I Need Respect

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I respect you. I think we all need respect. I would like to get more respect from my family but I know I can't demand that my mum respect me. I'm lucky that I live on my own.

Hun, those are called microaggressions (although some on that list are just ridiculous). Yes, microaggressions are a subset of ways in which a person can be disrespected, but it is not an extensive list, as the use of "which" in your sentence implies. We don't know the specifics of what happened to her. She hasn't told us. It could have been very traumatic. I get that you are trying to bait her into an argument where you promote your personal world view, but is this really the best way to help her though what she is struggling with?

See what I did there? Case in point, right now I suspect Fnord might be feeling disrespected by these:

• Someone correcting your grammar, punctuation, or spelling?
• Someone suggesting to you a better way of doing things?

However, if instead I phrased the first paragraph of my post as follows, it'd be far less inflammatory, but conveys the same general information. This is because I left out the microaggressions, or at least turned them down a notch:

"At worst those are examples of microaggressions (although some not so much). Yes, microaggressions are a subset of ways in which a person can be disrespected, but it is not an extensive list. We don't know the specifics of what happened to her. She hasn't told us. It could have been very traumatic. I get that you are trying to make your own point about something that is bothering you right now, but maybe there is a more effective way to help her though what she is struggling with."

So yeah, my point is- even microaggressions can mount up and get really frustrating, so let's just try to be nice to one another. Just a suggestion.

i feel for the OP as i am nearly as low-ranking a person in our culture as it is possible to be, not rock bottom but bottom of the totem pole and out of sight, so i am used to our mercenary cultures manifold microaggressions and macroaggressions. the sooner one can disenthrall oneself from the esteem of others, the sooner one can declare emotional freedom from society.

@ Fern: Your expression of smarmy condescendence is noted.

No, those are calls for clarification of redchidragon's claims -- nothing more.Then it is entirely up to her to clarify her position.I get that you may be projecting your own feelings upon me, or that you may simply be trying to intimidate me into leaving redchidragon alone.  You may even be sincerely trying to protect her from what you may perceive as a threat.  In any case, you are simply wrong.I believe that asking specific questions (which require specific answers) is the best way to determine what is required.I feel no disrespect -- my pride is not so great as to feel disrespected by garden-variety insinuation and false accusations.You first; and by the way, I am not now, nor will I ever be, your "Hun".  Deal with it.

Hmm. K. It's a pleasure to meet you as well.

[/quote]Which of the following do you think is disrespectful?

• Someone correcting your grammar, punctuation, or spelling?
• Someone pointing out that what you consider 'facts' are not?
• Someone pointing out that what you consider 'real' is not?
• Someone pointing out that your reasoning skills may need improvement?
• Someone saying "Calm down" or "Please lower your voice" to you?
• Someone suggesting to you a better way of doing things?
• When people ask you to repeat what you have just said?
• When people ask you to step aside so they can continue on their way?
• When people forget your birthday?
• When people walk past you without even noticing you?
• This list of questions?[/quote]

No. How 'bout I'm tired of being bullied, people being condescending, people thinking b/c I'm small I'm someone they can flirt with and get their way with, people falsely accusing me. Come on. I'm sure you get sick of it too. I understand what you mean. Some people are too easily offended and this culture has gone a little soft. On the contrary, other times people are jerks and that's what has often been happening to me in my life. I acknowledge I did sound a little fussy in the post but there's no need to jump to judgement I'm one of those constantly oversensitive offended people. I'm generally happy. I just have a need to be treated with dignity and respect.

[/quote]

Hun, those are called microaggressions (although some on that list are just ridiculous). Yes, microaggressions are a subset of ways in which a person can be disrespected, but it is not an extensive list, as the use of "which" in your sentence implies. We don't know the specifics of what happened to her. She hasn't told us. It could have been very traumatic. I get that you are trying to bait her into an argument where you promote your personal world view, but is this really the best way to help her though what she is struggling with?

See what I did there? Case in point, right now I suspect Fnord might be feeling disrespected by these:

• Someone correcting your grammar, punctuation, or spelling?
• Someone suggesting to you a better way of doing things?

However, if instead I phrased the first paragraph of my post as follows, it'd be far less inflammatory, but conveys the same general information. This is because I left out the microaggressions, or at least turned them down a notch:

"At worst those are examples of microaggressions (although some not so much). Yes, microaggressions are a subset of ways in which a person can be disrespected, but it is not an extensive list. We don't know the specifics of what happened to her. She hasn't told us. It could have been very traumatic. I get that you are trying to make your own point about something that is bothering you right now, but maybe there is a more effective way to help her though what she is struggling with."

So yeah, my point is- even microaggressions can mount up and get really frustrating, so let's just try to be nice to one another. Just a suggestion. [/quote]

I agree with you on that. There's no need for anyone to get upset. I just merely want to be respected and not looked down upon. Everyday problems happen. That's very different than being bullied and illegally discriminated against and frequently falsely accused.

Everybody deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.

But one can’t force it, per se.

Instead, one must fight back against condescension.....through asserting one’s self, your rights as a person without explicitly “demanding” respect.

I’m still learning that lesson.

Ahh ... so you just want to be treated as everyone else is supposed to be treated -- as a person, not a mere plaything or amusement piece for mean-spirited people.  That is understandable; we all want that, and we don't always get it.  That's life.

It took a long time, but I had to "grow a thick skin" and learn to not react in kind to microagressive behavior (although I can sling it right back to great effect).  Laughing things off is difficult to do, so sometimes a little smirk and shake of the head is just as effective when dealing with other people's attitudes.

Truce?