Chaos

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RoadRatt,

Nearly word for word how I feel right now.

No tennis to play or to watch, no church activities, probably no Toastmasters meeting and none of the social opportunities allied with all of them. My life is back where it was in 2011-2012 only with loneliness, not the chaos that was a constant part of my life then.

The only beauty I see is my feral cats outside my door and the across the street neighbor's cat.

I just hope I'm able to go to work.

I watch vintage Olympic Games clips, particularly of Tokyo, 1964. This is the only way I'll get to watch the Olympic Games this year if this nonsense continues.

I also watch a channel with cute animal videos. The cats are my favorite. I always love when I see a cat that looks like one of mine.

I watch the interview of Denis Istomin after his defeat of Djokovic in 2017.

This year, which started out so promising, could see the demise of my dreams forever. I am at a new low.

If I could come back from this, I would be so grateful.

I let my stress build up for too long and it finally broke. It isn't easy when you can't always figure out how bad you are getting until it gets way too bad.

I am still anxiety riddled this morning but I will do some Qi Gong here in a bit. It is an easy exercise to help calm me down.

I don't seem to be one of those "sit quietly" people. I need to be doing something at all times. I do have some books that I haven't read in ages. I will find them. Maybe I can get my head to concentrate on reading.

I am still trying to wrap my head around all this going on for months. Ah well, we'll take it one day at a time. The only way we can, hehe.

Yeah mine broke too. Might come back. But right now I feel pretty good.

A lockdown changes nothing for me personally. The last few months I have spent 90% of my time in my room on my computer.

My family has joked about how I put myself in solitary confinement and talked about putting a slot in my door for giving me food.

Last edited by EzraS on 17 Mar 2020, 1:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm going crazy thanks to the routine disruption too. All my therapists are going to teleconferencing rather than in-person meetings, and the dojo where I do jujitsu is closing for a month starting today. I just want everything to go back to the way it used to, I'm tired of being stuck indoors and all the change is making my anxiety skyrocket. It's a little bit comforting to know I'm not alone in these feelings though. Misery loves company.

I am doing alright today. I have been listening to music. I am having too much of a hard time concentrating lately to do any reading. I don't have to leave the house again until Monday, unless something comes up, but it usually doesn't.

I hope everyone is doing well.

That has been my life for ages. I wouldn't hardly remember what the living room looks like if I didn't have to pass by it on my way to the kitchen every day lol.



It seems that we will all be in good miserable company!