Can you switch your empathy on and off?

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No, I can't turn my empathy on and off. It's interesting that you can though.

I mean, it is. And it’s not as amazing as people would think.

I have a problem noticing when I'm being guilt tripped, unless someone consistently does it to me. Even when I notice it I still feel bad and it's irritating.

I have noticed there are certain topics people use while trying to guilt trip me.

Substances are a common one. And keep in mind, I practice responsible drug use and harm reduction. And my attitude is if you don't hurt anyone else, do what you like. Telling people to not use substances rarely works.

So anyways, if someone brings that topic up to me, I question if they actually have some vested interest. And what that interest actually is.

If it's someone I don't really know, I deal with it carefully.

I am not talking about my family and close friends btw.

"While I can easily empathize with someone over the suffering they experience, if that person lashes out at me, then I can almost feel all empathy for them dissolve and fade away." What's true for Fnord is true for me in this case.

But i find that this only happens in real life. When i watch a tv series and there's an anti-hero, I can always feel empathy for that character if they have a tragic backstory.

And in all honestly, i think that's a good thing for me. And for a lot people: a lot of women stay in an abusive relationship because they can't have "selective empathy": they think that everything they do it's their fault. for example if their husband gets mad and hits them, those women don't think "my husband is an awful man", they think "it,s my fault, i shouldn't have told him [insert something]"...

I think we all should have selective empathy, for our own good. that's something that is learned as we grow, if we get hurt like that a lot. or at least we should make others respect us, by showing them that we are strong