Unsure and kind of scared

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Scrump, it would of course be irresponsible of some folks on the internet to diagnose you, so of course we say you should see a clinician.

I can guess you are thinking this is impractical advice for a 14 year old who isn't sure how to deal with his parents about this.

Across the many MANY stories people tell around diagnosis, there is a common element which is: knowing is better.

Official diagnosis gives more certainty than self diagnosis.

Some people have to self-diagnose because their circumstances do not allow them to get a formal diagnosis. We should not deny the validity of those people's self diagnosis, though we may still recommend they see a good clinician whenever this becomes possible.

I've come to believe that a good clinician is a clinical psychologist whose practice specialises in autism /Asperger's.

A clinical psychologist is one who has done extra study and practice. Their specialisation in autism let's them hear more of our actual perspectives and stories which makes them better at understanding underlying mechanisms and providing effective help. (This statement is backed up by recent academic literature).

You should prepare to explain clearly to your parents what you think and why. In case their desire to protect you makes them think that assessment would be bad, get ready to explain that diagnosis is super important to get the right sort of help and support.

Then, you've done all you can, and you can approach them. Tell yourself that the rest of the responsibility is on them to do the right thing. Muster your courage and talk to them about it.

Preparation, especially well-directed preparation, is how you can go from an inability to approach this conversation, to a successful one.

Remember, even if you aren't successful the first time, we are always here to listen and advise.

Scrump, Remember that the tests and even a formal diagnosis don't change whether or not you are on the Autism Spectrum. And if you are, then you always have been!

So if you are doing OK in life then you should be able to continue doing OK in life. Whether you are on the Autism Spectrum, or not; whether you know it, or not.

And if you are doing OK, I suggest one of the things you should discuss with your parents is whether or not to wait on getting a formal diagnosis. If you need extra help because of Autism then a formal diagnosis should help getting that. If you don't need extra help then I don't see any hurry.

I did OK in life. I have been diagnosed as having Autism Spectrum Disorder, Level 1 (Mild)—at age 64. By the time I got the diagnosis I'd gone to college, been in the military, joined Mensa, gotten married, and retired—even though I was on the Spectrum and did not know it!

Am going to offer a devil’s advocate position here . It is not meant to confuse but to help in understanding.
This is a bit like a forest from the trees concept. If you are autistic and you grow up with no frame of reference for Autism, how would you know? If or what autism is about, how would you know if you needed help . And if the parents are not inclined to help you get a diagnosis . Then What, it is a Godsend that sites like this one exist .

All this being written , I had a frame of reference , with a non verbal little sister . But I had parents whom did not want any mental health diagnosis . Of any kind in the family , but when my sister came along . They could not hide the issue . So I just spent my time in survival mode , in the family , But I got away from the family soon, Was able to
Go to college, have jobs , Eventually start my own business . And help my father with his . Not that he needed it, I just assisted him. Then married Ended up on a disability situation due to major vehicle accident, Eventually widowed.
As a entertainment issue got my aircraft pilots license . And Autism diagnosis was later in life . And am successfully retired. Although , on a medical basis but got through life with Autism. Must admit it was a “long strange ride.”
Hope you have a good experience with your Autism.

was brought up to believe not that i was autistic [the framework for such a thing was not common knowledge back in the stoned age] but that i was just big and clumsy and dumb. if i was labeled autistic instead, i doubt that would have been any better for me because you know how kids can take anything and turn it into an epithet, an insult. i hope, dear Scrump, that you never had to go through that.

Hi Scrump
What is it exactly that you are afraid of?