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Which "social rule" do you detest the most?

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KT67
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04 Apr 2021, 5:20 pm

warrier120 wrote:
I always found it frustrating how NTs tend to shun those who state that they're proud of being autistic. Apparently, being autistic and loving yourself for who you are is forbidden... :roll:


I find it even weirder when autistic people do that.

I guess misery wants to keep company with misery. :roll:

I'd rather be proud of my good traits and work on my bad than hate everything to do with being autistic.


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05 Apr 2021, 2:49 am

warrier120 wrote:
I always found it frustrating how NTs tend to shun those who state that they're proud of being autistic. Apparently, being autistic and loving yourself for who you are is forbidden... :roll:


In another support forum that I used back in the day there was this one man who loved being autistic. He got a lot of subtle insults and such from the other autistic members there, so I think it's safe to say it's not just NTs who practice that social rule. And I think I've seen some people do it here too when someone's pointed out good sides of having autism.



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05 Apr 2021, 7:23 am

Jayo wrote:
Which "Social Rule" Do You Detest The Most?

I don't even know what they all are.
And I'm not going to bother looking them up.


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05 Apr 2021, 7:40 am

Which social rule? Hmmm... Let's see...

I'm not sure anymore. Because I wouldn't care anymore. :lol:


If I could, I would choose to follow any sets of painstaking rule for sentiment or boredom's sake.
Or ignore it because various reasons both logical and illogical.

Or exploit any rule for my benefit cause why not? That's how some NTs do it.
I can't see how autistics exempts themselves from it, other than specific mindsets about socializing and the sheer difficulty of pulling it off.


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05 Apr 2021, 9:53 am

Small Talk
Hugging people hello / goodbye
Eye contact
How are you? Fine, Thanks! :wall:

I don't really do any of these, but I detest them anyway.

Oh, also the rule that says I can't sit on the floor / ground when I have a shutdown or meltdown in public.


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05 Apr 2021, 11:15 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Small Talk
Hugging people hello / goodbye
Eye contact
How are you? Fine, Thanks! :wall:

I don't really do any of these, but I detest them anyway.

Oh, also the rule that says I can't sit on the floor / ground when I have a shutdown or meltdown in public.

I hate the expectation of eye contact so much. I'm not even good at faking it. People either get weirded out from me essentially staring through their soul, or get offended because I'm looking at something else and they don't think I'm paying attention to them.

A lot of autistic people can't win when it comes to eye contact. :lol:



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05 Apr 2021, 11:25 am

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Small Talk
Hugging people hello / goodbye
Eye contact
How are you? Fine, Thanks! :wall:

I don't really do any of these, but I detest them anyway.

Oh, also the rule that says I can't sit on the floor / ground when I have a shutdown or meltdown in public.

I hate the expectation of eye contact so much. I'm not even good at faking it. People either get weirded out from me essentially staring through their soul, or get offended because I'm looking at something else and they don't think I'm paying attention to them.

A lot of autistic people can't win when it comes to eye contact. :lol:


I don't even try to make eye contact. Most of the time I realise after interactions that I wasn't even facing the person, or looking in their general direction at all. I'm often turned the other way or walking away from them as I speak. Then I go home and ruminate about it, and realise I was supposed to fake it, and I start imagining how bad it looked or how much of a freak I am. Then I tell myself I'd better do it better next time. Next time never happens because I get so nervous in social situations I totally blank and forget the rules. I've never known how to mask.


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HeroOfHyrule
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05 Apr 2021, 3:09 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
I don't even try to make eye contact. Most of the time I realise after interactions that I wasn't even facing the person, or looking in their general direction at all. I'm often turned the other way or walking away from them as I speak. Then I go home and ruminate about it, and realise I was supposed to fake it, and I start imagining how bad it looked or how much of a freak I am. Then I tell myself I'd better do it better next time. Next time never happens because I get so nervous in social situations I totally blank and forget the rules. I've never known how to mask.

I get anxiety in social situations, and need to avoid eye contact when I have anxiety. The only time I really make myself do it now is if I'm talking to a doctor or someone important and I want them to take me seriously.

Something that's interesting is I can make eye contact with animals just fine. I actually enjoy doing that and find it very emotionally fulfilling.



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05 Apr 2021, 3:53 pm

Eye contact is natural for me but I consciously avoid eye contact when walking past strangers.


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05 Apr 2021, 7:29 pm

"Sorry for your loss" seems to me to be utterly minimizing the devastation the bereaved feel because it is such a generalized no effort phrase.


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06 Apr 2021, 1:42 pm

It's acceptable for people to babble on about something they know nothing about, but puncture their arrogant nonsense with a few facts and you're the rude one.


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06 Apr 2021, 5:33 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:
"Sorry for your loss" seems to me to be utterly minimizing the devastation the bereaved feel because it is such a generalized no effort phrase.


I think people say it as a way of giving sympathy and not knowing what else to say. The only thing I wish I could say to a grieving person is "I'll see if I can bring your loved one back" but I can't say that because unfortunately I cannot do that, and neither can anybody else. So I suppose that's the next best thing to say, even if it doesn't sound logical.


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06 Apr 2021, 11:47 pm

I also have a problem with "canned" responses that sound insincere because everyone says exactly the same thing in exactly the same words.


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07 Apr 2021, 2:04 am

Joe90 wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
"Sorry for your loss" seems to me to be utterly minimizing the devastation the bereaved feel because it is such a generalized no effort phrase.


I think people say it as a way of giving sympathy and not knowing what else to say. The only thing I wish I could say to a grieving person is "I'll see if I can bring your loved one back" but I can't say that because unfortunately I cannot do that, and neither can anybody else. So I suppose that's the next best thing to say, even if it doesn't sound logical.


I usually say "Sorry this had to happen to you", or "Sorry you have to go through this". No words are adequate for the situation but those sound a bit less perfunctory.


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23 Apr 2021, 6:59 pm

Fnord wrote:
Jayo wrote:
Which "social rule" do you detest the most?
That someone is allowed to be as obnoxious as possible just because he or she has "personal issues" and might have a meltdown if reminded that their behavior is in violation of The Rules in some way.


Sounds like my work. I used to work with this lady and her husband. I didn't have a problem with the husband, except he was a total spineless wimp who had the personality of a cucumber. The lady, she was a serious over achiever and major suck up to management.

She(and her husband) could do no wrong. In fact, she used to buy Christmas and birthday presents for our manager(s)!. However she was a terror to work with, I caught het wrath a few times. One time I had honestly no clue what I even did. I heard later on, that I was referred to as a F___ing R word one time. She ended up quitting for health reasons, thankfully. Her husband is on a different shift now. She got away with being a psycho B---h because she kissed managements ass.



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23 Apr 2021, 7:05 pm

Benjamin the Donkey wrote:
It's acceptable for people to babble on about something they know nothing about, but puncture their arrogant nonsense with a few facts and you're the rude one.



I've gotten myself in trouble for this countless times. People posting biased debunked from non reputable news sources or keep repeating things that are totally wrong( Vaccines cause Autism for example). I mentioned this in another post earlier in this thread, but this one idiot at work runs his mouth all the time. He told everyone I was a know it all smug MF'er. Thing is, when I corrected him, I DID KNOW what I was talking about it. Moron.... :?