Is anyone here not narcissistic at all?

Post Reply New Topic

It's not known what causes narcissistic personality disorder.  As with personality development and with other mental health disorders, the cause of narcissistic personality disorder is likely complex.  Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to:

• Environment: Mismatches in parent-child relationships with either excessive adoration or excessive criticism that is poorly attuned to the child's experience.

• Genetics: Inherited characteristics.

• Neurobiology: The connection between the brain and behavior and thinking.

(From the article I linked to above.)

Actually it can be associated with either a feeling of superiority (grandiose narcissism) or a feeling of inferiority (vulnerable narcissism).

(See Wikipedia article on vulnerable narcissism.)

You're apparently referring to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), which is not the same thing as narcissism per se. NPD is an extreme form of narcissism.

Narcissism per se is not a diagnosis but just a dimension of personality. Narcissism in moderation is not considered pathological. (See Wikipedia article on "healthy narcissism".)

I am not narcissistic at all...

I *am* the most interesting and fabulous person in the world... nay, in the entire universe.

And as a symbol of my magnanimous beatitude, I hereby grant you all permission to shower me with praise and gifts.

Thus we have people who brag about themselves at one end of the "Narcissism Spectrum", and people who constantly complain about their miserable lives at the other.

I'm not a social person at all. Sometimes I interact with others, but not a lot. I just have a nasty habit of falling bassackwards into relationships. The first marriage, I was 16 and homeless and they offered to let me live with them. Then a pregnancy test came up positive and they wanted to do right and proper, get married so I said okay. That ended after about five years. Second marriage came from my health going to hell and the person I was sleeping with at the time offered to marry me so I could get their health insurance. Don't get me wrong, I liked them and all, but that was why we got married. That marriage actually lasted almost twenty years. We're not together anymore though.

A local peculiarity of language: for some reason, "narcissist!" is the insult of choice when people fall out on WP. You can often find both halves of the dispute ranting afterwards about the other's "pathological narcissism", when that's really not the problem at all.

Now I'm worried that I'm a narcissist. I don't want to be.
But I care and worry too much of what others think of me, I seek and crave social approval, I often run myself down and feel ashamed or beat myself up over my mistakes. I don't think I'm superior to others though, in fact I feel like I'm less than others.
But all that I mentioned might be due to insecurities about having Asperger's, and finding it hard to accept it.

It is certainly an “insult of choice” these days.

I am sure most people who are called “narcissists” are not actually one.

Other overused terms: psychopath, Nazi, Fascist, leftist, rightist, Socialist.

And racist (if you're white).

Having family, being married for total 25 years, actually liking them with sex and all is not being super social? Guess it shows how disconnected from you normal humans I am then... I must be quite far off the scale... :3


Isn't it very popular insult actually? Seems to be big part of human socializing process


Why though? Isn't it what makes you so good at social games? Looks like you are quite on top of popularity contest here on WP. Vulnerable narcissism seems to be quite decent social strategy.

I am not a narcissist at all and don't want to engage in behaviors associated with narcissists.

Narcissism can be interpreted very broadly.

Anybody can be a “narcissist” at some point in their lives.

If one’s narcissism affects other people other than one’s self adversely, then it’s bad. Self-love, vanity, etc can be good when it doesn’t harm others. But, many times, it does harm other people.

Well, when you put it that way....

If you believe in economic theory, then chances are that you believe that humans are inherently self-centered, and that's suppose to be good. Self-centeredness is a major trait of narcissism. Lack of empathy is also a characteristic. However, narcissist are always seeking compliments. They care what the opinions of others have about them to the extreme. That is why narcissist parents designate their children golden child and scapegoat roles. The scapegoat provides the rationale for the narcissist's perceived failures and the golden child is put on a pedestal and bragged about to make people believe that the narcissist is such a good parent.

See What is "scapegoating"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)

FYI: Autistic individuals are prime targets of narcissists. They make easy scapegoats.

Last edited by zzyzzy on 30 Jul 2021, 7:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well, praise and criticism amuse me.
- Does that count?