Difficulty Living at Home

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I have a lot of customers with that attitude. They know what they want. They just need someone to agree with them. And, if you really want to be helpful, change the rules that prevent them from doing what they want. Which isn't going to happen, as it would piss off the customers who like the rules just the way they are.

In grade school I learned that stereotypes are bad. As a working adult I've discovered that, if used with discretion, stereotypes are quite useful if you wish to stay employed.

Thanks to everyone who has replied since my last post here, particularly for the suggestions! There are definitely times of day where I can maybe try to glean some peace (although it's difficult because my parents' home has always been very rigid/structured (a blessing and a curse for an aspie) and staying up very late is typically frowned upon and investigated (for instance, in the past I have been so sick I couldn't sleep and came downstairs at 3-4 in the morning to try to quietly eat something and watch tv to nurse/distract myself, and my dad must be a light sleeper because despite my best efforts to be quiet he came downstairs and acted like I was doing something bad/wrong).

However, despite this, I do think I can work on organizing my time around when I know everyone should be relatively occupied. Also, finding ways to distance myself is worth the effort too, although still tough to get peace and quiet since we live in a neighborhood and it's summer, so lots of kids running around during the day and folks mowing their lawns (all bad noises).

Sorry if I sound like a negative Nancy. I think everyone's input has been helpful, both in letting me know I'm not alone in feeling a little stifled with people being home at all times, and in trying to offer me help for how I can cope with it better. To anyone dealing with similar situations, I hope the best for you in the future.

Would it be possible for you to tell them that the house rules don't always work for you and you would like to try a different schedule or set aside times to be by yourself in order to experience less stress? It may not have occurred to your parents that the rules don't always work for you. They may just take it for granted that of course this is when we have meals, this is when we get up etc.

Not sure I can help. For much of the worlds history, individuals normally remained in their parents homes until they could save enough to build a place of their own or inherited a place from their parents. This changed in the last century. One of the outcomes of WWII in the U.S. was that soldiers returning home from the war were rewarded by being able to obtain VA loans to buy homes. The VA home loan program was created in 1944, part of the original Servicemen's Readjustment Act, better known as the GI Bill of Rights. This opened up a new door to many young people in the country to buy a home on credit rather than wait several decades to save enough cash to purchase a home.

In the present world in the U.S. many young people after graduation have taken the approach of living at home in order to save up a nest egg with the view that they would eventually move out to a place of their own. In some regions of the U.S. housing is extremely expensive, almost ridiculously expensive.

So the first step is What is your goal?
Sounds like the above is your goal. To become fully independent with a place of your own.

But how do you get there?
Identify your goal and hold onto it very tightly. And work each day and night until you have achieved your goal.

Let's see, in may case, I graduated from college and couldn't find a job because I graduated in the middle of a major recession. It didn't stop me from trying. After applying at 500 companies in person or by mail, I finally landed a job, a career job and I worked this job for four decades and then retired.

Once I had a career job, I moved into an apartment, then after a few years I made the decision to get married and buy a house on a 30-year loan. Three years later I sold the house and used the money as a nest egg to build my own home. [Our first house doubled in price in 3 years time.] We used the nest egg to complete around 50% of the construction of our new home. We moved in a partially built home and kept adding to it until it was finished around 25 years later. My wife and I physically built our own dream house. It took a lot of work but we live on 30 acres of forest, very quiet and peaceful. A pleasant place for an Aspie.

So if you are sensitive to noise, I would suggest getting a pair of noise canceling headsets. Remember to your parents you will always be their child. Even when you are 50 years old. So if you seek independence, then become financially independent and after that move away to a place of your own.

Many of the world's troubles stem from people assuming that others are like themselves. Some are unwilling to imagine mental differences being as broad as physical differences, and others are just unable to, and get frustrated if asked. Far too often, asking for accommodation just focuses their effort on where you "need" to conform. So, be careful.

I am not fond of living on a schedule, but without one the variations get too large and inconvenient.

I can coach you through finding a job.. you will not like it, not believe it, won't do most of it, will not want to talk to me after my job search course.. but you will probably have a job and a career, although you will say that I had nothing to do with it and it was all your achievement.. if you want, pm me.. not sure if I have the energy in me to do it again..

but as far as living with your family, they won't understand. you have to mask with them 24/7 and 100% of the time. treat them like strangers who are room mates. be a good room mate. be kind. google FlyLady. take notes on the computer in a Word document on what they do every day - record their routines and how they do things, and then learn to do the same things the same way they do it.. keep your mouth shut.. don't talk.. they will keep adding things for you to do physically and socially, and eventually you won't be able to keep up and they won't let you alone either.. so this situation is impossible.. all I can say is try to be a good room mate.

Good point. Asking to have allowances made for our differences can actually make it worse.

Its supposed to be my space but he does that to mom's kitchen every now and then so I guess I'm not alone for the most part

I live in a group home with three men with autism.