mind or your Body / Life . Until then .....yes went through cbt 2 X then dbt .. the concept is a nice one . But it is all actually happening as you precieve it. ( SEE OTHER posts in this segment) might help or might not.

OPTIONS: either you will live or you will die , if you die , then its over , no more direct control over the next minute or more .
If you live : then moment to moment , you will direct how to proceed . But the decision is the groundwork to start either way?

BTW : am also very adept at being morose . Just my decision for me
At this very moment. And yes it can be very hard as aspie in this world.