Sympathy vs cognitive empathy

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I still don't get the meaning of empathy though. Some people say that cognitive empathy means emotionally attached and involved, but you've just mentioned that cognitive empathy means a rather detached and logical work out of what someone might be feeling. Then when people describe emotional empathy the definition of that seems to be identical to the definition of sympathy. Unless sympathy is another term for emotional empathy?

I think I would agree that distinguishing between sympathy and affective empathy can be a bit tricky, and I'm not sure I always see a clear distinction. If I understand correctly, affective empathy can also be called "emotional empathy," and it means that the feelings of another person have an effect on one. I suppose this need not necessarily be a "sympathetic effect." For example, one might realise that someone is upset about something, and in consequence one might experience feelings of awkwardness and discomfort about it without having any intuitive idea about how to respond. Such a response would, I suppose, fit with naturalplastic's definition of affective empathy. And it would not really be what one would called a sympathetic response.

If that definition of affective empathy is correct then I suppose a more extreme example might be a psychopath, who is affected by someone's feelings but in a twisted way, by deriving pleasure and gratification in someone else's discomfort or pain.

I guess whether one calls affective empathy the same as sympathy might depend upon the individual, and exactly what kind of effect the recognition of the other person's feelings has on one. If one responds with caring about how they feel, it would be called sympathy. If one feels awkward about it and just responds with learned "appropriate" platitudes, then it is maybe a classic example of affective empathy without sympathy? And if one responds by deriving pleasure in the other person's discomfort then it is called psychopathy?

Cognitive empathy, on the other hand, seems to be relatively simpler to get to grips with. To me, that is more like the logical process of working out what someone else must be feeling by trying to place oneself "in their shoes." Acting upon that understanding then takes one into the realms of sympathy, affective empathy without sympathy, or psychopathy.

In summary, I suppose it is the case that one might have both kinds of empathy and yet not have any particular feelings of sympathy.

Well, that's my attempt to try to understand the meanings...

This issue always gets me trying to deconstruct my own experience.

I used to be awful at cognitive empathy, but I built a skill set by fixating on social behavior. I regulate most of my demeanor towards others in a highly conscious way. Eye contact, facial expressions, tone of voice, the positive/negative and passive/aggressive subtext of my responses, etc. I improve with time and obsess over the subject with research.

I'm very strange about affective empathy. I don't innately feel anything if you are sad or get hurt in front of me. I only really "resonate" with people being obviously cold or mean to me and also when they are obviously positive towards me. I don't share emotions in most other ways, even when I can deduce the "theory of mind" context. I have sometimes wondered if I was mildly psychopathic because of this affective empathy deficit.

Yet I can get myself literally crying when thinking about systemic issues, where I can imagine myself into the experiences of people suffering. It can actually debilitate me and I have to avoid some kinds of stimulus to keep myself from going to that point...which is not at all psychopathic.

So yeah...all kinds of confused here

Joe90, I think whatever way you look at it you displayed all three in this case: empathy (cognitive and affective) AND sympathy. And it sounds like she was grateful for it, and benefited from your persistence and kindness i.e. it touched her that you cared, and she felt less alone and confused.

Yes it’s all pretty confusing! Looking at the discussion it seems to me that autistic people naturally have a lot of affective (or emotional) empathy that however often needs to be shut off in various ways due to overload, or anxiety or whatever.

Cognitive empathy is much trickier as it’s about reading cues and signs in situations, and in a lot of social context, so takes a great deal of figuring out specially for those who don’t naturally or easily approach or get close to others. And it’s easy to get it wrong.

Sympathy, e.g.when being informed specifically about an event or situation that might affect someone emotionally... this seems also less of a problem, as you can get into the identifying-with-someone bit once you know what’s going on for them.

This is completely anecdotal. Take it for what it is worth.

I was once talking with an autistic woman about how her sense of smell and taste is so good and mine is so, so bad. I got really sad at missing out and burst into tears.

She actually seemed like a nice person. But her only reaction was that of confusion. "Wait, why are you crying?!" She was astoundingly oblivious. She had zero ability to link her words with the consequences.

She also didn't seem the least bit guilty or sad or remorseful or alarmed or anything even after I had explained. Zero pity or compassion. She wasn't uncomfortable at all.

When an NT woman makes you cry, she goes hysterical!

I swear, I think that woman was a serial killer!