Muddled thinking

Post Reply New Topic

You are right. What I experienced was more a delay in understandingconversations. Decades before I had understood what was said, my decades delay was related to why it might have been said.
Yes, sometimes it takes new data to solve a problem. In my cases, however, I had not--to my knowledge--received any new data. At most my mind may have observed similarities with later events, but I sleep with my eyes closed so my mind didn't get input while I was asleep.

I am not saying my delayed realizations were autism-related. I don't know and am sincerely curious whether other auties have experienced the same thing.

I will say that in the latter of the two cases I am so glad I am an autie! They say you can't cheat an honest man. Well my delayed realization was that my former co-worker had set things up hoping I would be tempted into doing something that would have ended up with me in handcuffs. I do think it is probably autism-related that I thought I could do something wrong but did not consider doing it.

That reminds me of a discovery somebody reported here a few years ago - that as well as comprehending what somebody is SAYING, there's the matter of what they're DOING by saying it, and that was more a NT thing, and often Aspies just say things without trying to do anything, and hear things without expecting the speaker to be trying to do anything. I think in my case I have some sense of the "why," but it's not complete. It's very well-developed when I look at the things politicians and ad-men say, because I've made a special study of propaganda, but when it's just ordinary people talking, I think sometimes all I notice is the words.

I don't recall running across that phrasing before but is wonderful! If I'm understanding things correctly then I think it is a concise, elegant way to express the concept. And it fits well with the NT vs. Aspie contrast you mention and it is coincidentally relevant to those two incidents where my subconscious chewed on a couple of incidents for 4 decades and finally reached some level of deeper awareness.

And now I'm mind-boggled. Having a better understanding of what politicians and ad-men are "doing" as opposed to NTs sounds soooo backwards. Their overall goals might be predictable but I would expect there to be layers of hidden agendas. I'll believe you but I reserve the right to look mind-boggled--as soon as I figure out how to do that.

But then I've only relatively recently learned that Aspies tend not to read or write meaning "between the lines." But I can clearly see that affecting communication between myself and my bride.

all my life I was told I was simply not paying attention, and scolded for not understanding or reacting as I was "supposed to". I did not know until I got neurological testing at age 68 that I have very poor visual and auditory processing. I have corrected vision with glasses, and my hearing tests far better than most in all sound ranges,So was told over and over that I had no excuse but that I was deliberately not paying attention, simply not listening, etc.

But i miss what I see and hear because my sensory processing disabilites do not "get it" . It is a physical neurological "thing" that in truth I have no control over.
No wonder I am slow to respond and got things so wrong for so long.
Knowing it was not "all my fault" all those years has made a wonderful difference.

Now I know my best way to understanding is to read. My best way to communicate is the written word on forums such as this where I have time to process the input before I am expected to react or respond. By removing the distressing circumstance of having to try to understand and respond to things in "real time" (no videos, lectures, social interactions such as a party or a meeting in real time) No ball games or plays, no youtube, no face to face discussions, etc has removed a ton of anxiety from my life. It is particularly difficult to process "real time" interactions in crowded places or with more than one or 2 others.

Consider that you might have struggles with sensory processing issues. Being tested was great for me because it gave me insight into how best to remove some of the worst struggles of my life and showed me better ways to live my life. Better later than never. Life is so much better now.

Your need for extra time to respond could be a sensory processing issue.

My first wife was very likely NT, and I remember getting annoyed at her habit of reading between the lines of what I said. As I wasn't trying to say anything between the lines, I figured there was nothing there except whatever she felt like reading into it, and so all she was doing was putting words in my mouth, as far as I could see at the time. I also didn't like the phrase "reading between the lines" when I first heard it, because I took it literally, so it seemed like an impossible thing to do.

I suppose one reason I find it easy to figure out what politicians and ad-men are trying to do because their agenda is so simple - they seek to put certain ideas into our minds, with the overarching principle of "you want to buy my product." The blatant clue is that they hardly ever say anything truly objective. It's clear that they aren't trying to inform us of anything real, and when they do give correct information it's cherry-picked to promote their own agenda. After a lifetime in science, the contrast between their communication style and that of a good scientist is extremely noticeable to me. With good science, the strongest assertion you'll see is that it seems reasonably safe to assume x as judged by the known evidence so far. There are no appeals to emotion, just data and logical reasoning. Ad-men and politicians do use a wide variety of cunning tricks to get their way, and I probably don't know all of them, but most of the time they're using their old favourites.

Last edited by ToughDiamond on 19 Oct 2020, 4:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sometimes, but I don't imagine this is unique to ASD brains, but instead just typical of being distracted. When your brain is always a little bit distracted you're almost certain to take a bit longer to put stuff together unless it's very interesting and able to demand 100% attention.