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Are People Shurprized To Find That You Are Intelligent?

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DIVAIR
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01 Mar 2021, 6:58 pm

No, not at all, because I'm very articulate and carry myself well, but, people are generally surprised when I read out loud and can't do it for s**t! They're always nonplussed because I can't do basic arithmetic either. I'd have made a great engineer, but my math and reading skills are for ca-ca, and yet my writing/story telling skills are far better than most.

I love modding things, especially old stuff like scuba gear from the 1950's and 60's. If something's broken I can usually fix/repair it 8)

DIVAIR



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01 Mar 2021, 7:01 pm

I am a strange mix though. On the one hand I am quite intelligent, but on the other hand I am thick. I am quite a contrast!


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01 Mar 2021, 7:08 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
People are very dismissive of me at first and don't think I can do much, since I'm very clumsy and don't have great verbal ability. They're always surprised I know as much as I do about certain subjects and that the quality of the tasks I do are as good as they are.


I'm pretty much the same.
I don't present well, IRL, partly because I am a very slow thinker in real-time situations.
That is one of the reasons I prefer forum type socialising.



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01 Mar 2021, 7:09 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I AM often "slow" at first----and I don't always give off a good "first impression."


Story of my life. :roll:



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01 Mar 2021, 7:11 pm

DIVAIR wrote:
No, not at all, because I'm very articulate and carry myself well, but, people are generally surprised when I read out loud and can't do it for s**t! They're always nonplussed because I can't do basic arithmetic either. I'd have made a great engineer, but my math and reading skills are for ca-ca, and yet my writing/story telling skills are far better than most.

I love modding things, especially old stuff like scuba gear from the 1950's and 60's. If something's broken I can usually fix/repair it 8)

DIVAIR


You don't belong here.
I think you should leave.
JOKE!! ! :mrgreen:



DIVAIR
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01 Mar 2021, 8:29 pm

Pepe wrote:
DIVAIR wrote:
No, not at all, because I'm very articulate and carry myself well, but, people are generally surprised when I read out loud and can't do it for s**t! They're always nonplussed because I can't do basic arithmetic either. I'd have made a great engineer, but my math and reading skills are for ca-ca, and yet my writing/story telling skills are far better than most.

I love modding things, especially old stuff like scuba gear from the 1950's and 60's. If something's broken I can usually fix/repair it 8)

DIVAIR


You don't belong here.
I think you should leave.
JOKE!! ! :mrgreen:


Yer mean, an' I'm gunna go to my room and cry, then I'll hold my breath 'til I'm dead, then you'll be sorry! :roll: :P

No, I get that a lot, "Well you don't look Autistic..." :x

All the while I'm thinking, "And you don't look as stupid as you sound..." :wink:

DIVAIR



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01 Mar 2021, 8:39 pm

DIVAIR wrote:
No, I get that a lot, "Well you don't look Autistic..." :x

All the while I'm thinking, "And you don't look as stupid as you sound..." :wink:

DIVAIR


Yeah, I have had a lot of people try and convince me I am not autistic. I came to the conclusion that they think being autistic means being low-functioning.
On the media in the past, they generally showed autistic kids in tantrum mode, and this has given many people the wrong idea.
I have been told that higher functioning autistics make up the bulk of the people on the spectrum.

And yes, I too look at the cog works going on in the heads of NTs and wonder at how ignorant and transparent they are. :roll:
But I have learnt not to ague.
"You can take a wombat to logic, but you can't make it think." :mrgreen:



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01 Mar 2021, 8:44 pm

Overestimated, underestimated...
All the same to me.

Eh. :shrug:
Doesn't help that I'm not very consistent.


I may wake up reliably super competent with everything.
Only in the next morning or later that day, being a useless nuisance with everything.


My first impressions depends on timing -- which ever side people caught. :roll:
Only for that image of first impressions to be broken too many times and repeatedly.

Until eventually people no longer cared or simply deem me unreliable due to this lack of consistency.


I wish there's a flashing signal of what my functioning level is for a day, or hour.
Kinda wish there's an obvious sign that tells whether I'm currently a productive and reliable unit, or that I should be left alone and save everyone the trouble.


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SharonB
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01 Mar 2021, 10:00 pm

Edna3362 wrote:
...I wish there's a flashing signal of what my functioning level is for a day, or hour.
Kinda wish there's an obvious sign that tells whether I'm currently a productive and reliable unit, or that I should be left alone and save everyone the trouble.

According to a book I read recently, at an Autism conference, although it didn't flash, folks had colors on their name tags to indicate: approach me if you know me, please approach me, don't approach me, etc. And of course the environment was more sensory-friendly.



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01 Mar 2021, 10:08 pm

SharonB wrote:
Edna3362 wrote:
...I wish there's a flashing signal of what my functioning level is for a day, or hour.
Kinda wish there's an obvious sign that tells whether I'm currently a productive and reliable unit, or that I should be left alone and save everyone the trouble.

According to a book I read recently, at an Autism conference, although it didn't flash, folks had colors on their name tags to indicate: approach me if you know me, please approach me, don't approach me, etc. And of course the environment was more sensory-friendly.

It's little to do with being approached, socialization and sensory issues -- but more to do with being productive, reliable and to be trusted to make decisions.


It's not like the matters of emotions and/or senses.
Had that been the case, I'd truly know when and when not to say no -- I'm no alexithymic, nor one with cases of low thresholds and tolerance.
I even wish that's the case, so it'll make consistent sense, but it's not...


It's not the same --
It's not easy to know when or when not to rely on one's memory or judgment -- knowing when I'm in a state of having access to insights and other mental faculties or not. :(
Regardless of emotions and senses, I don't know if I'm being slow and clumsy and utterly forgetful with distorted senses or actually having a functioning EF and actually functioning no problem until it's too late.



Got any clue when one's regulatory systems are properly working? :o

I can be overwhelmed, fatigued and not even trying -- and still as ten times productive, intelligent and mature because of EF.

The inverse is also true -- I can be at my best moods, at peace with everything, far from tired, sensory friendly, etc...
And struggle productively because I keep forgetting or being mentally myopic or being short of something I couldn't count or describe yet very vital.


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SharonB
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02 Mar 2021, 12:59 pm

^^^^ Playful imagination: You would look at your "tag" for which your body/mind has indicated its state and know how to proceed for yourself. Green (EF and perception on), Red (EF and perception off), Yellow (proceed with caution).

I feel that way about my chronic anxiety/stress - Am I supposed to abide by or dismiss this particular anxiety? I'd love to have a "tag" that was green (carry on), red (stop) or yellow (proceed with caution). For anxiety I heard that taking a moment to rate it on a scale is a first step. Right now my agitation is a 3, but on the cusp of a 6. I've never thought to assess my level of SPD, EFD or ADHD which are all variable relative to stress.

Related to topic: Relaxed = appear intelligent (smooth). Stressed = appear unintelligent (mute or babbling). Clearly NTs experience this stress response also, but perhaps not to the extreme. In my case when I appear confident it can be intimidating to others, and there is little midway between that and the other extreme.



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02 Mar 2021, 1:27 pm

Not so much surprised as offended.  Maybe they were not looking for intelligent answers to their questions; but were instead looking for an intelligent person to give them the answers they want -- affirmations, not solutions.  People have insulted me -- calling me "closed-minded", "ignorant", or "stupid" -- for relying on facts, research, and solutions that have worked in the same or similar situations before, only to express even more anger toward me when their own preferred solutions failed to produce desired results.  I have been taken off projects for taking a methodical approach instead of just implementing the most popular consensus opinion, only to see those projects fail explosively (... literally!  I have seen thousands of dollars worth of high-tech gear get ruined because it was installed or used improperly), and someone will always try to put the blame on me.

"I am so sorry ... but you took me off that project three weeks ago ... I have not been involved at all since then ..."


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02 Mar 2021, 1:42 pm

Unpopular opinion: slow = clever, not stupid.

Also Kraftie is plenty smart. Like NT amount of subjects with autistic amount of depth! I know that from talking to you on here & reading your conversations with other people.

To be completely honest & at the risk of autistic bluntness: you surprised my stereotypes of 'non-aspie autism' to learn you weren't aspie.


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02 Mar 2021, 2:41 pm

Fnord wrote:
...People have insulted me -- calling me "closed-minded", "ignorant", or "stupid" -- for relying on facts, research, and solutions that have worked in the same or similar situations before, only to express even more anger toward me when their own preferred solutions failed to produce desired results...

"I am so sorry ... but you took me off that project three weeks ago ... I have not been involved at all since then ..."


Yes, just, yes.

I have been accused of presenting my opinions as facts, or that the data I used must be old or incorrect. Umm, no, it's recent and feel free to look at the data warehouse yourself and draw conclusions. In retrospect, I was supposed to give the information to my director privately who would then present it as his idea and it would have been accepted. BBQ at his house!



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02 Mar 2021, 2:44 pm

Yep....this sort of thing happens in corporations all the time.

Bosses delegate to subordinates, and bosses take credit for the ideas (thought of by subordinates) which are promulgated through this delegation.



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02 Mar 2021, 6:27 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Yep....this sort of thing happens in corporations all the time.

Bosses delegate to subordinates, and bosses take credit for the ideas (thought of by subordinates) which are promulgated through this delegation.

Well, picking the right subordinates and delegating tasks to the right subordinates, as well as CHOOSING the right ideas coming from subordinates does deserve credit for effective management. Best bosses credit the "team" of which they are a part of.