Weakly developed or absent "self" - looking for info/advice

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Kristofs ... when I was exploring the same back in 2006, I was advised to read 2 books:

“Autism and the Development of Mind” and “The Cradle of Thought” by R. Peter Hobson.

Hobson is one of the few who understands what it is to be autistic. Though heavy going, they are well worth the read.

Dan ... I remember Morningside fairly well! Took me right back, hearing that name again! I grew up in Annerley. I miss Brissie! It’s a shame there’s no library handy to you. There’s a From Library to Door Service here since ours are all closed with the lockdown. All is done online. If only there was something you could access like that where you are.

I looked into the possibility of sending mine to you, as books are meant to be shared, in my view. I’d have been happy to give these to you (no charge). But, Autism and the Development of Mind is now hard to find for under £135.00/236Aussie dollars, so not easily/sensibly replaced. It’s gone through the roof! I could however get Cradle of Thought to you, otherwise, you might pick up a cheap copy on Ebay/Amazon or other Aussie Online Bookstore.

The Gutenberg Project has books free to download(no copies of these particular two books, but a good site all the same) ... https://www.gutenberg.org/

I relate to not feeling proactive enough but I don't equate that with a strong sense of self. It's more like I have two selves, a strong internal one based on my interests, beliefs, and opinions, and a weaker external one based on my routine and surroundings. I feel too much like the same person each morning, which makes it harder to change things in my life.