Interacting with family who believe that ASD is fake

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Leon_Trotsky
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04 Nov 2019, 11:24 pm

I was thinking about this first world-third world dichotomy in attitudes between these countries. But there is an argument for classifying certain countries as "fourth world", as in, not only do they have unstable and/or incredibly corrupt governments, but the attitudes towards mental health are even worse than in third world countries. Coming from a mathematics/hard science background, I often need to classify things and then analyse these categories with more scrutiny.

Generally, I would say that third world countries are countries of the West Indies, Central America, most of South America, some ex-Soviet states plus North Africa. So this would include countries like Jamaica, Guyana, Colombia, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Panama, Trinidad, Antigua, Mexico, Brazil, Guatemala, Honduras, Belize, Peru, Paraguay, Ecuador, etc. in the Western Hemisphere. In the Eastern Hemisphere, third world would include Egypt, Libya, Tunisia, Morocco, Algeria, Belarus, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, etc.

Now about fourth world--these countries have an even more warped view of problems like ASD, because they are even poorer than those countries that I listed above, plus they are often heavily religious and/or superstitious, bringing these beliefs into play that highly cloud their judgement about mental health. Not to mention their governments are even more corrupt and more unstable than those third world countries.

In the "fourth world" category, this would include really messed up countries that encompass most of central and sub-Saharan Africa, much of the Middle East, the Indian subcontinent and most of the Orient. So these "fourth world" countries would be India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Ceylon, Philippines, Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Indonesia, Malaysia, Brunei, Afghanistan, Zaire, Congo, Madagascar, Angola, Mozambique, Zimbabwe, Botswana, Nigeria, Côte d'Ivoire, Niger, Mali, Ethiopia, Somalia, Eritrea, Tanganyika, Uganda, Yemen, etc. You get the idea.

Unfortunately, not only do I have family from the class of third world countries, I also have family from the fourth world category. Most of my mother's family are from the third world category, but most of my father's family come from the fourth world category.

I can attest that having to interact with the fourth world relatives is much harder than the third world relatives. My mother's third world relatives do not accept me, but they quietly just leave me be, even though they make random insulting comments and gossip behind my back. But my father's fourth world relatives just really ask me about why I am so weird, why I am single, etc. The comments seem much more poignant and aggressive in tone amongst fourth world relatives than the third world relatives.

Because introversion nor any quirky symptoms of ASD are not regarded as normal in these fourth world countries, being insulted about acting off is more direct and harsh. Not talkative? You are a god-damn deaf-mute. You like to stay by yourself and read instead of dance and talk/joke with family members? You are a lunatic idiot. Bad at dating/attracting women? Oh shite, here come the comments. You are considered a blasted fool who has no personality and are close to an asylum patient. Single at 30? It is karma for deliberately acting idiotic and claiming to have a fake condition like Asperger's, so no women want a weirdo like you.

One thing that I notice amongst the fourth world relatives is that they really emphasise their feeling that you are acting the way that you are because you actually want to, not because it just happens without your wanting. In other words, in the fourth world countries, it seems to me that they truly believe in their minds that other people act in certain ways only because they want to, and that they deliberately insist on being abnormal, when they could very easily change their ways and act "normal".

Remember also that in general, they believe that males = strong/imposing, females = weak/submissive. Having any sort of ASD or mental disorder as a male is just asking to get lambasted and various negative comments and insults. In my experience, a neurotypical male cannot show any mental weakness. A female is expected to be weaker both physically and mentally, and thus is given some leeway in not acting "normal". A male with ASD and mental disorders like OCD or anxiety is violating this rule, and he is not seen as a "real man".



Fireblossom
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05 Nov 2019, 3:29 am

^ And yet in a culture like that, autistic women would be in the biggest danger if they don't buy in to the misogynistic brainwash of how women are less than men. They're likely to get beaten to submission or worse, to death in the name of the family's honor.



Leon_Trotsky
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05 Nov 2019, 2:53 pm

The honour stuff usually is found in the Indian subcontinent cultures. There is some sort of family honour in the Orient, like China, Vietnam, etc. where the eldest male carries the "honour" and reputation of his entire family upon his shoulders and thus has to act normal, but that is different from the Hindustani version of honour.

I remember reading in a magazine article several years ago about some Thai guy in his late 20s who acted abnormal. I am not sure exactly if he had ASD. Or if he even knew what that was. But in any case he wrote in the article that his father was a blackbelt in muay thai, and would "practise" muay thai on him as punishment for not acting like a normal person. Sounds strange and brutal for people from the first world, but in countries like these this type of thing does happen. Not to mention that in many of those countries, it is perfectly legal for parents and even teachers to openly beat their children.



Stanleyanna
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05 Nov 2019, 3:06 pm

There's so much nonsense. Some just can't cope with it. Most of my family don't speak to me because of it. Like I'm the only weird one. I'm the least they just don't see it. They all aspire to "normal "