I don’t think I’m on the spectrum, what do you guys think?

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As several others have already said, I thought I did all the reading people and conversation skills fairly well despite being shy. Until I discovered my understanding of the situation was limited. This was also a trait I thought excluded me from ASD. Turns out I have obvious problems with my communication and these things are very difficult to observe from the inside.

@ OP

Take a step back and ask yourself why you got an assessment? That might answer your question.

I feel like there are a lot of people on the spectrum who can socialise well in particular contexts, maintain eye contact and reciprocate conversations. For a person on the spectrum like this who can socialise well, the subtleties of social nuances might be difficult to pick up.

With me, for example, I am quite comfortable with a very small group of people I trust. I am however, often weird, say inappropriate things, and can come across as opinionated, blunt and emotionless. In large groups, in an unfamiliar setting with people I don’t know, I can find it very difficult and will often retreat or find one I trust to cling onto as ‘social security’.

I think whether you are ASD or not, it seems like the most important part is accepting that at the moment there are questions and doubts about your aspie identity. I think these processes are entirely normal and identity is rarely fixed over time.

I was having a really hard time managing my life and wanted a complete neuropsych eval to see what was wrong. That was a few years after I began to have a mental break, and they did diagnose me with profound anxiety and depression in addition to autism, but I know that my mental break made me lost in my head and go off on tangents more, so maybe that made me seem ASD when I wasn’t.

Autistic burnout?
From outside, autistic burnout looks like a mix of anxiety, depression, physical weakness and suddenly becoming "more autistic". It's painful.
It happens to autistic people with elaborate coping and masking skills - when they reach their limits and their neglected needs surface.
https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/autis ... explained/

Are you sure managing time was the only reason for a neuropsych eval?

Not just managing time, I was not doing well in school, was aimless and unmotivated in life, in my room most of the time, not doing much productive things, stuff like that.

Time management
lack of motivation to study
Staying in your room?
So far nothing suggests autism though?

I mean I have obsessions, both OCD-like and autism-like. They often show up in convo. I often am quiet because I do not know what to say, and had trouble making friends for most of my childhood and still do not know how romance works. And I’m very emotionally sensitive, part of the reason I’m scared to interact with people is because I don’t want to feel a negative emotion.
Sensory issues get in the way of my life as well.

Do you need a label or self-understanding?

Not sure, but I’d lean towards self-understanding.

I’ve been told that I seem obsessed with finding a label for myself, maybe that’s because I don’t really know who I am.

Labels are never perfect. You can think of yourself as having autistic traits without the whole "being autistic" it it fits you better.
You're always welcome on WP, even if you were the mythical 100% NT.

Personally, I relate to a lot of what you wrote via my experience with masking and "acting normal" without realising it was roleplaying - I had no idea other people didn't do it that way - and then getting exhausted of it to the point of mental health collapse. In my case, it all happened over years and decades.

Yeah.

While I was growing up I could see what other people were like and just assumed that since I was also a "people" I was like them. In reality I could not see myself the way they did...because I was on the inside looking out.

I started out believing I was just like everyone else, then believing that for no apparent reason I was not being treated like everyone else. It took me decades to begin wondering if I really wasn't like everyone else. I was in my 50s before I started actively seeking a formal diagnosis of the difference--but I was 64 before I considered Autism (and I didn't think that was it, I just checked it out to be thorough).

And at age 64 I got the diagnosis: Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1 (Mild).

It wasn't at all what I expected. I was kind of hoping for something more out of a Science Fiction film...but "Wrong Planet" will definitely do!

It seems that you're the type of aspie wbo has learned to compensate over the years.

Iv'e known more than 40+ people with autism in my lifetime and although not all people with autism are alike, many of them tend to have similar traits. So if any of this applies to you, then you might have high functioning autism.


1. People with aspergers/high functioning autism are stereotyped as being introverted and nerdy and there is some truth to this. Many people I know with autism do indeed tend to be nerdy and introverted by nature. We're usually not the type to like to go out and party or join a fraternity, etc... We tend to gravitate more towards computers, video games, or other similar activities that may be seen as "nerdy"

2. Many people with aspergers/high functioning autism don't have a lot of interest in sports, whether or not that's playing them or watching them. There are definitely exceptions (i'm one of them) but generally speaking, many people I know with higher functioning autism are not sporty people.

3. People with autism/aspergers typically have problems with making friends and finding someone to date but this also depends on your physical appearance and your gender as well. Autistic women tend to have it easier finding someone to date compared to men, and attractive people regardless of their gender, usually have it easier finding a partner. But typically, there is some difficulties with finding friends and romantic partners if you're on the spectrum and especially if you're a man who's average looking or below.

4. When did you get your drivers license? Many people with autism, even people with higher functioning autism, tend to get their drivers license later than 16. I knew many kids with high functioning autism during high school and almost none of them drove to school despite many of them being juniors and seniors. Most of them got their drivers license later than 16, some at 18, 19, 20, or even older. So if this applies to you, this is also a hidden sign you might be autistic.

5. This doesn't apply to every autistic person but many people with autism have difficulties with school or living independently, at least at first. People with autism can eventually live on their own with little to no support, but it might just take us longer than the average person because certain parts of our brain, especially the frontal lobe and executive function area are delayed compared to our neurotypical peers.



And these are the 5 traits that many autistic people tend to have.

yes, given what you have described , Would think you have a high probability of having Autism,
Somewhere on the spectrum........