Worst misinterpretations of your motives?

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I'm pretty sure she'd have viewed you as a star no matter what colour your robe was.

Sadly, I don't think she ever did like me. I stimmed, humped my mattress (sleep disorder), and was ... autistic.

She didn't know what to make of it. (I guess to be fair, neither did I).

She told me about that first impression because she was saying "I knew all along you were weird".

Win a few, lose a few.

Absolutely. I have learned not to call 911 about a crime in progress, or try to get medical people to respect my sleep disorder.

LOL wut. Ive never heard of that. I'm trying imagine what it is. Im picturing it might be something a woman might do to 'get off'

Hugs --- I remember you saying this before. It's really sad that you've been misunderstood like that.

When I was in crisis from trauma and went to police, I wasn't believed either. The first time I was crying and upset but they wrote me off as being hysterical (in other words lying). The second time, I composed myself and managed my emotions. I was really factual and gave them proof of what was happening. They said I was too emotionless, so they couldn't believe me (in other words lying). They sent me back to years of SA and violence.

When I had my first stroke and went to hospital by ambulance, the receiving doctor tried to tell me I was "stoned" or "drunk" because I wasn't acting like a normal person. (I was an autistic person having a stroke, and hadn't received my script to know how that should look). He was very rude to me and ran tox screen tests instead of sending me for an immediate MRI or giving me clot-busting medicine which is required within that first golden hour of survival. It was a nurse who insisted that I be scanned for a possible stroke. Ironically she also told me that her little boy was autistic. Maybe that's how she understood.

Sleep Disorder tests --- I went to the lab to be wired up for an overnight sleep study. I had a sensory meltdown from all the wires and the beeping machines in the room. I admit I went pretty crazy, but that's what meltdowns do. The nurses hauled me out and suggested I was schizophrenic or had mental illness. Again they wanted to cancel the test and send me home. Thank goodness the doctor in this case was very kind. He let the test continue and he assured me afterward that my behaviours were not indicative of Schizophrenia or any other mental illness, they were sensory disorders, panic disorder, and sleep disorders (parasomnias).

I would take that as a compliment. That you 'looked like a movie star'.

So...keep that white robe!

Not just the charisma/attractiveness ...but you must have given off a commanding aura.

Some guy on my job said "you're not from around here are you?" Meaning from the Washington area. He was convinced that I was from some "resort area" because I " was more chill than most folks from around here".

"No. I dont live on Key West Time" I said. I didnt REALLY say that (thought of it later, damnit!). But I informed him that "No... I am not a surfer dude. I am from around here." It was odd comment, but I am still kinda flattered by it. He saw the chill side of my personality. Others, who know me in other contexts probably might not decribe me that way. lol! But who knows?
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But about your first points. There was a famous author (forget who) who said "the way to fool diplomats is to always tell the truth. If you tell the truth they never believe you."

Diplomats engage in international relations and traffic in machinations that are beyond those of the normal NT person.

So what diplomats are to most NTs, thats what NTs are to aspies. I have found a similar thing about NTs. The way to fool them is to tell the truth...and they never believe you.

I stim in my sleep and do repetitive sensory movements.

I act out dreams too (sitting up, kicking, using my arms).

I don't know if it means I'm having sexual dreams but who knows.

People have seen me doing the hip grind since I was a little girl.

When Machiavelli heard that another courtier had died suddenly, he mused "I wonder what he meant by that?"

The way I heard the story ...it was Metternich, the famous Austrian diplomat of Napoleonic times. When Metternich heard that the ambassador from Russia had just died he was heard to mutter "I wonder what his motive could be?"

There are expected actions in certain situations. NTs just fall into the usual responses. People with autism don't and don't realise it.

Autistic people don't follow those patterns. They furrow their brow and glare when thinking of a response to a question. Actions universally understood to depict anger throughout generations of humans. It's reasonable to expect that the average person will expect that to mean anger. It's not shocking or surprising.

We say things in an exact and blunt way and don't use the social graces and turns of phrase NTs do. It's not surprising that they think we are being deliberately antagonist.

It's not rocket science. When people communicate in vastly different ways there will be misunderstandings.

I get that and I agree, HL. I'm just baffled that NT's have an unspoken expectation that it's normal for everyone to lie, regardless of their facial expression or body language. Even when I talk to "very NT" people on the phone, or in written form, they seem to prefer lies over truth.

I guess what I really mean is, due to a lack of self-awareness often autistic aloofness gets mistaken for high self-confidence in 'being ourselves' which people who feel really cowed by a need to conform can be really put-off and intimidated by.

I think a lot of it boils down to omg, how can you just like be you?

And they reckon we're odd.

So really they're quite happy to live in a world where each and every person is lying to each other.

This just doesn't compute with me. This is where I've been going wrong all my life. I've been calling everyone out for being a liar and expecting something to be done about it when in all reality it's a perfectly normal and acceptable practice.

I've learned something today. Thanks guys.

There are "white lies" which are just part of being polite - you don't hurt someone's feelings about something that can't be helped, like a haircut. Those are expected. However, there are also black lies, intended to benefit the liar at someone else's expense, and while those are common, and sometimes even assumed to be part of a person's normal pay, they are not always expected, nor are they universal. The best people I know will sometimes sell things for less, just to feel right about the exchange.

Interesting, I haven't found this much at all.

The only time I had any bother when I was working for a construction company who weren't being straight up with their clients and I landed them in trouble because I gave something away that was meant to be hidden from them. That's been it. Most jobs have been straightforward.

Obviously if someone asks me if they look good in something I'll say yes, even if I hate it. Though I did apparently make a mistake in a clothes shop once. This woman wasn't going to buy this ugly top, we were just window shopping. She showed me it and I said I didn't like it. My flatmate was annoyed and corrected me, "but she does." Who cares. It's just a top and she'll forget she saw it tomorrow. I hated that flatmate. She was such a doormat. I did used to deliberately wind her up out of maliciousness because she pushed all the wrong buttons with me.

I haven't had issues with anyone I actually gave a crap about. I like most people even if I pretend to be a misanthrope.

I agree with this too. What I notice is that people expect others to exaggerate situations as much worse than they are, or much simpler than they are. I'm not sure what colour of lie that is? Example having a bad day and embellishing by adding a bunch of details which are lies to make it seem worse, or having a bad day and omitting a bunch of details to make it seem better. That happens in random daily conversations but also in bigger situations like government conspiracies and coverups to make things better / worse than they really are.

I had a roommate with a lying disorder. She'd lie about everything, even the price of a certain book in the Uni bookshop. I'd go there and the price would be different, or I'd look on her receipt and find she lied. I know those are little lies but it was just weird. It wasn't a case of "Oh I forget the price so I'm just estimating or rounding up / down", it was "The book definitely cost ______. I double checked!" and then it would be wrong.

It's just weird to me. State the facts. Add emotion if needed ("It was a really bad day!"), or sometimes use hyperbole depending on the context / audience. But overall I'll never understand why people who tell the truth are considered to be the ones spinning yarns.